Here’s a rundown of some of today’s “other” stories

  • Everyone’s reporting that Will and Jaden Smith‘s Karate Kid remake will be called Kung Fu Kid, even though this news is old as hell.  And anyway, it seems like something you’d infer based on the film starring Jackie Chan and being shot in China.  Meanwhile, I’m writing a script in which Joe Son plays the Miyagi character.  I call it Gun Rape Kid. [3newsNewZealand]
  • New Star Trek poster, same lame, generic tagline (“The Future Begins”). [Below]
  • Emma Stone is a slut. Bong.  And by that I mean she’s signed up for Easy A, a reimagining of Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter set in high school.  Too bad it’s being shot by Screen Gems, which means it’s either (A) going straight to DVD or (B) involves vampires, aliens, zombies, or vampire alien zombies. [Variety]
  • Richard Linklater is trying to find a distributor for his “spiritual sequel” to Dazed and Confused. Says Linklater, “It’s tough. It’s not a tentpole, sequel, remake, or over-the-top comedy. The studios have kind of admitted they’re not in the business of doing anything else. The slightest level of irony or intelligence and, boom, you’re done.”  A Fox exec responded “Haha, ‘Fah-Q’ – I just got that,” and tripped over the curb.  [EW]
  • This is a supposedly hilarious script called Balls Out which the writers, who call themselves The Robotard 8000, claim their agents refused to send out, so they’ve posted it online.  I’m gonna read it while I poop.[Robotard8000 (via cinematical)]
  • Some talk show host no one’s heard of insulted Canada and Canadians are all pissed and indignant, especially about all the famous comedians who everyone forgets are from Canada.  Wait, you want us to thank you for Mike Myers now? [NationalPost]