03.31.09 THINGS I’M THANKFUL FOR: SINGING DOGS
This isn’t film-related, but it’s too important not to post.
This is Porter. Or as I like to call him, Porter the Blues Dog. He likes to rock out on the casio and howl about childhood traumas, like Papa Roach except musical. If anyone out there has the technological capabilities to put Porter through a T-Pain-style harmonizer, I really think it would be worth the time. Also: if Porter the Blues Dog and Hamster on a Piano played a duet I think I might die of cuteness.
[thanks to dan for sending this in]
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/01/hangoverbear-150x150.jpg)
There are 30 comments about:
THINGS I’M THANKFUL FOR: SINGING DOGS
The only way that video could have been better would be if Porter was an old Coon Hound.
What? Don’t fucking judge me.
*goes to corner, puts on KKK Dunce hood*
Somebody get Porter the big piano from Big.
Looks like some bitch done him wrong.
FREE BIRD!
No really, Porter left a bird at my doorstep.
Michelle Owen has all of his albums.
If you guys haven’t heard “Damned Cone, Caint Reach Mah Balls”, you’re missing out.
His two former band mates, Barky and Spike, are still suing for their share of the royalties for “Joy To The World.”
Is he a Blues Tick Coon Hound?
clap
clap
clap
clap
Porter won a Grammy for “Whose Ass You Been Sniffin’ Tonight?”
^ was for Stoney, BTK
His sophomore album “Throw the Stick” was musically superior to his debut, “Barkin’ at Fat Cats”, but he really neutered his lyrical abilities.
I thought “Peanut Butter and 70s Muff Blues” was an underappreciated gem.
His cover of “Cat Scratch Fever” is a can’t miss.
pfft… whatev.
<== Art major. Not really, Windows Paint.
[Assume I posted the lyrics to "Red Rooster" here and substituted "Rocket" for all mentions of "Rooster"]
Sure he can sing, but can he milk a goat?
Dogs should stick to what they know – playing poker.
[Also assume I said something funny in the past three weeks. Humor me.]
hahaHA [snort] Ha HA haha ha… hoo… heeee
[kick some xany bars bopa?]
My baby gone and left me,
when they took my balls away
All thats left that I can see,
is to mope around all day
I got the neutered blues
I got the clip and snip blu-who-whos
Tragedy struck when Porter’s owners, unaware that he was on a heroin binge, mistook his foaming for rabies and shot him in the backyard.
Porter
2006-2009
Beloved Pet
Renowned Musician
Gone But Not Forgotten
Oh, I finally saw Pineapple Express this weekend and laughed so hard I threw up a little. And that dear sirs, and madames and sirdames, is a high compliment.
Porter recorded 83 blues songs about Bob Barker.
Porter sold his soul for milkbones at the crossroads, but the joke’s on the Devil; all dogs go to heaven.
Porter sings into a microbone.
*cartwheels to corner*
They say his main influence is Howlin’ Wolf
Porter’s rider includes 5 bags of Beggin’ Strips, a 10 pound bag of Gravy Train, and that sexy pillow from the couch for the post show romp.
Rolling Bone called Porter’s Ballad “I Love You Patches” “Ass-Dragingly good”
That bitch can really play.
Comment on this post:
You must be logged in to post a comment. Not yet a member, register for free.