This is a commercial Michael Bay made for Commonwealth Bank across the pond. Er, underneath the pond (whatever you call Australia). It ponders the question, “What if Michael Bay made a commercial for Commonwealth Bank?” It’s not bad. Overall, I like Bay a lot more as the star of commercials than as a movie director. They should do this with all crappy directors.
- Manny Shymalan: “You didn’t like it? You probably just didn’t understand it. It’s unfortunate, but only a few people in the entire world could ever hope to fathom the concept I was going for.”
- Uwe Boll: “At least eet’s betta zen za commercials of Eli Roth, wot make za same fockink commercials every fockink time.”
- Seltzer-Friedberg: *laughing* “Get it? It’s Paris Hilton getting hit by a dumptruck. Amazing, right?”
- George Lucas: “No, see, the family of groundhogs was just happy to see someone going to Commonwealth Bank. My friend Stevie liked it. He’s 11.”
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/MIchael-Bay-Smirk-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/Marky-Mark-dwarves-pain-and-gain-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/weekend-movie-guide-mark-wahlberg-pumps-up-in-pain-and-gain-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/MICHAELBAY-Dreams-of-Michael-Bay-150x150.jpg)
Michael Bay: Commonwealth Bank Commercial Take one. Action!
Shia walk up to the counter.
TELLER: Would you like your balance sir?
SHIA: Nononononono! No! Nonononono! Stop!
I see Australia hasn’t received news of the old global bank problem just yet.
Brett Ratner: “And that’s my commercial for Citibank.”
Citibank exec: “Can you explain again why the children are naked?”
The Joel Schummacher commercial was at a Sperm Bank.
Screw this! Here’s a funny goggie! He haz a cheezburger!
[ihasahotdog.com]
George Lucas: “See, then it is revealed that the teller has been having relations with his 13 year old neighbor for, like, years and…”
Commonwealth Bank: “I don’t really see how that is relevant. Or acceptable.”
George Lucas: “No No, its fine. I’ve been pitching this idea for years, people love it. And anyway, I plan to make the teller European, they’ll expect it then.”
McG had such a bad experience with his last bank commercial he asked for a Bale out.
Bank commercials directed by a guy who specializes in enormous explosions… yeah, sounds about right.
The David Eggers commercial was 30 seconds of a guy wearing a sweater and glasses checking his balance four times to see if it changes.
*Manny Shymalan enters the frame*
“Hi. I’m M. Night Shymalan. Not everyone understands my sophisticated concepts, but one thing you CAN understand is good customer service…”
Clint Eastwood’s commercial for the Bank of Japan was 30 seconds of Hiroshima footage.
Spike Lee’s commercial for the Bank of Harlem was a bit of a stretch because it showed a boy with his father.
James Cameron’s commercial depicts rival banks as becoming self-aware and cost $25 million to make.
An unsuccessful pin entry at the Michael Baynk ATM results in an explosion.
An explosion of suck.
Spielberg: You’re gonna need a bigger bank.
Roman Polanski’s commercial plays up the fact that you can open a deposit account even if you’re only 13.
David Fincher’s bank commercial that he put on the last 2 minutes of Fight Club didn’t go over too well with the execs
Mel Gibson’s commercial is 30 seconds of the bank president being beaten and whipped mercilessly as he struggles to crawl to the institution’s entrance. He dies just as he is able to reach up and unlock the doors to let the public in for the day. It ends in silence with a floating graphic that says “Commonewealth Bank – Passionate about customer service.”
gary busey’s bank gives you a credit card to cut the free 8 ball you get for opening a checking account
Yeah that’s a lot better than Ratner’s commercial where he sucks off 2 trannies for Doublemint Gum
Christopher Nolan’s commercial about a bank starts just like the Dark Knight, but this time the Bank Manager is able to stop the Joker and his goons. Then he reloads the shotgun and says: “‘Why so serious?’ Because protecting your money is serious business.”
Wes Anderson tried doing this commercial set to Iggy Pop tunes while having two brothers and Bill Murray walk across the Outback to find more about this bank account left by their dead father. In the end, it’s all just a way for them to meet their mother, a bank teller played by Angelica Huston. Also, balls.