COEN BROTHERS ADAPTING ‘TRUE GRIT’
03.23.09
We are the Co-en Bro-thers… don’t get a-long with o-thers…
The ever-prolific Coen Brothers are set to adapt True Grit, the 1968 Charles Portis novel that already spawned a film adaptation for which John Wayne won an Oscar in 1969.
Not a traditional remake, the Paramount film will be more faithful to the Charles Portis book than the 1969 pic. Portis’ novel is about a 14-year-old girl who, along with an aging U.S. marshal and another lawman, tracks her father’s killer in hostile Indian territory. But while the original film was a showcase for Wayne, the Coens’ version will tell the tale from the girl’s p.o.v.
Portis’ book has been described as “Like Cormac McCarthy, but funny.” It was also announced recently that Greg Mottola and Bill Hader are adapting another Portis novel, Dog of the South. Reached for comment, Portis said, “No, it’s great that you’re only just now discovering me, that’s awesome. No really. Heck, I’m only 75. Yup, nothing but silk Depends and extra-virgin prune juice for yours truly. Assholes.”
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“Focusing on the 14-year-old girl? This is the best news since the McGriddle.”–George Lucas
Not to be confused with the other new movie from a 14yr-old girl’s POV, Grew Tit.
No what kind of tree for old men?
True grits be hominy.
That picture could be used for the pamphlets handed out at neighborhood Pedophile Watch meetings.
Two lawman and a 14-year old. Is this supposed to sound sexy?
To update the theme on the hostile Indian territory, the entire film will take place inside a convenience store.
“Hostile Indian Territory” is what I call our IT department.
Dammit, I’ve been Donked.
You can tell just by the glasses and facial hair which one is the brooding, artsy Coen and which one is the philosophical, thinking man’s Coen.
I almost went that way, Rotty.
The hostile Indians would be fine if that little girl would just dance for the crowd.
Donk, I have a feeling you’ve gone a lot of different ways.
Instead of fighting with the hostile Indians, the lead characters will use bottles of Mad Dog 20/20 and casino vouchers in hopes of a peaceful passing.
“Dammit, I’ve been Donked” is what many Mexican girls in the entertainment business think on a nightly basis.
I’m looking at that banner picture and trying to decide which one I’d fuck if he went tranny. Thanks a lot Wachowskis…
From my experience, “Girls’ P.O.V.” movies aren’t nearly as popular. I think it’s all the hair at eye level that’s most bothersome.
I can hardly wait to see Frances McDormand play a 14 year old girl.
Girls P.O.V., so she’s looking out the kitchen window washing dishes and becoming flustered about getting the roast in the oven by noon?
Girls P.O.V., face down ass up?
*heads to corner out of shame*
A girls P.O.V. is whatever her husband tells her it is.
Oh, a Woman’s POV! So the movie will always be right.
Some girl’s P.O.V. is through two black eyes because she had to be told twice.
If TV commercials have taught me anything, it’s that from a girls P.O.V using a swifter duster is fun and nothing bonds them together like menstrual cramps.
My girl’s POV is through tears as I tell her she’s fat to motivate her to lose weight.
You guys are missing the big one. “Hostile Indian Territory” is inside the cardboard hut where that Slumdog kid’s father will beat you senseless.
If this is filmed through a 14 year old girl’s POV, does that mean the lead characters will be played by the Jonas Brothers?
A girl’s P.O.V. on driving it that it is a perfect time to multitask, you can put on mascara, file your fingernails, or read that Cosmo article 99 Ways to Jack Off Your Man.
A woman’s POV means she’ll understand things when they’re explained the first time.
Does she get sand in her snatch? Why True Grit?
B.K., I’ve gotta say that you’re previous comment matched with your profile pic is perfect.
My whorex’s P.O.V. was that fucking random dudes in my bad while I worked to pay the rent was cool.
Bitch whore cunt CUUUUUNNNNTTTT!!!!
My POV doesn’t matter.
The Coen Brothers’ mother is still hoping they’ll finish law school someday. She wants them to have something to fall back on.
I see you can’t spell when you’re angry.
My girl’s P.O.V. is that her asshole is not a playground.
From a woman’s POV my cock looks HUGE!
Because they’re looking through a magnifying glass.
A 14-year old girl’s POV is praying for a date to the dance and practicing kissing on a mirror.
Er, uh, or so I’ve been told.
I’m fairly sure I can’t spell at all.
Come now, we all know a girl’s P.O.V. is through a glass ceiling.
A girl’s POV is not knowing that I’m in the tree outside her window with binoculars and my pants down.
Forrest Whittaker’s POV is also called water refraction.
Forrest Wittaker’s P.O.V. is stuck in wide screen format.
A girl’s P.O.V. is that spending $300 on a pair of shoes is reasonable but $60 for the UFC fight is redorkulous.
The last confrontation I had with hostile Indians was when I was card counting at their blackjack table.
Oh, and I had a 14 year old girl tied up in the trunk. But I left her an “InStyle” magazine and a flashlight, because I was sensitive to her needs.
Most girls’ P.O.V. on queefing is that it is embarrassing, but I think it’s awesome.
New up, 14 year old girl viewers.
New up, more mysogyny to come!
From now on, every post needs to have a NoFX reference in it
“This is what happens when you fuck a 14 year old girl in the ass!”
nice nofx quote
Dog of the South is the heartwarming story of Toby the beagle and his owner Michelle, who overcome society’s pressure and ignorance in their search for true love.
Coen Brother number two here looks like Admiral Adama in his heyday.