GRR, DUELING STEVE MCQUEENS!
03.24.09
As often happens in Hollywood, two movies about the same subject (in this case, a Steve McQueen biopic) are vying for production (see also: Harvey Milk, Pablo Escobar, Truman Capote). This time, two of Steve McQueen’s three wives are associated with separate projects.
Marshall Terrill’s biography “Steve McQueen: Portrait of an American Rebel” is being developed by producers Michael Cerenzie “Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead” and Christine Peters “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days”. They have enlisted the assistance of McQueen’s widow, Barbara Minty. Their project will trace McQueen’s development from reform-school delinquent to the highest-paid actor in Hollywood and cover the “Bullitt” star’s obsession with motorcycles and racing, his drug abuse, his marriages and affairs and his hard-fought battle with cancer, which felled him in 1980 at age 50.
The other project comes from producer and former McQueen publicist David Foster, who is working from a memoir written by McQueen’s first wife, Neile McQueen Toffel, titled “My Husband, My Friend.” Roderick and Bruce Taylor “The Brave One” are adapting. [THR]
I know people are excited about a Steve McQueen biopic because Steve McQueen was such a hardass and all, but Hollywood making a movie about one of their own scares me. Have you seen the Oscars? North Korean propaganda has more honesty and circumspection than Hollywood talking about Hollywood. I wouldn’t be surprise if this was about how Steve McQueen cured sadness and beheaded Xenu with his dick.
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PON FARR!!!!!!!!
I was upset to find out Steve McQueen wasn’t in the board game “The Grape Escape”.
Why is Yoga so popular in Hollytardland? Because the added flexibility helps them suck their own dicks without that pesky next day lumbar distress.
The idea of not one, but two Steve McQueen movies gives me a Junior Boner.
The one thing that always bothered The Mighty Feklahr about this episode of Star Trek is that Spock was all cool with that trifling Vulcan bitch. Not only that, her “lover” wussed out and had Kirk fight in his place!
On Kronos, this would have been dealt with easy:
*Feklahr comes half-way across the galaxy to get some pon farr lovin’ from his betrothed*
“Dor sho gha! What are you doing banging His betrothed, Ker’Splatt???”
“Please, sir, I didn’t m…*gurgle*”
SLICE!!!!!
“He’s a dead motherfucker now! Bitch, why you fuckin’ around on me”?
“Oh, Fekky-Poo, I jus…*gurgle*”
SLICE!!!!
“Hmm, all alone with two dead bodies and a pon farr boner…QAPLAH!”
There can be only one Bullitt. The question is which studio deserves the movie rights, and which deserves it to the head.
They should have a short-film duel in which each studio makes a car chase scene in which a car loses 9 hubcaps during the chase. Whichever film is less ridiculous wins the rights to make the movie.
Let casting begin! In this corner, Project A casts Will Ferrell as Steve McQueen! In this corner, Project B casts Will Smith as Steve McQueen! Let the battle begin!
I was so happy that the Manson Family didn’t get to Steve McQueen and that the cancer did instead.
GO CANCER!
Their project will trace McQueen’s development from reform-school delinquent to the highest-paid actor in Hollywood and cover the “Bullitt” star’s obsession with motorcycles and racing, his drug abuse, his marriages and affairs and his hard-fought battle with cancer, which felled him in 1980 at age 50.
Or, in layman’s terms, EVERYTHING.
In my adaptation, I change Steve’s name to “Cock McKing” and he drives his penis-shaped laser mobile through the suburbs trying to hit babies and dogs.
But here’s the important question: Can Zac Effron star in both?
Steve McQueen’s mistresses knew him better as Thomas Crown.
Upon learning of this, Steve kicked his way out of his grave, dug up the corpse of John Wayne, and beat the living shit out of his wives with John’s femur. Just like in the old days.
I may be wrong but I believe that GRRR . . . DUELING STEVE MCQUEENS may be the most masculine thing ever uttered on this site.
As long as they don’t touch and you don’t look at the other Steve’s McQueen, it’s not gay.
When I read the words ‘dueling Steve McQueens’ I choose to picture Master McQueen in a sword fight with himself.
This is why Mel hates the jews.
I think this star was appropriately homaged in the DVD I just rented, McQueef.
Deuling Steve McQueens would be the best banjo-music album of all time.
He died of cancer? Sounds like he needed a biopsy more than a biopic.
Sincerely, dude is well overrated. Original Thomas Crown Affair? There was better acting and more character development in the Rodney King video.
Fuck Steve. Ronald McDonald is my favorite McQueen.
Max, I suggest you bite your tongue. Steve McQueen is God and The Great Escape is best movie ever
North Korean propaganda has more honesty and circumspection than Hollywood talking about Hollywood.
But it doesn’t have more circumcision
Fox is working with his third wife to produce the more contemporary “Steve McQueen the farting Zombie”
I don’t care who wins as long as Daniel Craig plays him in one of them.