03.31.09 CHRISTIAN FUNDI DANCE MOVIE IS TERRIFYING
The one good thing about psychotic fundementalist Christians is that they make hilariously terrible movies for each other. Below, you can watch the trailer for C Me Dance (”A dance that shines through darkness”), which, as you can imagine, is basically Step Up 2 the Streets for people who love fetuses. Just like in Hollywood, the protagonist has to win the dance competition to pay for a relative’s operation. Only this time it’s not greedy developers she has to contend with, it’s… SATAN! Oh hey, and did I mention there’s a random split-second shot of Jesus being nailed to the cross spliced in there? Because of course there is. Fundie movies without Jesus being nailed to the cross are like french fries without salt.
[hat tip: videogum]
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There are 82 comments about:
CHRISTIAN FUNDI DANCE MOVIE IS TERRIFYING
You ever dance with the devil by the pale moonlight?
Yes. Yes I have.
I think we’re on the same period cycle.
I used to be on my church’s dance team.
It was pretty lame. All we did was lay prostrate for ten minutes to the music of Stryper.
Our choreographer was not very good.
C Me Dance
F you, man.
Kirk Cameron saw this trailer and made a farting noise with his mouth followed up by three wanks.
If that relative’s operation were an abortion this could have played Sundance.
“…are like rape without the giggling.”
Uncle Ron changed my life when I was 6 and in my fundies.
C Me Dance narrowly beat out the title
Breakin 2 Christian Boogaloo.
I mean it only won by like a cunt hair.
These dancers should all do “The Rapture Dance”
It is an easy dance.
Step 1) Leave.
They’re already printing out promotional t-shirts for this film. They’ll read “Dance like nobody is watching (except for Jesus).”
Ironically enough, The Mighty Feklahr prefers His fundies with salt as well.
Awww shake shake shake
Shake shake shake
Shake the demons out.
So do the fundies finally prove the world is flat by tap dancing off the edge? How about proving evolution wrong by successfully mating with a chimpanzee?
Wouldn’t be a fundie thread w/o The Mighty One making cannibal jokes, now would it?
Lince, tell Him now: Go off on this, or keep it cool? The Mighty Feklahr will default to “keep it cool” if you don’t respond, but He will couple it with fat chick jokes and intergalactic racism.
WHA HA HA! Did you see that fat Romulan chick He smurfed??? She looked like battered and fried targ after that! BOOSH!
They had to change the entire soundtrack once the finally realized that Kris Kross isn’t religious music.
Get it? Because Romulans like fried targ, gahmelon, and baktag drank! Dor sho gha!
I think Jennifer Beals successfully mated with a chimpanzee in Flashdance. At least that’s how I choose to remember it.
Don’t even get Him started on the Spoonhead Cardies! You gotta roll their women around in flour and qovlpath the wet spot!!!
I like to think Travis the chimpanzee was just trying to mate with Charla Nash and was performing a new mating ritual.
What? Too soon?
Ummm…The devil was Arnold Schwartzenegger’s stunt man in Collateral Damage? Didn’t see that coming.
The Mighty Feklahr’s fave scene from this movie is where they hold a mountaintop awakening, find fossils of sea life, and proclaim it as evidence for the Noah’s Ark flood! BONG!!!
Gary Busey eats fundies for breakfast.
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