I know this isn’t strictly film related, but the video above is entitled, “Turtle Rape Shoe.” Now, I would interrupt my mother’s funeral to post a video called “Turtle Rape Shoe.” Note to Hollywood: please make a movie called “Turtle Rape Shoe.” I don’t even care if it’s even about Turtle Rape Shoe. Heck, I would’ve sat through The Hours if it had been called “Turtle Rape Shoe.”
UPDATE: Sorry, forgot to add the poster the first time.
[via GorillaMask]
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There’s another film coming out called Frog Donkey Punches Pocket. Pretty sure Sam Mendes is involved.
That’s still only 1/10th the dick of Watchmen.
I am pretty sure there is some Japanese porn already called “Turtle Rape Shoe.” Or possibly, “Turtle-head Rapes Sue,” I can’t understand their accents.
Thats how a Ninja Turtle supposed to take on the Footclan. You hear me Rafael?!? You hear me Leonardo?!? You hear me…um…forgot the other two names….um Nerdy one and Legally Retarded one?!?!
Not to be confused with the new adult reality-show entitled “John Turturro Rapes You.”
That shoe was asking for it. You see how short her laces were?!
Deleted scene from Dana Carvy’s Master of Disguise. “Turtle Turtle Turtle”
Turtle looks like he’s about to show that shoe the secret of the ooze.
Would have been better if it were Turtle Rape Shue.
I expected some spliced scenes from Entourage and Adventures in Babysitting.
Look, I’m into Foot Fetish Amphibious Bestiality Gonzo Porn as much as the next guy but man…this seems to push the envelope.
He’s got a turtle-head pokin’ out.
*chodin enters thread nonchalantly licking thumbs and counting a stack of $1.00 bills*
Turtle Rape Shoe, eh? Alright, who wants to go watch one in T.J.?
I hear Japanese turtles are more into S&M. They all have foot-binding fetishes.
Isn’t that cute? He acts just like a little person. I mean midget. Jeez, what’s the correct term now?
Fact – that was the Hare’s running shoe.
That turtle is going to be so pissed when she gives birth to a snakeskin boot nine months from now.
Nike’s new Air Tyson.
Just me or did anyone else have a quartet rush their barbershop as a child and then have the first guy exude “Turtleeeee….”, then the second went “Rapeeeeee….”, the third harmonized “Shoeeeeee…”, but then the fourth, deep voiced mother fucker finishws with “That haircut blows cock”?
Sock: “Hey Shoe – you ok?”
Shoe: “Nah. I’m pretty fucking far from ok.”
Never seen ‘Turtle Rape Shoe’ before…I’ve watched ‘Turtle Rapes Hoe’ plenty of times, but that’s different because I helped film that one.
Moral: slow and steady wins the rape.
Pauly: “Oh man, I stepped in your mom’s shit, chode!”
Chodin: “Oh shut the fuck up, bitch. At least you don’t have turtle cum in your aqua shoes.”
In Soviet Union, turtle rapes *you.*
I would love to look at turtle cum under a microscope. I bet that shit just sits there on the petri dish, looks up at you, shrugs its shoulders and then climbs on a Sagway to meander about.
A guy finishing up in less than 2 minutes, eh that sounds about right to me.
What about the shoe’s needs dammit!
Turtle Rape Shoes aren’t good for running, but that’s okay because you don’t need to.
Fittingly, this site is as slow as a fucking turtle today.
*members of Timbuk3 sit around in the studio*
“Alright, I think I got it. What if the song goes, ‘Future’s so bright…turtle rape shoe’?”
Mel Gibson’s turtle blames the shoes.
That shoe shouldn’t have been dressed like a slut.
It’s a thematic sequel to Ang Lee’s “Eat Drink Man Woman”