03.18.09 LADY DOG F–KER GETS ARRESTED :-(
Michelle Owen of Indiana was worried that her boyfriend had used her computer to search for child porn [note to FBI word search computer: these are not the droids you're looking for]. So like any responsible citizen dating a suspected child molester, she took it in for the police to examine.
…but her plan backfired when cops discovered two videos of her engaged in illicit acts with a dog [sad trombone sound]. Owen, 24, was charged last week with two felony bestiality counts in connection with the video files, which a detective found in the laptop’s “recycle bin.” At the time Owen asked cops to search the computer, she was locked up in the Johnson County Jail on a public intoxication charge (which violated the terms of her release in a prior drunk driving case). According to a police affidavit, a copy of which you’ll find here, a cop told Owen that he had found videos of her on the laptop and asked if she “knew what those files might be.” Owen replied, “The one with the dog.” Cops believe that the dog in question, Toby, is a beagle. After asking if she was “going to be charged with this,” Owen said that the videos “were just something she did when she was drunk and barely remembers it.” [thesmokinggun]
I can understand arresting her if she was a dude, but for a female it seems harsh - the mechanics of dog f–king would seem to imply that the dog was a willing participant. Unless she was hammering the beagle from behind with a strap-on, in which case, damn, this bitch really knows how to party. Sidenote: “The Mechanics of Dog F–king” would be an awesome name for an intramural softball team.
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LADY DOG F–KER GETS ARRESTED :-(
From the police report:
“Owen closed her eyes and leaned her head back. The dog then appeared to lose interest and walked out of view of the camera as Owen continued to rub her vagina and smoker her cigarette”
Porn 101 - gotta edit out the part where the actor just wanders off, no longer interested.
But really, when I fuck doggystyle I grip the woman’s hips with my wrist and drool on her back until someone shoots a water hose at me to get off her.
Damn those nitpicking laws
Feeding your dog peanut butter from a bowl = Legal
Feeding your dog peanut butter from your vagina = Illegal
They were making voyeur porn. It was a seeing eye dog and the cameraman just didn’t get the blind guy masturbating in the shot.
Haha! I love you, Patches.
Snoopy put it in her poopy.
You and I might call him a beagle, but the other dogs have taken to calling him “Cocker”.
“were just something she did when she was drunk and barely remembers it.”
Hence why she video taped it. Ahhh, memories….
The Boyfriend: I don’t know why, but it seems like every time I take him for a walk, he wants to pull against his leash. It…it’s almost as though he wants me to choke him.
was worried that her boyfriend had used her computer to search for child porn
I would’ve thought her biggest worry would be explaining to her gynecologist why her pussy had rabies.
She’s no longer allowed to live within 100 yards of pounds, city parks, or dog tracks.
So this is getting turned into a movie? I’m totally cosplaying for the premier.
To her, 101 Dalmations isn’t a movie, it’s a challenge.
Toby should have to be a registered AKC sex offender for getting more sex than me.
“Honey, why isn’t this anti-crab shampoo working?”
“Woof Woof”
(Translation: “Dear, you need a flea-bath”)
Well this certainly can’t help her child custody case.
She’d totally win the I-did-a-dog up in Alaska
I like to put peanut butter on my penis and when the dog looks all inquisitive about what the fuck I’m doing I take the cigar out of my mouth and shout “It’s a bone, you lucky dog!”
Lady Marmaduke:
Voulez Vouz Couchez Avec Dog, Ce Soir?
To put Toby in the mood, she does a striptease on all fours to Bark At The Moon.
This reminds me of a really funny story that I cant talk about while the lawsuit is still pending.
It got even worse when the dog started yelling “Say my name!” at her and she replied “Your name is Toby!” over and over.
Wow, if this is how they party in Indiana I really haven’t seen enough of the world. With the exception of Indiana.
[stumbles in eyes glazed, drooling, smoking from the ears. mumbles]
…variable V.I. ratio packages equalizes separator pressure to discharge pressure thereby eliminating over or under compression and maximizing TR to KWh efficiencies to within 10% of…
[flips over bar stool, cops a squat, pounds piss boot, reads post]
Holy Pound Puppy! Her, “I was so druck I got nailed by a dog” drunk story beats the fuck out of my “I popped my buddy’s eye out with a lawnchair” drunk story.
Toby’s lucky she came first. Otherwise, she’d have taken him out back. I think thats why they shot Old Yeller
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