Following up on this morning’s story about Joaquer Texas Rapper diving into the crowd at his concert in Miami last night, here’s the video. Is that Jerry Lawler down there? I can’t tell.
Adds commenter 6waysfromsunday (and I have no reason to disbelieve an internet handle and avatar): “I live in Miami and a couple of my friends went to this. They said it was TOTALLY FAKE. For one, Joaquin went after a girl. Secondly, when he got to her he just waited for the bouncers to obscure the audiences view of them fake fighting. And the MC was joking about it. Third, Affleck didn’t even get involved. Just kept taping and giggling. GIGGLING THAT HIS BROTHER AND LAW WAS CHRIS BROWING SOME HOTTY.”
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“Don’t eat pork–not even with a fork!” The Rappin’ Rabbi.
I live in Miami and a couple of my friends went to this. They said it was TOTALLY FAKE. For one, Joaquin went after a girl. Secondly, when he got to her he just waited for the bouncers to obscure the audiences view of them fake fighting. And the MC was joking about it. Third, Affleck didn’t even get involved. Just kept taping and giggling. GIGGLING THAT HIS BROTHER AND LAW WAS CHRIS BROWING SOME HOTTY. All in all…when does a practical joke stop being practical or a joke? Riiiiiight about…now.
Joaquin should takes lessons from Matt Damon and Jimmy Kimmel if he wants to see how to pull a true Kaufman.
Joaquin and Chris Brown should fight over who gets to be this generation’s Ike Turner.
Does he think a ratty beard and illegible lyrics is what actual black rappers do? I can’t remember the last rapper with a Grizzly Adams beard.
Jay Z, Kanye, Outkast, T.I. Lil’ Wayne, Busta Rhymes, Diddy, none of them got a Cuo Cuo man beard.
Its like his rapping gimmick is MC Homeless Vet or DJ 10 Year Mental Patient.
Oh, I didn’t know Ryan McPherson got out of jail.
He didn’t appreciate them giving him lip.
Joaquin’s rap moniker is “The Tune-A Bomber.”
He looks worried about the sensation of a frog eating his brain.
What a harey situation!
Wycleft Jean
Joaquin’s top lips have a east coast/west coast beef going on. They just can’t seem to meet in the middle.
Joliet Jake Blues has really let himself go.
I like…big…BAGS…full of heroin!
Follow that with an eighth of Gin!
You otherdruggies countdown from ten!
Thats when I’ll pass this bong again!
Alcoholics-don’t-know-shit
until-they-try-smack-bitch!
You…y-you…you–
(Joaquin thows up in his mouth a little bit and passes out)
At least Michael McKean and Christopher Guest had the decency to make up new names for their fake documentaries.
Harey, Harey, why ya buggin’??
Never trust a split lip and a smile…
I wonder what Casey Affleck will call this documentary on the end of Joaquin’s career?
The Assassination of Joaquin Phoenix?
No wait…its so obvious…..Gone Baby Gone.
He had better get out of that angry crowd lippity split!!!
Some possible titles for the doc:
Rap Around the Clock
Midnight Rap Boy
It’s a Rap Rap Rap Rap World
Rappy Gilmore
@Chinomoreno
Never trust a split lip and a smile
I think only me and you got that one…still funny.
Michelle would have gotten it…where oh where is she??
I’M HERE I’M HERE. And just in time. Phew.
Phew! I almost needed a bodybag! LOL!!
Never trust a split lip and a smile . . .
That boy is Joaaaaaaaaquinnnnnn . . .
WORD UP JOAQ!
(they do still say that don’t they?)