The NY Times the other day ran a huge feature on Trekkies (like Scott Veazies here) who’ve taken to building replicas of Captain Kirk’s chair (or buying ready-made versions for $2700) for their living rooms.
Veazie, 27, was not yet born when that show first went on the air in the 1960s; even his parents were only teenagers. But Mr. Veazie, who watched endless reruns of the original series with his mother in the 1980s, was never drawn to later incarnations. “The original show was the first one I saw,” he said. “It was so idealistic. A lot of us kids wanted to be Captain Kirk — and part of that was the chair.”
“The closet command-chair Trekkies have come out of the closet,” said Keith Marshall, 45, an unemployed phlebotomist, emergency medical technician, corrections officer and firefighter [Editor's note: the dude is unemployed, you don't have to list every job he's ever had] whose uncompleted chair, currently sitting in his brother’s garage, is slated for his own living room in Bonney Lake, Wash. [NYT]
Other Kirk-chair proponents say that the chair’s extra-soft cushions make a soothing seat for backsides that have been constantly wedgied.


This “virgin” really shouldn’t be talking about coming out of the closet. Or cumming out of the closet depending on which post I’m writing this for.
I admit it, I’d happily stab about 75% of my friends and family in the neck for one of those chairs.
Would you ladies like to come over and watch something out of my VHS collection?
That is the most painful banner pic, ever.
Can you drop a captain’s log in that thing?
Where’s Fek? We need a Vulcan’s opinion here!
The candles are Doritos scented.
His phaser is set for “lonely.”
I am an unemployed doctor, lawyer, and porn star.
puts on aviators, pelvic thrusts
That guy threw out guaranteed sex because his lady friend put that costume on while he was on the can.
Not pictured: His purple Chihuahua, Tribble.
Virgin Captain Kirk eats Fruit Roll Ups before dinner.
The pictures came with the frames.
Something tells me this guy has spent a lot of time with his Rod and Berrys.
*slides into corner unnoticed*
Candles: $10. Captain’s chair: $2700. Knowing your Fridays consist of loneliness and one-man Russian Roulette: Priceless.
This isn’t better than my Kevorkian chair.
Dor sho gha! That’s the guy that beat Him to the last set of free Magic cards online!
“Captain’s log, stardate… it doesn’t matter anymore…. I’m. So lonely. No girl. Will talk to me. I’ve never. Had sex. Goodbye. Endless. Void.”
*sets phaser to ‘paint wall with brain’ and dies alone in the dark*
Wait, is that an optical illusion, or is that grill BUILT IN to the picnic table?
If I’m getting any kind of replica chair, it’s gonna be Dr. Claw’s.
Only because the tall back would block the vision of whoever walks in on me ‘bating to mature porn.
Lt. Commander Hopeless can get in his Starfleet chair and suck His Klingon DICK!
‘bating to mature porn.
18 year olds?
The chair really goes nicely with the 245-inch big screen tv that only ever displays a part of space occupied by a large, red planet.
Joining the band and buying a silver razr to replicate William Shatner. I don’t get it.
This guy playfully calls his black neighbor Uhura. She playfully calls him Racist Honkey.
I bet you dollars to donuts this guy’s license plate says either “V GER” or “GLILEO7″.
“Honey, please come to the bridge. Bring nachos”
“I’m so fucking the mailman…”
“What”
“Affirmative, captain!”
When he has one, this guy is the life of the party. Of course, that’s only when he can round up enough homeless guys with sandwiches and liquor to constitute a “party”.
“Off… in… the distance… I can… see… my son… getting… his… ass kicked.”
Shouldn’t that guy get back to patrolling the streets of Canada?
Has anybody checked wiff Wil Wheaton to see if anthing is missing from
his living roomhis mom’s garage?How many young women do you think are buried under that floor?
The barbeque is Majel Barrett approved.
Pictured, LazyBoy’s new line of armchairs, LonelyBoy.
Looser! That chair has the advanced phason controls on the wrong side. Jeeze, this dweeb prolly’s never been laid.
Stone, is that a floor AC register underneath the window? Are they not showing us that this asshat has a $2700 captain’s chair in a GD mobile home?
Also, why do captain’s chairs never come equipped wiff seatbelts?
Star Trek Virgin: The Last Generation
Also, at the far left of the banner pic are the gayest fucking candle holders EVAR.
Set phasers to “stunted”.
His mini Eiffel Tower is for letting the blood and pain out.
I think it’s brave of Vince to post his own Facebook profile pic.
I set my phaser to “stuntin’” nigga!
*puts on stunna shades and gold grill*
Erswi – I’m gonna guess that you haven’t taken the HVAC/Mech/Plumbing test yet… That’s the proper place for a register.
I’m not gonna lie. I would totally sit that.
“It was so idealistic. A lot of us kids wanted to be Captain Kirk — and part of that was the chair.”
Kirk was a galaxy hoping, ass kicking, captain of a space ship who killed people by the millions with no quarter and banged hot chicks of every race, creed, color, and species…and the thing this dork thinks made him cool was a FUCKING CHAIR?! Jesus Christ Nerd!!! This is why we purple nurple you!
Also not pictured: crushing loneliness
“It was so idealistic. A lot of us kids wanted to be the chair — and part of that was Captain Kirk.”
“Imagine him sitting on your face. Capt Kirk’s Starfleet ass on your face…”