Birthday Dog looks at the camera because Birthday Dog is a f*cking professional.
Over the weekend, the NY Times ran a feature on “The Fempire,” accompanied by the headline “An Entourage of their own.” The group of Hollywood power womyn in questions? Why, Diablo Cody and three chicks you’ve never heard of, of course.
Lorene Scafaria [who co-wrote Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist] and Diablo Cody are usually not a duo, but half of a quartet. With their pals Dana Fox, who wrote “What Happens in Vegas,” and Liz Meriwether, a playwright-turned-screenwriter, they make up a Hollywood powerhouse writing posse who call themselves “The Fempire.”
The Fempire’s solid front — all four wear the same gold necklaces with tiny heart pendants inscribed with words that can’t be printed here, gifts from Ms. Cody — seems to make some men nervous and envious at the same time.
You can find them at work in their Laurel Canyon homes in their pajamas, or sitting next to one another at laptop-friendly restaurants. To see them gathered amid the dinosaur topiary around Ms. Fox’s swimming pool with their dogs (they all have dogs) is to see four distinct styles of glamour that bear little resemblance to traditional images of behind-the-scenes talent.
…
Don’t even try to credit their bankability to their looks. “When you read a screenplay, it doesn’t come with a picture on the cover,” said Adam Siegel, president of Marc Platt Productions, a producer who is friends with all four women.
The totally not-condescending article then goes on to compare them to Entourage and the Apatow posse, and it’s all very empowering, because it communicates the message that girls can indeed do many of the things boys can do. *Spice girls pose*



I never thought I’d see the day where I would utter these words.
I wouldn’t watch these women fuck each other.
I read “fempire” and my dick threw up.
Apparently Fempires can’t see themselves in the mirror either.
I’d watch Birthday Dog have his way with the hot one. You know, the one that looks like a chihuahua.
Fempires are women who suck, right?
Entourage stars four douche bags, this “posse” has four douche bags.
This is exactly what Queensryche was trying to warn us about.
The bad news: The Fempire is more powerful than you realize.
The good news: death by snu-snu.
Donk – +189234 for the Queensryche reference.
You and my AK47 are my best friends.
Adam Siegel will say anything to get laid.
What’s the over/under on how many of them have stuck Diablo’s Oscar in their canals?
girls can indeed do many of the things boys can do.
I bet they can’t suck dick as well as the boys from Entourage.
They swap their dogs every weekend to see which one licks peanut butter the best.
“Don’t even try to credit their bankability to their looks.”
Especially the one that looks like Dana Carvey in drag.
After their periods synched up, their assistants started refering to them as, “The 16 lips and 5 days of hell.”
Girls everywhere should definitely think about femploying their tactics to femulate their success. Just know, you can write good stuff without trying to femasculate men. You drive off all the guys and it will leave your lives hollow and fempty.
2 Hipsters, a wannabe, and the writer of “What happens in Vegas”
This Fempire has about as much clout as Napoleon on Elba
New York magazine said the inscriptions on the necklaces say “Fuck My Face”
Good to know they all remember how they made it in this industry.
The Queensryche ref was good, but pulling snu-snu out of his ass was batter.
New York magazine said the inscriptions on the necklaces say “Fuck My Face”
Their matching braclets finish the phrase:
“… is ugly”
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK eeeeeeee
Bet they buy Activia by the case.
Banner Pic title: Dog Pile.
They should team up and write a script about making me a sandwich…Right now, bitch.
The Fempire thrives on Ben and Jerry’s and The Smiths on vinyl.
and strap-ons
I know us men are fucked, look at them, they wreak of power, all flopped out on a bed in a over dressed fuck puddle hugging pillows and laughing like they all just took a hit of rush. Color me petrified.
I’ll wager between the four of them you could harvest more crabs then you get in a whole season of Deadliest Catch.
Don’t even try to credit their bankability to their looks.
Unless that bank is Merrill Lynch.
I dunno Crappy, they strike me as a pile that could mouth your cock pretty well to avoid actually having sex with you.
True orcla, Diablo was a stripper, if you can point me to a stripper that won’t suck a dick for a $5 line of blow, I’ll suck you off.
I wish I could throw all of them on a fem-pyre.
[pulls handle on side of chair, shoots through ceiling]
*Points to a can of CMA Strip-It-Dry automotive paint stripper, points to crotch*
Strip. It. Dry.
$5 line of blow? Crappy, what kind of strippers do you know? All you’ve gotta do is tell them its blow (and make sure they smoke your pole before snorting it). The cost? A less than $0.01 line of powdered sugar.
Diablo Cody chose “Fempire” after no one got her original name, “Felawful”, named after her favorite fried chick pea dish.
Crapbasket: either way I’m getting head.
Diablo Cody’s signature stripper move was the “I’m not attractive but I’m willing to rub against your erection for only $1 per minute”
So let me get this straight; the women who made Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist (fucking awful), Juno (boring, not funny and pretentious) and What Happens in Vegas (haven’t seen it for fear of self-inflicted violence) are a “fempire”?
I guess it doesn’t take much to get shitheads together and call it a “posse” these days.
The only thing keeping that picture from being an advertisement for tampons is that none of them are black or asian.
Just be careful when buying their scripts. Their motto is “Caveat Femptor”.
I guess it doesn’t take much to get shitheads together and call it a “posse” these days.
It’s a “pusse”. Don’t make them mad!
[plummets back through roof, lands in chair, sporting a ketchup stain on shirt that looks like Sweet Mary Mother of Fucking Jesus]
More like Fugpire.
Fempire.
Back.Spike Lee is pissed because….. well, cuz he’s an asshole.
Hello, I’m here to break up the commenting sausagefest.
A woman wrote “What Happens In Vegas”? On behalf of all women who use words, I apologize.
This “fempire” needs to be tore up from the floor up. Foshizz, homeskillet.
*shoots self in the face*
I’m thinking of a word that starts with C and ends with UNTS.
You have no idea what it’s like to be a fembot pretending to be a femputer in a manbot’s manputer world.
Banner pic:
“One … two … three … QUEEF!”
“Oops, I think I followed through! Haha!”
“Ew, it smells like Kevin Spacey! Hahaha!”
being a traditionalist i have to say the tried and true method of sucking cock to climb any corporate ladder is foolproof…..if it isn’t broke, don’t fix it…
fucking fempire, fuck off.
The Fempire gets courtside seats to WNBA games.
the fempire fills out NCAA brackets….for the women’s tournament. eww
[theworldisretarded.wordpress.com]
The Fempire actually clicks on links posted by faceless lurkers.
When fempires fembrace, the mooncup fempties.
The Fempire femblem is fembossed.
The Fempire needs a good disfembowelling.
(not that I condone violence against women. Just pretentious fucksticks in general)
The next addition Fempire?
Lady rapper Feminem.
Hard to believe the fempire keeps finding femployment.
If the Fempire thinks its so great, they should prove it by fighting a rapid wolverine-unarmed.
Whoever wins, I’ll be impressed
Surely a “rabid” wolverine would be a more worthy foe.
The Fempire has douched the fembers of my soul.
“A noble spirit fembiggens the smallest woman.”
-Jebediah Springfield, vandalized by Diablo Cody
But if you take off Wolverine’s arms, he doesn’t have the knife hands. Thus all he has is his healing factor. So if you’ve learned anything from Heroes, you just have to go for the neck. Alls it takes is a pen or a sharpened stick.
The only thing I learned from Heroes was to stop watching Heroes.
It’s a lesson I now live my life by.
The Fempire is going to get Michelle Buffer to femcee all of their events.
thanks GWuLLaT, I suck.
and Beeks, I suppose that would be the case…
She’s feminent in her field, right?
I here Rouge Against the Machine is releasing a new album, The Evil Fempire
and by here I mean hear. God fucking dammit, why am I still at work at quarter to 7…
It’s okay, Rock, we ALL suck in our own special way.
Mine is “sucking the life out of parties”.
Thumb guy — “Don’t stick your car keys in an electrical outlet” is a more important lesson by far. And one I learned firsthand.
GWuLLaT, as long as it ain’t dick, we’re friends
Learning safety tips AND making new friends? This is just like special school all over again!
Weeee!
Diablo should proclaim herself “Femperor Cody”, then storm Skywalker Ranch and kick George Lucas in his shrunken scrotal sack.
My friend Emily is a screenwriter in Hollywood. She wants to join the Fempire, but they said she has to change her name to Femily.
The four of them are co-writing a screenplay about an ultra-feminist who goes back in time. The Feminator
The motto of the women in the Marine Corps is “Femper Si!”
When they inevitably conquer the world, they’ll be known as the Noman Fempire.
Do they consider themselves “fartists”?
Birthday Dog knows that bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks.
If you listen real careful, you can hear every other successful woman in Hollywood facepalm in unison as they read this story.
“When you read a screenplay, it doesn’t come with a picture on the cover”
At Fox they do. And on the other 12 pages, too.
The Fempire founded by the Syph.
Cody’s Syph title is Cunt Dookie.
Doesn’t this bitch know she’s in the wrong foreskindustry?
the fempire’s next project: “the fempire strikes back” wherein they try to invigorate the destroyed crumbling carcass of “the deathstar jones”
I’m female and I do not approve this message. This forced woman power thing makes my vagina cry (and not tears of blood you sick fucks). The tears of infinite sadness.
Its good to recognize women in their fields, but this sort of shit makes me sick. They all have dogs huh…I’m sure there was a story posted recently that involved a dog…and a woman. Should I be proud of that one too?
this article reminded me of that “South Park” episode where Mr. Garrison has a sex change, does a bunch o dumb shit as a woman and screams “Girl Power!” all the time.
except all the crap he pulled was actually smarter than all of these morons’ movies put together.
but hey, at least we know Garth from “Wayne’s World” has a job and is taken care of nowadays!