SEXMAN’S WATCHMEN REVIEW
03.17.09
In my excitement to get my own Watchmen review up, I neglected to post Sexman’s. But when it comes to Sexman, better late than never. Not surprisingly, he liked it.
“This movie is not for the faint of heart, there is quite a few graphic scenes… Which. I. Loved. They were awesome. And there’s a blue wiener too.”
And please, please, please, make sure you watch until the 2:02 mark for Sexman’s Rorschach impression. The results of Sexman’s Rorschach test, meanwhile, were: Rambo, a fight at school, me getting braces, graffiti…
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Banner pic: “Talk to the hand, cuz my face is a big mess of oogly teef!”
SPOILER ALERT: Still a virgin.
I don’t want to hear anymore retarded comments about.
Then shut up.
Apparently even Sexman has gone Hollywood. You just don’t get those Huey, Duey, and Louie lips without collagen injections.
If you look in the background you might glimpse his Retarded Fight Club champion ship belt.
Note to self: Put In the Mouth of Madness in Netflix queue.
If you turn your monitor sideways while Sexman talks, you’ll get your squid fanboys.
how the hell did sexman get allowed to see an R-rated movie?
Aren’t braces supposed to pull your teeth together, not irrevocably scatter them throughout your mouth making them look like pieces of paper left behind when you rip a sheet from your spiraled notebook?
Bex-Dude, he’s Canadian! They get like free beer and whores there!
Wait, his fingers and thumbs aren’t stars? I just assumed that based upon his voice, his touch would simply be magic.
He also has some pretty sweet b-ball moves if you look through his channel.
Damnnit!! and all these years my people have been sneaking into the wrong country :(
Quis custodiet ipsos sexes? Us, I guess.
The Comedian: God help us all
Sexman’s gums are on the San Andreas fault.
P.S. Who sexes the Sexman? Pictured: 5 volunteers.
In response to Sexman’s review, Alan Moore stated “That’s one strange lookin’ dude.”
Sexman will look up and shout “Save us!”… and I’ll whisper “What the fuck happened to your face!?!?”
Sexman a tombstone implanted in his mouth for every baby tooth he lost.
He may be sexually confused after all that blue weiner. Like, “Why isn’t mine blue?” and other questions of that nature.
had
fuck
Sexman’s teeth just need some space.
@Chino
Is it a trial separation?
Sexman talks when he spits.
His teeth are estranged :(
His teeth are set in his mouth like a flock of geese.
@Chino
His teeth have monthly visitation rights with the others.
The tooth fairy just used direct deposit every time Sexman lost a baby tooth.
His teeth are collecting individual welfare checks.
His teeth appear to be seeing other people.
@6ways
I don’t know. His teeth were ordered to remain at least one inch away from each other after the great retainer debacle.
His teeth shop at The Gap
As I know ONE of you is aware, the distance between Sexman’s teeth is measured in parsecs.
With lips like that, he’s fucked if he ever ends up prison.
His teeth’s favorite BBC show is Simon Pegg’s Spaced.
TD-ROFLKOTAL!
girl you know it’s girl you know it’s girl you know it’s girl you know it’s girl you know it’s girl you know it’s girl you know it’s
His teeth are Sexman’s gateway to his soul.
TD-ROFLKOTAL!
girl you know it’s girl you know it’s girl you know it’s girl you know it’s girl you …
Sexman is in favor of all stopgap measures.
When asked for comment a Crystal Meth addict said: Daaaaaaamn!
Fucking Klingons are soooo easy to amuse.
I like his cloak. Was he meeting up with the rest of the diabolists for a satanic ritual later?
Sexman flosses with aircraft cable.
In the future Sexman’s teeth work at Spacely Space Sprockets.
Sexman just wants a high-five for being able to keep his head from inevitably splitting apart for another day.
Sexman’s teeth are doing a Piano Keys impersonation
One day in the distant future a paleontologist (no, not that one) will dig up Sexman and name him Gapus Dentata Rex.
Sexman’s teeth are throwin’ up gang signs.
Sexman’s IQ test came back and it said “No”.
Someone should write “Enter at your own risk” on his face.
Scientists are working vigorously to determine if those are truly gaps between his teeth or possibly organic dark matter.
Sexman’s teeth are in jail!
When Sexman opens his mouth on the Serengeti, Lions cannot attack due to confusion to the number of teeth.
Sexman’s front tooth says ‘next tooth one mile’
Sexman’s favorite Goonie is Mouth.
The machines in the Matrix used Sexman to burrow down to Zion.
I suddenly feel like kicking a field goal.
Sexman’s teeth just got off of work from their football referee job.
The US government has been trying to buy some of Sexman’s gum space for park land.
I thought they were wearing their inmate costume.
Sexman’s mouth is inspired by ‘Audrey 2′.
Sexman uses the gaps in his teeth for illustrative purposes when he’s telling his fishing stories.
Billy Bob wears fake Sexman teeth to be funny.
Sexmanischewitz: The kosher wine recommended by none orthodontists.
Sexmans dentist graduated from UTI.
Sexman’s dentist committed suicide; the jury unanimously found it justifiable.
Sexman’s tooth to space ratio is 1 to 3
One day in the distant future a paleontologist (yes, THAT one) will dig up Sexman, have sex with him, then write about it on a shitty blog.
Sexman wanted his reviews to sound more interesting and sensational. That’s why he braced for impact.
I tried to read Sexman’s lips, but all I understand is “U U U U U”.
His toothbrush has to Mapquest each tooth to brush them.
Sexman knows his fingers aren’t stars, but his fingers don’t know Sexman is a star. Wait, what?
If anyone knows what a blue wiener/balls look like, it’s Sexman.