YEP, CRANK 2 IS PRETTY RIDICULOUS
02.10.09
Thing about Crank 2, from concept to marketing to finished product, the guiding principle seems to have been, “Imagine you’re a baby in the womb, and Jason Statham kicked your mother in the uterus.” And I’m here to say that that was a wise decision. In the words of Patton Oswalt, “Statham! Yell it while you’re f-cking!”
This picture is my favorite. Oi, whass dat, severe ‘ead? …Fock’n ‘ell, Oy fink you’re roight, dere is no reason dat Oy should ‘ave a shir’ on roight now.
[Poster source = Firstshowing; pictures = CHUD]
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/monsieur_lazhar__ver2_C-Tates-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/Julia-Roberts-and-Armie-Hammer-in-Mirror-Mirror-2011-Movie-Image-600x354-150x150.jpg)
I just hope he bangs Amy Smart again so i can jerk off to that scene and pretend i’m Stath.
When I first saw the poster, I read, “He was dead and then he got Bennets” and thought it was an ad for the Pride and Prejudice and Zombies movie.
I echo the sentiments expressed in the first comment on this post.
Tagline written by Monthy Python and company.
Crank 2: Chinamen steal your heart
Real Life: Chinamen steal your jobs
Little picture #4:
Statham to Jessica Simpson “Oi, bring it on, ya bint! Oi’ve fought ‘eavyweights befoah!”
I visited a friend this weekend and his wife said she thought Crank sucked. Needless to say, that third picture looks pretty familiar.
Am I crazy or would a Crank sandbox video game blow the hell out of GTA?
I still say they should have gone with the first title: Crank 2: The Transplanter.
New up, but wiffout da Stafe.
Pic 5: “Dor sho gha! Why do little guys always try to punch Him in the gut???”
The makeup on this film leaves much to be desired.
Pic 5: It’s good to see Rosie O’Donnell is getting work after that ill fated time on The View.
The Kurgan:
“I just hope he bangs Amy Smart again so i can jerk off to that scene and pretend i’m Stath.”
Big Smelly Dirt Cock:
“I echo the sentiments expressed in the first comment on this post.”
And I can’t wait for the scene, because I’ll be jerking off to the idea of Kurgan and BSDC jerking off to Smart and Stath having sex in front of the same bus of Japanese tourists. It will be like an MC Escher drawing of jerking off.