FAST & FURIOUS GPS SYSTEM!
03.25.09
Car wheelies are the money shots of car porn
Grease up your gearshift, sailor, because I’ve got a brand new 4 Fast 4 Furious clip after the jump. This one focuses mainly on… uh… the GPS system? Seriously, this sh-t is weird. I’d be all for a stupid movie about cars and car racing, but this isn’t even well made. 70% of this clip is made up of shots of Vin Diesel and Paul Walker looking constipated or closeups of their feet pressing the pedals or their hands shifting. So exciting! And the one crash they do show looks like it was filmed at about 10 miles per hour. Reached for comment, director Justin Lin said, “Don’t screech the tires! I have to take those back to Costco later!”
[via empire]
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Paul and Vin were racing to the video store to get the last copy of Dawson’s 50 Load Weekend.
It’s not about laundry.
Paul Walker: GPS…huhhh…could you uhhhh… spell that for me?
When asked about that GPS system, Vin proudly stated, “She’s a talker”.
You can tell this movie isn’t made for the NASCAR crowd because the route is made up entirely of right turns.
…at least according to Vin Diesel.
The real reason that car would do a wheelie is because it’s moving so fast that the light from it’s headlights is acting like two fingers in your nose from behind while you’re attempting to flee. Idiots should learn physics.
Saying, “Grease up your gearshift, sailor,” is exactly why my back alley free clinic got shut down by the city.
Cars are like dipshits who give you piggy-back rides everywhere.
The voice in Vin Diesel’s GPS is his agent’s saying, “That’s it, I quit.”
Vin Diesel offered to grease up my gearshift, so I threw him my keys and a can of Turtle Wax and thanked him. I’ve never seen a smile melt off someone’s face quicker.
I gotta be honest, I’d rather watch ‘Death Race’ on repeat while Mickey Rourke had a fireman party with my wife than see another Fast & Furious movie.
Fast & Furious should be about that time I got duped into doing lent last year.
“Hi, I’m Vin Diesel and I am a human sloth.”
@nom–fuck, you stole the Yom Kippur joke I never thought of.
Are there close-ups of tail pipes shooting out fire? I’m not watching the trailer if there isn’t.
I guess in this one Vin lives his life 20 quarter miles at a time.
Dude has a big head–he would win if he and the cranium took the HOV lane.
New up.
Maybe the hook is geocaching this time. That GPS might lead them to the the golf ball my gramgram hid in St. George, Utah.
*sprays WD-40 all over his asshole*
I’m ready.
Paul: A lot has changed.
Vin’s Cut Dialog: What? Are you saying lines from another movie?
Paul(Nervously looking around): We…have to go…into the blue.
Paul’s head spins around and sparks shoot out of his neck
Vin(Sighs): Justin…its shortcircuiting again.
Even with a GPS system this movie still has no fucking direction.
When I took driver’s ed, the teacher would say the best way to learn how to drive is to watch someone’s foot of the pedals. He’d tell me “go ahead get down in the floorboard and get real close.”
I learned a lot that summer, but I never learned how to drive.
Talking GPS, dancing virtual girl, giant yellow arrows, etc. I’m surprised they aren’t driving with PS3 controllers.