NEWS STEW!
03.02.09
Any time is a good time for a Karate Kid montage. Even when your baby’s dying. (video) [ScreenJunkies]
Wrestler/American Gladiator Matt Morgan claims to be in Iron Man 2. I don’t know who that is. Should I? (article) [thePlaylist]
A compilation of fat people ruining things. I find the guy breaking the kiddie pool especially mesmerizing. (video) [HolyTaco]
J.J. Abrams has an idea for Cloverfield 2. Oh boy. (article) [ComingSoon]
Pretty Vacant – a list of hot dumb girls from TV (which are a lot more tolerable in fictional form). Worth it for the screencap of Kelly Bundy in a near see-through shirt. They let that on TV?! Where was I?? (list) [Bullzeye]
Jason Bateman to star in Jason Reitman’s Up in the Air, opposite George Clooney. I thought you should know, but wasn’t interested enough to do a post about it. (article) [Variety]
The Dog That Peed Forever. Seriously, this is f-ing amazing. I heard the Farrelly Brothers are already signed to direct the film adaptation. (video) [BestWeekEver]
Entertainment Tonight runs not one, but two teasers for their upcoming Terminator Salvation teaser. It’s so meta! No, wait, check that, it’s actually just shamelessy whorish. (article w/video) [WarmingGlow]
(Meat Baby picture via HolyTaco)
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Thanks to that picture, girls won’t look at me weird for saying “Swallow my babies”
Is that meat baby pic a test shot from The Road?
I assume everyone’s read the book, so I won’t be spoiling anything. I also assume most Indian’s enjoy living in poverty, and most Paul Rudd movies aren’t funny.
So meaty!
Cl2verfield
Cl2verfield?
Meat baby, huh? Well, that’s rare.
The Dog That Peed Forever = Randy Jackson’s friend who died of dehydration.
“So, have you always been this strong?”
“Baby, I was born a beefcake.”
From ComingSoon‘s comments:
“I wonder if it’ll be called cloverfield 2. I hope they come up w/ some other random name that still has meaning.”
I’m sorry Vince, but after reading that site, your site doesn’t have the funniest commenters after all.
Maybe we’re just the intentionally funniest.
Inside-out Baby’s life was tragically cut short when his father drunkenly smothered him in steak sauce and threw him in the deep frier.
Cl2verfield, Jacktion?
Personally, I’m rooting for Twoverfield.
Awww, you look much more adult now that you’ve lost your baby-fat!
“rendered” is more like it.
Meat Baby is the horror prequel to Meet Dave.
Is that the poster for The Curious Case of Benjamin Mutton?
The Boy in the Tripe Pyjamas
That baby was carried in his mother’s moooterus.
This baby was suffering from colic so his parents had him cured.
“That baby was carried in his mother’s moooterus.”
Must … resist … “delivered through beef curtains” … argh!!
Now that’s the meat I wanna beat.
Not sure if the cops messing about with the tazer can be classed as fat, funny though. Nice Kelly Bundy pic.
“How long til dinner’s ready?”
“Not long … the baby’s just resting.”
“Mmmm, so tender! Is this baby veal?”
“Close … it’s a veal baby.”
“How could anyone say a meat baby is in “bad taste”? It’s delicious!”
<— {scrabbles desperately for “bun in the oven” joke … gives up, shoots self.}
I call bullshit.
If that were a real baby it would be swimming in:
1 teaspoon salt
3 Tablespoons Hoisin saice
3 Tablespoons soy sauce (I’d go with dark)
2 Tablespoons dry sherry
2 Tablespoons honey
2 Tablespoons cooking oil
and 3 maybe 4 cloves garlic, chopped.
You talk about good. Mmmm mmm
Is that the North Korean famine platter?
I call dibs on the baby-back ribs, TengoDooter!
That is actually how I see everyone when I’m on a diet.
A Jeffrey Dahmer Thanksgiving.
Y’all settle down now. There’s gonna be plenty for everyone.
Vince, can I borrow a half dozen Ot Kho dry chili, please.
Not too hot, please…
There’s nothing worse than a baby with a high temperature.
If you get a chili just leave it on your plate GuyWho. It flavors the oil, you don’t have to eat them. I find baby meat a little gamey if you don’t season it properly.
Thanks TengoD.
Another method is to have the baby’s arm holding an apple. This creates ‘baby gravy’ if manipulated in the proper fashion.
Or so I’ve been told…
I usually microwave my baby.
That dingo stole my baby.
I hope baby is new a Ramen flavor.
Apple? Get your own baby dude.
I’m wokin’ up some Bejing Baby with a little Szechuan accent. Take it or leave it.
You can make your own, Pauly!
Just sprinkle a little baby powder in there and stir.
Mmmmmm, fragrant!
Would one of you fuckers start some rice?
Meatbaby goes great with a side of Cabbage Patch kid.
I’m sure your Beijing Baby is adorable, TengoD, and I look forward to wrapping my mouth around it.
No doubt El Topo wants his on a tortilla. Okay, I’ll make a small batch of Moo Shu Baby too.
GuyWho,
The Dooter don’t roll that way. Get out of my kitchen fag.
No, no, there’s been a misunderstanding…
And I brought some fava beans and this nice chianti.
Slurpy slurpy slurp!
You guys know who Brotha Lynch Hung ir?
Brotha Lynch wishes he could wok like The Dooter.
is*
I’s drunk.
Wasn’t he just “Brotha Lynch”, then he killed and ate William Hung?
That baby is stuffed with smashed peas.
It’s been tenderized with baby beets.
The recipe’s pretty easy to follow – it’s laid out in baby steps.
Looks like Octo-mom is a pretty good cook.
That baby is premature.
When Belinda Carlisle saw what was for dinner, she was heard to exclaim:
“Ooh, baby! Do you know what that’s worth?”
I think I’ve cracked the baby formula!
You poke that baby with a coat hanger to check if it’s done.
Mel Gibson loves the smell of Kosher baby in a gas oven.
Some babysitters suggest a good Shake ‘n Bake recipe.
Did this one die of SIDS? I don’t want the meat to be too tough.
I can tell it’s a girl because the meat drapes.
I think I’m gonna call some of my female friends over to make some babies some time this week. I love a girl that can cook.