03.17.09 SAM MENDES, DAVE EGGERS… COLLEGE BONER!

I like to tell hipsters “Where the fuck is my coffee?”

I would watch Maya Rudolph in just about anything. Preferably nothing. ZING!

I like to tell hipsters “Didn’t you like House music in high school?”

The great part about hipster movies is that they’re not afraid to cast normal-looking uggos like Maya Rudolph as the female leads in movies.

After Vince posted this he put on his neon Wayfarer sunglasses and rode his 10-speed down to the used record store to meet up with his friends Hopper and Sebastian, who were trading in their old Kings of Leon albums because they’ve become so “Middle American blue collar… *mumbling*.”

I like to tell hipster chicks “Yeah, I blog”.

I like to tell hipsters “Only numb-thumbed fags play Sega”

Dave Eggers is working on a medical drama called “Skinny Genes.”

I like to tell hipster chicks “Goonies never say die!”

Then hit them with a crowbar. I’m a romantic.

Sam Mendes: “I don’t know, John. I love you on the Office, but I’m not sure you have the right look for my movie.”

John Krasinski: *puts on “vintage” cardigan, grows beard*

Sam Mendes: “You got yourself a god-damned job.”

After Vince posted this he put on his neon Wayfarer sunglasses and rode his 10-speed down to the used record store to meet up with his friends Hopper and Sebastian, who were trading in their old Kings of Leon albums because they’ve become so “Middle American blue collar… *mumbling*.”

Hello? I ride a fixed-gear. 10-speeds are so bourgeois.

I hope to see more of Maya’s cleavage in this than there was in Idiocracy.

Alternate Title: A Heartbreaking Work of Meandering Genus

Don’t Vince. Just don’t.

*moves hair out of eyes*

Oh shit! This is Filmdrunk?

It’s really hard to believe this “couple alone in the world” premise when they’re constantly being followed by the Verizon network.

What the hell happened to Maya Rudolph. She used to be hot at one time. Its almost as if her husband Paul Anderson is making her as dreary and bleak as his movies.

I’m tweeting this post from Beacon’s Closet. Ironically, of course.

*takes sip of Manhattan*

Ugh, Vince, you need to tell your bartender to go light on the vermouth or I’ll just go back to drinking PBRs.

John Krazinski’s beard is a collection of Steve Carrell’s coat tail clippings.

True story: I though Sam Mendes and Alan Ball were the same person until about a month ago when someone told me he was banging Kate Winslet and I was like, “nuh uh.”

You can experience more little nuggets of me in my one man show, I will hunt and kill you, Elvis Costello, currently playing in the abandoned Sbarros next to the Chipotle.

*refreshes Viceland.com*

Did anyone go to the Girl Talk concert last week? His schtick is getting tired like Boho. Hey Pauly, wanna go to the retro drafthouse and watch the midnight showing of Bottle Rocket?

Anybody else looking at that banner pic and expecting Krasinski to pull out a felt green frog that says “Hi Dee Ho!” ?

Are we completely sure Krasinski isn’t a fucking sasquatch???

Hmm…actors I like, director I like, writer I love – so why does this look boring as hell?

Is this a sequel to Juno, or did they just steal the credit sequence and soundtrack?