GRR, KOREAN VAMPIRES!
03.16.09
Ladies always look like this when I have sex with them. “Why me?” they shout.
Old Boy director Chan-Wook Park has a movie about a vampire priest coming out in May called Thirst. You can watch the trailer below. I can’t understand it because it’s all in Korean, but I think it’s safe to say Park’s vampires won’t be abstinent pussies like Twilight‘s been trying to sell us. Oh hi, Bella. I already owe my soul to Satan, so it makes complete sense that I’d never kill people or have sex or use any of my awesome superpowers. The only thing that would make this better is if at the end Wesley Snipes burst in and killed everyone with a samurai sword.
[via CHUD]
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This movie is going to suck.
LOL!!!
You can always tell when your church is run by a vampire priest by checking how much sacramental wine they go through month-by-month.
Pedos and vamps and homos! Oh MY!
The chick in the banner photo is cruelly mocking Ryan Gosling’s dog.
10% of blood sucked goes right into the church coffers.
Maybe rinsing with blood is the only sure way to get rid of kimche breath.
His next movie, also about sucking, is Durst.
/Ah, corner, I’ve missed you.
Sean Lennon’s put on some weight.
Instead of a stake, Korean vampires can be killed with your choice of chicken or pork.
Kim Jong Ilestat.
Wesley Snipes thinks that vampire be Kim Jong Illin’.
Korean vampires have no Seoul.
No dogs are allowed in Chan Wook Park.
Damn you Burnsy, get out of my head (and into my car).
Korean Vampires say “Ablacadabla” to turn into a bat.
“No dogs are allowed in Chan Wook Park.”
Except on the BBQ grills.
The vampire priest is named Reverend Afraid-of-the-Sun Myung Moon.
Korean Vampires will sell you blood oranges.
Q: What does a vampire priest call a caucasian stigmatic?
A: Miracle whip on white.
Korean vampires sound like frat boys when they’re trying to talk.
“Brah, brah”
Aerosmith is doing the soundtrack “wok this way”
A Korean vampire will have sex with you but cannot go south.
I’m not watching that movie if they speak Vampire in it the whole time. What’s wrong with English?
I’M STILL REELING FROM THE LAST COREY-AN VAMP FLICK…
Korean Vampires are petrified by traffic lights.
Korean Vampires only come out at night because they are studying during the day.
WAIT, DON’T MOST NORTH KORANS NEED TO SNEAK OUT AT NIGHT TO FIND FOOD ANYWAY?