03.23.09 KEVIN SPACEY IS SUPER DUPER NOT GAY

Zac Efron has this book on his coffeetable. However he always has to hide it whenever Vanessa Hudgens or any Disney rep stops by.

Book’s title shoulda been “The Penis Mightier than the Sword.”

Let he who has not been distracted by big penis cast the first load.

The greatest trick the homo ever pulled was convincing the world he wasn’t gay

If people want to read a book about a huge prick, why don’t they just wait for George Bush’s autobiography?

Because crayon is hard to put into print form, Rotwang.

Boy, this post reminds me of the ol’ “Bookmark” trick…and why I’m banned from the library.

On the shelf below is “The Big Book of Coming Out”.

Spacey’s waiting for this to come out in hardcover.

Is that where my fucking book is at?

Moooooom!

Banner Pic: “OOOOH, look at that K-Package!”

I can’t wait for the release of this book all over my face.

I’d yell “Here come tha dickstepper” at Rotty but I’m afraid Kevin Spacey might hear me. Then he’ll want to tell me about the grand Old Vic and how Ordinary Decent Criminal was underrated, and then I’ll have to shoot him in the head and then that’ll bring Wes Bentley out of the woodwork to gawk and then he’ll do all my heroin and I NEED that heroin.

(FYIM)

I have to confess – I bought that book. BUT – just to use the jacket to hid my Penthouse collection in. Now my wife won’t think I’m a pervert.

Wait until he sees the pop-up version.

K-Pax blew, so does Kevin.

Borders Clerk: “Would you like me to put the book in a bag?”

Spacey: “No, I’ll just carry it out in my mouth.”

I have to confess – I also bought that book. BUT – just to spank it to.

Vince isn’t in the Big Penis Book. It’s in him.

Why would any dude want to look at a book of big penises? What a gaywad.

Kevin is especially enamored with Chapter 13″-Blue Veined Throbbers.

This book was published on Nantucket.

If they put this book in a window display in my town, the window would get smashed and the book would be stolen to…uh….keep the public from viewing it… yeah.

If my penis was put in literary form, it wouldn’t even fill up the space of a Bazooka wrapper. :-(

Chapter 6 captivated me, Cocks Shaped Like a ?

Spacey was only looking at the book because he wrote the foreword.

Now THIS is what I call a graphic novel.

I am working on the companion piece, Gigantic Vagina Novel.

I’ve got the ‘Book of Big Vaginas’. It’s a duffel bag that I keep my other books in.

Call it penis envy or whatever, but I like to think that the only kind of women that would like a dick that big are Nags.

*pulls pants away from waist, looks down with dismay, begins crying, eats cupcake*

Here come da dickstepp– Oh god damn it. NO, Wes Bentley. That’s MY heroin. Leave it alone.

Me say no dickstep, mon. Da times dey was da same. WORD ‘EM UP!

The pages of this book stick themselves together.

[winks at oneSo in accordance with rule #7 of the CJC]

This book loses alot when put to audio tape. But having Morgan Freeman reading it was a boon.

*wink*

Yeah well, I’d rather have six pack abs a relatively flat stomach and my penis instead of an elephant trunk cock and hippo’s ass of a gut.

Is that dude pregnant?

Is Diedrich Bader his boy toy?

Much to Kevin’s dismay, the book contains photos of fat guys named Richard.

Well, JHC, you just definitively proven you’re straight by noticing that he even has a stomach.

gnu hup!

Are you Kaiser So Gay?!!

Why yes!!! (jazz hands)

Please don’t let that be a pop-up book.

Spacey, finally noticing his friend’s snazzy jacket: “Haha! I love you, Patches.”

(shout out to ma homeez Michelle07 and Rutger H. Word, dawgz)

I imagine Kevin Spacey seeing this and humming DonMcLean’s American Pie: “Did you write the book of love? Oh yes, you did.”

Derrial Book of Firefly likes to carry this around to boost his confidence. “Hey, that’s a big penis, Book”, he would overhear people say.