FilmDrunkard Chodin was able to catch an early screening of I Love You, Man a while back, and was kind enough to write a review.  Why am I posting his and not that thing you emailed me from three months ago?  Probably because he’s funnier than you.  Sorry, I know the truth hurts, fattie. Again, to reiterate, I, Vince FilmDrunk, did not write the review below.

Really!? A Funny Movie Without Dane Cook In It: A Film Drunkard Review

Remember the last time you watched a decent movie? I know bro, Tootsie was soooo f–king long ago! Really though, right when I’m up on a stool in my closet, getting ready to hang myself using an Old Navy, khaki belt, I get invited to a screening of a movie that doesn’t leave you feeling as if a feral ostrich just sucked your dick [Editor’s Note: I don’t necessarily see why that would be a negative]. The oasis in this desert of Hollywood sh-ttiness I speak of is I Love You, Man , from writer/director John Hamburg.

I Love You, Man stars Paul Rudd in a “romantic comedy” about a soon-to-be married guy who comes to realize that he doesn’t have any male friends. To save further explanation, he’s “that guy”, the dude always hanging out with his girlfriend and her friends; friends who are always wondering when the f-ck the girls can have a night alone to talk about deep-dick pizzas and cervix douching.

As the wedding draws nearer, Rudd’s character becomes more and more desperate to find a decent best man, all while attempting to sell the estate of Lou “The Incredible Hulk” Ferrigno. Rudd attends a series of man-dates, eventually finding an accidental friend in a stranger (Jason Segel) who attends an open house at the Ferrigno estate. It’s at this point in the movie that an invisible hose extends from your theater seat and milks the funny from your anus. The moment Jason Segel’s character comes into play, it’s literally two hours of nothing but pure entertainment.

Soon, the two friends build an invincible friendship with fish tacos and Rush songs (no, really), a friendship so fortified that it actually begins to come between the groom-to-be and his fiancé. With the wedding even closer now, an annoyed soon-to-be bride and a furious Lou Ferrigno, the climax apexes when Rudd and Segel decide to break up as best friends; don’t worry though, in the middle of the wedding, the best friend shows up and everyone says what they’re truly feeling, all while standing up at the altar. The End.

Not gonna’ lie, at first I really thought this movie was going suck sh-t, like I honestly thought this thing was going to say “F-ck All Ya’ll” and then destroy its audience…but it never did. Writer/director John Hamburg (“Undeclared”, “Stella”, Along Came Polly) takes a “romantic comedy” plot and manages to impregnate it with dirty humor so that all the fellas out there will enjoy it, but also their girlfriends can still giggle as they perform fellatio in the back row. The story arc is nothing new, but it’s presented in a way that is truly fresh and original.

The cast, as I mentioned, features the awesome Paul Rudd and Jason Segel, along with a plethora of comedians/actors who make you sh-t your pants and exclaim, “Oh f–k, it’s THAT guy from THAT one show!”. If you’re a local here at the FilmDrunk oat mill, you may recall a video of Lou Ferrigno choking out Jason Segel from a while back, well this is “that flick” and to be honest, ol’ Lou-bear does a pretty decent acting job for a… well, for a deaf guy (no really, the f–cker is deaf).

Mind you I attended an early screening, so I’m sure the film will be tightened up before the release. Hopefully the first 15-minutes (post Jason Segel) are shortened up, but honestly this movie is a ride well worth it, regardless. You leave the theater feeling like you would have paid twice as much to attend…but not me, I got to go to the thing for free. What can I say, “I’m kind of a big deal, I blow people”.

* pantomimes holding c-ck, pokes tongue in cheek *

[Editor's Note: I don't know what grade that equals, but I'm guessing either B+ or A-]