03.27.09 MARVEL STARTED A SCREENWRITING SWEATSHOP

So then, this is about writers being mistreated?

Meh.

Hey everyone. Do me a flavor. Go do a google search for “hobonutsack”.

Victory!

The image search for hobonutsack was sadly lacking.

I am a lawyer, and I believe there was a precedent set for this. Roe V Wade clearly, um, clearly states that once a parent company conceives a brainchild or in this case, a litter of brainchildren in a thinktank, uh, they own them. And they can then kill them. They then have access to the bodies for a period of 5 years, or 2 years following the settlement of any legal hearings. The end.

Oh Swi, this is why I love thee

Ya hobonutsack

While I’m not a lawyer, I took enough constitutional law to know that this is still fucking retarded.

Oh, and congratulations to all involved in the Great Hobonutsack Siege of March 25th.

The press release doesn’t mention the the shirtless man on the timpani at the front of the room, or the heavy chains attached to the desks

I like to pretend I’m a lawyer, mainly for the professional courtesy when scuba diving with sharks.

*wackety schmackety doooooo!*

Dor sho gha! The Mighty Feklahr will have to wait 1 year and 364 days to publish his story about the Hobbit that is a farmer by day and intramural soccer champion international spy by night???

Samuel L. Jackson thinks those fuckers have it easy. He’s having to call Sharpton and Jesse to dust out the underground railroad and get him out of there.

Banner pic: “From the people who brought you Fantastic Four…”

Grandma’s got it going on.

I’m a lawyer, and what this means, legally speaking, is that Marvel controls what these writers do for two years after their contract is up.

I’m not a lawyer and so by law I hate all lawyers.

Sorry, I don’t make the laws.

Marvel Sweatshop Brainstorm:

Writer 1: What about a team of super heroes who must fight their creator?

Stan Lee: Broccoli Man!

Writer 2: Could Iron Man 3 be all about Tony Stark faking his own death?

Stan Lee: What time is it? Where am I? Who are you people?

Writer 1: Yeah, maybe Iron Man has to fight his own creations and pretend to die.

Stan Lee: My favorite type of fruit is the kind without seeds.

Writer 2: Nurse!

Nurse: Stan, it’s time for your pudding and heat blanket nap!

Stan Lee: Stan SMASH!

I literally cried a single tear when I googled Hobonutsack and my Blade hobonutsack comment was the first thing I read on the description…I feel like I passed a bill in congress.

Being an oppressed writer will make writing Black Panther and Luke Cage a little easier

I feel like you passed a stone in Congress. Except with more bleeding and crying.

/crawls out of hole

You can create an enforceable contract requiring you to do just about anything so long as it isn’t illegal or against public policy (i.e. killing hookers–that isn’t illegal right?). So, short answer, the contract is probably valid so long as there isn’t some sort of law or court case in the jurisdiction that governs the contract’s enforcement that says its invalid. (That’s why you pay us the big bucks).

From the point of view of general contract law, the two year post-termination portion of the contract is probably ok, so long as it is worded properly. That doesn’t mean you might not be able to get around it somehow. Given that the contract is nonnegotiable, any court looking at it will almost certainly construe any ambiguity in the writer’s favor.

With that said, lesson for the day kids . . . don’t sign it if all you are going to do is just whine about it later. I tell that to my imported russian wife and her “sisters” all the time.

/crawls back into hole

Take a letter Ms. Crotchrot. Need to create story about boy bitten by radioctive spider. Stop. In love with red haired dame with fucked up teeth. Stop.

GET IN THE HOLE! IT’S LIKE YOUR HOME! DON’T YOU WANNA GO IN YOUR HOME?

My lawyer said to take the plea bargain.

What do you call 100 lawyer at the bottom of the ocean?

Fucking dead ass lawyer man. Jeeze you’re stupid.

*lawyer hat on* Sounds good to me. Essentially it sounds like a variation of a non-compete agreement. Interpretation is a little different because the product being created is intellectual property so it’s not just general contract law. It’s to protect Marvel from having a writer coming in and using the creative juices flowing in that office to beef up any preexisting projects or to develop some later.
*lawyer hat off*

I get what it’s supposed to protect against, and it wouldn’t be an issue if you’re only working with pre-existing characters, but for TWO YEARS on EVERY PROJECT? How does that work?

/relaxes in big chair
/dabs forehead with a handkerchief

Nowwww….I’m not a big city lawyer, but even I can tell that this company has impugned upon my client. I ask that all charges be dismissed.

/takes sip of mint julip

/hears some commotion; crawls back out of hole

vince, think about it like this. I am going to give you 1 million dollars. In exchange for this 1 million dollars, you are going to give me (1) possession of the photos you took when you f’d the donkey last week, (2) one week worth of blow jobs everyday at 6p.m., and (3) the right to any donkey f’ing photos you may take in the next 6 months. Putting aside the whole “legal hangup” certain individuals may have over the sex for money (what?!?) and scenes of beastiality. You have agreed to do a certain thing over a period of about 6 1/2 months in exchange for 1 million dollars.

The writers did the same thing . . . actually, if you think about it, except for the time differences, the agreement is you just made is identical. Btw, I don’t get home until around 5:45, so don’t be hangin’ around on the front porch, the neighbors might talk.

/back in the hole

The difference being that in the Marvel case, they’re claiming the right to anything from 24 months after the writer leaves. I could see signing over my rights to something for 24 months from TODAY, but to me it’s fucked that they stipulate 24 months after the person quits. The whole point of quitting is that you want to dissolve your partnership with someone.

I’m not saying I don’t understand the LOGIC of the agreement (especially for Marvel), I just don’t think that it’s reasonable to ask of an employee. If employer and employee don’t get along, employee is basically at employer’s mercy even after employee has ceased to be employee. It’s basically asking someone for the right to fuck them over just in case you feel like it.

/gets hole burn from all the crawling in and out, in and out; reminds him of last weekend

There is most likely something in the agreement that deals with the writer’s future work if he is fired or he quits. Plus assuming it isn’t addressed in the contract, if the writer leaves, then that likely means either the writer or Marvel breached the agreement. Then there is an argument that the writer doesn’t have to give Marvel the right to shite even if the writer was the one in the wrong.

See, I knew the answer to any legal question was “Pay me and I’ll find out.”

Unfortunately, I am a lawyer. The enforceability of “Noncompete Clauses” as they are known in the biz vary from state to state – each state has their own rules on what restrictions on future employment don’t violate the constitution, which is funny in its own right. Enforceability depends on the geographic reasonability (throughout the entire world would be too broad, and, for the most part, the “State of California” would also be too broad), time frame (I’ve seen 4 years found enforceable), and the type of business to which the restriction applies. However, it does not appear that what Marvel is doing here is a noncompete clause or a restriction on future employment (though I barely read the post). It is a right of first refusal to PURCHASE any new material these writers create during the first two years after the end of the employment. If Marvel doesn’t buy it, the writers can sell to another shop.