03.18.09 LADY DOG F–KER GETS ARRESTED :-(
Michelle Owen of Indiana was worried that her boyfriend had used her computer to search for child porn [note to FBI word search computer: these are not the droids you're looking for]. So like any responsible citizen dating a suspected child molester, she took it in for the police to examine.
…but her plan backfired when cops discovered two videos of her engaged in illicit acts with a dog [sad trombone sound]. Owen, 24, was charged last week with two felony bestiality counts in connection with the video files, which a detective found in the laptop’s “recycle bin.” At the time Owen asked cops to search the computer, she was locked up in the Johnson County Jail on a public intoxication charge (which violated the terms of her release in a prior drunk driving case). According to a police affidavit, a copy of which you’ll find here, a cop told Owen that he had found videos of her on the laptop and asked if she “knew what those files might be.” Owen replied, “The one with the dog.” Cops believe that the dog in question, Toby, is a beagle. After asking if she was “going to be charged with this,” Owen said that the videos “were just something she did when she was drunk and barely remembers it.” [thesmokinggun]
I can understand arresting her if she was a dude, but for a female it seems harsh - the mechanics of dog f–king would seem to imply that the dog was a willing participant. Unless she was hammering the beagle from behind with a strap-on, in which case, damn, this bitch really knows how to party. Sidenote: “The Mechanics of Dog F–king” would be an awesome name for an intramural softball team.
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LADY DOG F–KER GETS ARRESTED :-(
No you cunt! I asked if you wanted a bagel and cream cheese!
Michelle was very irritated when she wanted to cuddle after the sex, but Toby just kept spinning in circles on the bed before he would lay down.
Her pet name for her kitty is dog house.
The dog lost interest when he saw she only had two nipples.
Toby is a dog who does not need to chase his tail.
I’m curious if this is why a puppy’s breath smells like it does. Those little idiots lick every goddamned thing that’s put in front of them and most dog breeders are weird motherfuckers.
This dog doesn’t play fetch, he plays felch.
When this dog chases tail, he really chases tail.
Sit, Ubu, spin. Good dog.
[reads Chino's post]
Piss boots on me.
[Micheal Vick charges into room, electrocutes Michelle with car battery, runs away]
Once you go Beagle…
She used to put a lampshade collar on him when she went out to make sure he wouldn’t take himself out of the mood before she got back home.
Cesar Milan calls this chick the dog moaner.
Kinda makes you wonder what the fuck all of Oprah’s dogs are dying from, eh?
She was making a doggy porn movie that was going to be titled “Marley In Me”
FLYING CARS!!!!!! QAPLAH!
http://sciencefail.blogspot.com/2009/03/qaplah-sho-gha.html
*Toby walks into room wearing velvet robe, takes a sip of water from his bowl, sits on couch*
Eh, beagle, bloodhound, all depends on what day of the month we’re talking about.
Dog scat porn = Dog Piles ?
Then she was gonna make another doggy porn movie called Turner and Cooch.
The scene was featured on the porn “Beethoven’s 69th”
She doesn’t love Toby, she just loves his doggy style.
Toby got confused when she told him to come.
Not having a vagina, at least in the literal sense, I would think she’d rather have a cat.
She took the Red Rocket Ride to Dogtown.
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