SEXMAN HAS A MESSAGE FOR RIHANNA
03.04.09
FilmDrunk’s official movie society reviewer Sexman is back with an important message for Rihanna, who he says is stupid for taking Chris Brown back. Moreover, he has some general thoughts on domestic violence:
“It’s just an endless cycle. It’s a horrible circle that just keeps going round and round, until someone decides to just make a hole between the circle so it can’t go around anymore. …Not between the circle, but… cut one side or something. You know, it’s a hard analogy to talk about. Whatever.”
Girls are crazy, domestic violence is a cycle, analogies are hard – slow down, Sexman! So young, and already, so few of life’s great truths left to discover.
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It’s a horrible circle that just keeps going round and round, until someone decides to just make a hole between the circle so it can’t go around anymore.
Ah yes, the donut therapy.
God, I think those braces are actually making his teeth worse.
Sexman is truly this generation’s Walter Cronkite. “Good day, YouTube, and hope to see you back here real soon!”
I recently downloaded all the Sexman videos and loaded them into iTunes. Turns out gapless playback is an empty promise.
It’s easy for Sexman to get confused when he’s talking about holes.
best theory on circles ever
A less respectable vlogger would have offered to take Rihanna himself and comfort her, protect her from Chris Brown. Not Sexman though*.
*he doesn’t like black chicks.
For the LOVE of Money GOD, Please LISTEN to Sexman!
sexman is the result of the coat hanger not reaching
The emblem on Sexman’s hat is a pair of forcibly interlocked teeth
Sexman’s teeth and Rihanna’s forehead are currently locked in an epic battle.
Other than making YouTube videos, Sexman’s hobbies include eyebrow horticulture and listening to HOT 97 on his braces.
Chris Brown/Sexman is the new 2Pac/Biggie.
Rihanna’s “After” Photo = Sexman’s “Always” Photo
Has anyone addressed the fact that this kid has the exact same semi-circular teeth that are drawn on the Simpsons characters?
“Dental plan… Lisa needs braces…”
Great truths Sexman has yet to discover: ‘Cleanliness is next to Godliness’ and ‘Try not to smack your lips when you talk, especially when your mouth looks like a big, pink vagina’
Sounds like the 70′s Amazing Kreskin with a drunk on. He made out all right.
Scientists maintain that Sexman’s teeth were formed by the “Big Bang” theory.
@ Sweaty
Sexman has indeed addressed the “Lisa Needs Braces” angle.
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2008/08/sexman-responds-to-haters-gets-braces
sexman has an extra copy of genetic material on the 21st chromosome
In Japan, Sexman is known as “Zebra stripe smile kid”.
No braces can cage Sexman’s wisdom.
I hear Sexman’s next review is on ‘riding your bicycle to school’ and ‘inhaling flies’. I am thrilled.
Fast forward to 2020 when Sexman is convicted of beating his Brazilian supermodel wife
/shakes head
so sad…so sad