XXXTREEEME CAR PORN!
02.12.09
The chisel is for Vin’s biceps
LatinoReview recently came back from a visit to the set of 4 Fast 4 Fourious with a bunch of new pictures and a fresh perspective on the film.
“YES! You see the bad ass cars!
YES! You see the bad ass bitches!
YES! You see the bad ass romance!
AND YES LADIES! You see Vin’s bad ass biceps! [LatinoReview]
YES! I LOVE SHIT THAT’S BAD ASS! SIGN ME THE F-CK UP YOU F-CKING PUSSIES! But first tell me more about this bad ass romance.
HOMEBOY: Yo, girl, I f-ckin love your ass. I bought you some flowers. Are you ready or not?
HEINA: Dawg, you know you da only muthaf-cka for me, and that’s for real. So take your best shot.
HOMEBOY: Tick tick tick tick…
HEINA: Yo, is that all you got?
HOMEBOY: PSYCH! They’re XTREME FLOWERS! And I didn’t buy them, I STOLE ‘EM! From a plane I hijacked! IN MID AIR! I guess I could’ve waited till it landed, but that wouldn’t have been as XTREME! And I wouldn’t have got the chance to test out MY NEW SKYSURFING BOARD!!!
[TOGETHER] OOOH WHAA-AA AA AA!(xxtreeeme kissing until fade out)
[more pics at LatinoReview]
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No Jordana Brewster? Fuck this movie.
She was in the first one right? Fuck this movie even if she wasn’t.
She’s in this one, she’s just boring and not that cute.
Bad Ass Bitches scoot their butts across the carpet.
I swear to God, if this movie doesn’t have that one part in it, then FUCK this movie. You know which part I’m talking about, it’s that part with the music that sounds all fucking sick!
I don’t want to alarm that girl in the second thumbnail, but she seems to have tits growing out of her stomach.
Do these people get paid on a per-scowl basis?
YES! You see the bad ass romance!
Ass-to-Ass romance?
I just drifted my undies.
I just drifted my undies.
Valince really needed a Serious Cat in one of those pictures.
Twice.
Bottom right thumbnail: Paul Walker considers the trajectory of his career.
If you’ll all excuse me, I need to go grudge fuck my car’s tailpipe now.
Good to know Michelle Rodriguez isn’t even trying to hide her drunk driving anymore.
Doctors have advised those with weak hearts to avoid this movie as it may cause XTREME heart failure.
4ast and the 4urious: Fuck Sleeves.
He should just let her go in picture four, Gal Gadot is hotter anyway.
In LatinoReview, he is Pau Walker, yet he is not badass.
Anybody else reading that Latinoreview piece as an effeminate John Leguizamo?
Awww Soup, had you typed “4uck sleeves” I would have blown you, again.
JewReview has filed this report:
Oy Gevalt.
If The Rock saw those last two thumbnails, he’d be so proud.
C-Dog: Who is this Gal Gadot?
Some assbag: She was in a TV show called “Bubot.”
C: You’re as funny as an irregular mole.
Sa: But just as serious.
LatinoReview hid in the trunks of the cars on set for this sneak peek.
Those last two thumbnails are actually a MAD Magazine fold-in. I don’t know the question, but the answer is “YOUR DAD LIKES MEN.”
What’s the cost of a gallon of Vin Diesel going for, $2.25?
Left Banner: Michelle shows why she was fired from the Sail Thu Car Wash, xtreme hood polishing.
Dammit, Pauly! And it’s almost Valentines Day, too.
Last two pics: Diesel. Walker. Watching you masturbate in–4ists of 4ury.
“4 Fast 4 Fourious” would make a good double feature with “Inglourious Basterds.”
*travels back to 1995 in time machine*
Extreme Flowers was also the name of a Bill Clinton sex tape. Ha chachacha.
This movie is four 4ags.
The most extreme thing about this movie is how extremely fucking dumb Vin Diesel looks.
Who keeps green lighting these? Those kids that hang out in Burger King parking lots at night and sit on the hoods of their Honda Civics?
Vin Diesel takes his rolls very seriously…
…with butter.
In the fourth thumbnail, it looks like Vin is pulling her fist into his vagina.
Vin Diesel is a very serious method grab actor.
Vin lives his life ‘one quarter mile at a time,” I on the other hand live, my life one quarter bag at a time.
If I had to fight Vin Diesel, I’d just throw a bunch of Scrabble letters on the ground and tell him that his name fell out of his mouth.
Then run.
I saw more bad ass bitches in Bolt.
Damnit, that was a wasted Hotel For Dogs joke.
I find that’s also the best way to comb a summer camp for boys: one quarter mile at a time.
Can someone tell Michelle Rodriguez that she’s washing windshields the wrong way?
“This summer, Paul Walker is ‘Pole Smoker’ in a film by Michael Bay.”
Mad Max saw a prescreen of the film and called the execution performed by “Daft rank amatures. But me likey the sugartits, kike boy.”
GET THE FUCK OFF MY HOOD, WHORE!
If I had a bitch on the hood of my Buick Grand National, it’s probably cause I tried to run her over.
Vin Diesel has the kind of face taht Jerry Lewis would want you to donate money for.
Right banner pic:
Diesel: “I fucking know, alright?! Triangle goes in the circle slot.”
Right banner pic:
Diesel: “You wanna pretend to fix this engine!? Yeah, didn’t think so. Don’t tell me how to do my fucking job.”