JOHNNY DEPP’S BALLS ARE IN A POSTER
03.03.09
One of the movies I’m most looking forward to this year is Michael Mann’s 30s gangster flick Public Enemies, starring Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, Billy Crudup and pretty much every hot dude ever. I mean, I didn’t mean to imply that I was looking forward to it because of the hot dudes… I just meant I’m looking forward to it, and it also happens to have hot dudes. I don’t even know why I said that. I think maybe there’s some subliminal shit going on with the poster. You tricked me into staring at Johnny Depp’s crotch again, Satan! Crap, I think I need to go re-watch Fireproof a few more times.
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A busy year for Bale. Does he owe people money?
More like Pubic Enemies!!!1!11!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!
His balls want to give me the “Deppo shot.”
^Also a Jagger bomb with a John wad in it.
Depp was all, “do I love the title? I’m nuts over it!”
This movie should also attract Marion Cotillard’s fan.
Question is, will this be a Last of the Mohicans / Heat Mann movie, or a Miami Vice the movie, Mann movie?
Man.
*quickly hides “Marion Cottillard #1″ foam finger behind back*
Christian Bale is in early Oscar talks for his portrayal of Flava Flav. It’s gritty.
I believe it will be a Manhunter Mann movie. Literally, by the looks of it.
Johnny Depps balls are more famous than I’ll ever be. Prolly happier too
When asked if this movie would be any good, Christian Bale replied, “Depp-ends on what you’re in to.”
My Balls Personally say “Best if Taken Orally”
If there was one actor who had the balls to fill in for Heath Ledger as the Joker, you’re looking at him…errr…umm…looking at them.
Being married, my balls recently starred in a poster for The Untouchables.
My balls recently starred in a poster for The Uninvited.
/I’m married, but I can’t really say that’s the reason
@boPa–if that’s what you’re into, go ahead and finger Cotillard’s #1 foam
/le petit morte
Starring Johnny Depp’s penis as Pubic Enemy #1.
Variety is also reporting Jonah Hill’s asshole is Public Enemy #2.
wanders away, sits in corner, looks for a vein between his toes
Pubic Enemies, Public Enemas… both likely to get more Google hits than this rehash.
I hope this is a scratch-and-sniff poster.
I mean GRRRRR…..CRYBABY!
During my first marriage, my balls starred in the poster for Dumb and Dumber.
My balls look like a pair of Dr. Manhattens in the Watchmen poster.
Johnny Depp’s balls on a poster? I’d prefer them on my chin. Is that too gay?
Is it subliminal? No, it taint.
Zac Efron saw this poster and then immediately told his agent to put an “Above the Title” rider in all his contracts.
If you pass out at a party, there.s a good chance Johnny will Depp his balls in your mouth
Too gay is if Johnny Depp’s balls are taken sublingually. Chin’s probably O.K.
According to the marketing plan, Johnny Depp’s dick is not to be fucked with.
I think this layout would’ve worked better for Willy Wonka.
Just sayin’.
Variety Headline:
Depp Balls Deep in Poseur Poster!
New title: Road to Perineum
I’d be careful if I were you, Lince. I’ve heard tell if you watch Fireproof too many times as a way to “pray out the gay” you black out and wake up in a seedy hotel room with a pile of dead male hookers and lambs’ blood smeared on the walls.
That, and your garbage cans are smashed.
That, and your garbage cans are smashed.
VaLince’s cans can’t hold their liquor?
They really gave Christian Bale the shaft with this movie poster.
Variety Headline:
Depp Balls Deep in Poseur Poster!
For some reason, I think that headline could also describe Mr_Drummond.
Hey McG, you got somethin to say to this prick?
The gun needs to be more centrally located. In other news towels will be distributed to 95 percent of the females attending this movie…and probably a high percentage of the males too.
Johnny Depp’s balls are in a poster.
Is that poster’s name ChinoMoreno?
(please say yes, please say yes)
I’d let Johnny Depp in my rumble seat anyday.
And by “rumble seat” I mean “anus”
@Rexy, I hate you.
This reminds me of when I used to masturbate to 21 Jump Street. I mean, because of Holly Robinson. Peete. Christ, I’m gay.
You’re all idiots. This is a way of saying that criminals should be hung. It’s a pro death penalty poster.
When I first read “Johnny Depp’s balls are in a poster” I immediately thought “ZOMG! Al is fucking Johnny Depp!”
Another remake?
Burn Hollywood Burn!!!
Goddamn it. Sorry bout stealing your joke chino. But it is alot funnier thinking that Al is fucking Johnny Depp.
What’s Eating Gilbert’s Grapes?
Someday Johnny will be aged enough to appear masculine at first glance.
Hasn’t happened yet, however.
This poster gives me Ed Wood.
Can someone inform Mr. Depp that my chocolate factory is open for business?
But it is alot funnier thinking that Al is fucking Johnny Depp.
If by “funnier” you mean “sexier”, then yes.
Thanks for giving me something to swoon about for the rest of the day, Nom.
Yeah Al is fucking Johnny Depp–in Neverland! Ahahahahaha I suck.
/when I dated Rihanna she beat me
Pfft, big deal. Depp’s been using pictures of his balls as his avatar on the Durden site for years now.
He goes by the name “Paleo” something, and he WILL travel the country for sex.
Let’s not forget Stephen Dorff is in this movie.
I just hope he does a better job of acting in this role than the one where he tries to convince me to repair my windshield at the carwash every Friday.
So I was doing an internet search for “Johnny Depp’s Balls”, and what the fuck are all of you guys doing here? Is this an intervention?
Robo, don’t think of it as “rehab”. Think of it as a gift. The gift of life.