Most horror movies are just a mash-up of lame clichés. Drag Me to Hell, Sam Raimi’s first directing effort since the Spider-Man trilogy, comes from a cliché that might just be old enough to seem fresh again. Poor old lady needs help, protagonist fails to help her, old lady turns out to be a demon and drags her to hell. Or maybe in the story I’m thinking of, the old lady turns out to be Jesus. Or was it a genie? F-ck, I can never remember keep this religious stuff straight.
The girl is Allison Lohman, yes that was Justin Long, and no, I have no idea what the hell that was. Opens May 29th.
[via BloodyGoodHorror]
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/imacyborgbutthatsok-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/if-you-liked-the-wolf-of-wall-street-youll-love-the-wolves-of-wall-street-starring-eric-roberts-filmdrunk-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/Marilyn-Monroe-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/michael-cera-plays-a-weird-fruity-psycho-in-magic-magic-filmdrunk-150x150.jpg)
Is this another zom-rom-com?
Sounds eerily familiar to: I met a hot young chick, married her, she turned out to be the devil then she dragged me to work.
They should have to pay me for the rights.
Drag me to hell is what I tell my wife when she forces me to go to the in-laws’ house for Christmas.
after watching that, i think i want a mac, not a pc
This better star Bruce Campbell with more screen time than a f’n waiter or usher.
she must have been one of those sub-prime people that helped fuck the economy. If you’re gonna go to hell just for refusing some old bat a mortgage extension you might as well go the whole hog and rape her. I learned that in business school.
and how come she needs an extension on the mortgage when she lives in hell? I guess getting ass fucked isn’t just limited to this life.
I understand the path they travel was paved with good intentions.
Sam Raimi doesn’t deserve to direct “Charley the ‘Tard Cat 2-Special Needs Pussy” after that shit storm that was Spider-Man 3.
here i always thought the floating point percentage loans was the work of the devil. looks like the bank is the greater evil after all.
Can you find the trailer that includes the musical number?
A girl cursed me once, but I told my girlfriend I got it from a public restroom.
I would curse a bitch if I had a staple in my forehead too.
I curssssssssse you… with a 30-year fixed rate mortgage.
So this movie is a mix between Dante Alighierie’s ‘Inferno’ and ‘Priscilla, Queen of the Desert’, right?
Wright?! WRITE?!?!
This movie looks so realistic that my zipper opened by itself when the old lady fell to her knees.
The last time I refinanced, I had a choice between the “Sodomize My Colon” and the “Drag Me to Hell” plans. Luckily, I was able to pay a point and a half, which qualified me for the “Pry Up My Fingernails” plan.
I know “what the hell that was”, it’s the Metz drinking Judderman.
[www.youtube.com]
It may seem backwards, but watching this is the only way to atone for having seen ‘Confessions of a Shopaholic’.
Justin Long in bed with Alison Lohman??? WTF??? God is cruel and doesn’t exists. Proven!
See what happens when the stimulus package isn’t approved.
Tyler Perry’s gonna be pissed. “Doo-Rag Me To Hell” was this close to being green lit.
“Sign there, sign there, initial here, sign there, recite “Klaatu Barada Nikto” here, and you’re good to go. Congrats on your new mortgage ma’am!”
This is exactly why I only help old ladies halfway across the street.
When Justin Long went to bed with Drew Barrymore it played a lot like the old lady in the bed scene.
“Waah, why me? I was only following orders!”
Didn’t work at the Nuremberg trials either, bitch.
“I can make the tough decisions!”
“Really? Well how ’bout you decide to tweezer those fuckin’ eyebrows, then we can talk.”
Sweet Jeebus I crapped me pants…no wait..it’s chocolate.
I like Allison Lohman..she kinda hot and innocent at the same time. doing her would be like raping a kitten.
What? Why are you looking at me like that?
Oh this? It’s nothing.
/throws away dead cat
/zips up pants