It’s not that she doesn’t like them, she just disdains their child-like misinterpretation of the work of Kant.
Opening this weekend:
Push
Hmmm, a hip fraternity of attractive young mutants on the run from the government? Where have I seen this before? Oh right, everywhere. The bad news is that this will bomb. The good news is that Chris Evans may finally fire his agent.
Coraline
Hooray, something that might be worth seeing! Though beware, it’s 3-D and involves people sewing buttons on their eyes. Stone responsibly.
He’s Just Not That Into You
Planning on seeing this this weekend? Congratulations, you’re a yuppie.
Pink Panther 2
Look, I love Steve Martin but I didn’t see a single f-cking panther in that entire trailer. No panthers = not interested. As always.
Chocolate
“A special needs girl with a need to kick some ass.” Nuff said.
Fanboys
Finally! I’ve been waiting two years to not see this! Oh and hey, there’s a Harry Knowles character in there. You know, I’ve always said that what that guy needs is a greater sense of his own importance.
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They’re giving me that “You know that mother/daughter fantasy you always wanted?” look
Does Dakota Fanning get raped in her new movie? No? Then forget it, I have no interest.
That picture is the Coraline premiere? Dang, even Fanning doesn’t want to see Push.
I was gonna ask who Harry would be sucking off in Fanboys but then I remembered he’s got a whole website to use for that.
Too bad we can’t see the rest of Grimace’s kid over on the left, there… this classy lot would have a field day.
I’d be interested in seeing a Dakota Fanning film titled “Pushin Tush In”
Of course you’d all leave the last thread and miss my jerking off at work
joketrue storyjoke.Erswi! You were jerking it on the clock? Your co-workers will not appreciate that. They need to be able to see the numbers so they know when it’s time to go home.
Why would Dakota Fanning be jealous?
She’s the one with a bottle of ginger ale!
I’m already looking forward to a 3-D porn called Oraline.
The good news for this weekend’s box office?
The Mighty One has “Commando” on DVD!
Whore-aline?
Fek, is that when you drape your junk on a DVD?
Score-aline?
Jack!-Fuck *YOU* asshole!
(btk…yes)
@Jack–Coranaline. From Le Studio Anal +
/French = classy
Bitch.
axwe, talk TO me, not AT me.
Is it just me or does it look like Harry Knowles owns the most disgusting turtle-neck of all time? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Knowles
Skank.
Cunt.
Corabind. Torture. Kill.
Best part of Coraline, Ian McShane doing the voice of the character Mr. Bobinsky. Gimee some bobinsky was code word for a blow job back in High School.
True.
Slut.
big tuna, I’m disappointed in you.
Anything Harry Knowles owns is disgusting.
Tuna-Twat.
You can tell by the way Grimace’s kid is leaning over that the photo shouted. “Out of my shot fatty!” And beaned her with a Kit Kat.
What a dick.
FUCK! Dakota duck! Somebody shot a monkey pox dart at your head!
Nobody wants to teabag Harry Knowles. It’s like velcroing your balls. :*(
That
is
Harry
Knowles
…
..
.
Blaaarrrggghhhhh!
I’d rather velco my balls than look at that shit again.
Harry Knowles dress as Jabba the hutt EVERY Halloween ;X
Harry Knowles was the last man in the gang bang because his wheelchar broke down D-:SP
I’ll take the fat girl in purple.
Harry Knowles smells like 25 loads….and Doritos
Harry Knowles calls himself Mario Batali on the Food network.
Thanks a shit load Broui, I was gonna go join erswi in the I-Jerked-at-Work club for today but couldn’t get it up. Why? That picture of Harry.
Jesus, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get it up again.
Harry Knowles considers writing a review a workout cause he breaks a sweat.
Harry Knowles weighs 54,342 Cheetos.
Harry Knowles’ body hitting the floor caused the shaky cam in 4 fast 4 furious.
Saying Harry Knowles 3 time in front of a mirror at EXACTLY midnight will give you diabetes.
Brouille, is that Harry in your avatar?
No, Harry would never waste food like that.
Harry Knowles is actually known to waste a lot of food. Mostly crumbs and mustard stains.
Harry Knowles once tried to tear his own penis thinking it was a cheetos.
Harry Knowles hasn’t seen his penis since 1996.
Harry Knowles think an Hawaiian shirt is putting pinnaple rings around your nipples. ;*)
Harry Knowles found his remote, $5.75 in loose change, some junior mints and some balls of cat hair in the folds of his body.
Bruce Vilanch thinks that Harry Knowles has let himself go.
Harry Knowles wants to babysit your kids.
Harry Knowles shoes come with a truck suspension for a smooth ride.
Harry Knowles wants to sit on your face.
If Harry Knowles sit on your kid, you and your wife will finally be able to go on that tour of Europe you’ve been talking about.
Harry Knowles is going full Fat Bastard.
Harry Knowles is your real father.
Harry Knowles’ reviews are even outta breath and need to sit down.
Harry Knowles’ breath smells like hot garbage and his dick used to be made of salami but he ate it.
Harry Knowles’ boyfriend nicknamed his asshole ‘candy mountain’
Harry Knowles belt has to be inspected by OSHA and is subjagated to random drug tests.
Viva Laughlin ran longer than Harry Knowles.
Harry Knowles’ hair is overweight.
Pauly:
He’s also wearing a wrestling belt so he can hide his erections. Plus it feels REALLY GOOD!
Harry Knowles has Golden Corral delivered to his house.
Harry Knowles is so fat that he’s going to die young.
Harry Knowles would even give these put downs a good review
Harry Knowles will give tuna lotion’s oral two thumbs down.
Harry Knowles’ nickname in film school was “Water Bed Belly”.
Harry Knowles promises to give good head if you just give him a chance.
Also, Harry Knowles waterbed consists of a tarp on a pool. And he doesn’t get stuck in the sides, he gets stuck in the middle.
Harry Knowles body lost all sense of proportions.
Harry Knowles will suck yo dick for a cheeseburger.
Last time I took out a chick I met at the skating rink, I called one of the evenings events “Goin’ South Dakota”
Harry Knowles feels really lonely when he rides his tiny motorcycle ;_;
Me and the dudes from NAMBLA can’t decide, Push or Coraline?
Wait that joke made no sense.
I had a nightmare about the felt-vampire-testicle from yesterdays twilight thread & in the nightmare it was a vaginal cockroach egg that my friend’s mom found in her old lady cooch. So I what I’m saying is I ain’t looking at that Harry in a turtleneck picture.
Harry Knowles ‘bates out to the Jack in the Box drive-thru menu.
Then orders tacos.
When Harry Knowles get out of bed in the morning, his neighboors start to slow clap as he wipes grease tears from his pink face.
Harry Knowles had an extra mouth installed which runs straight to the stomach
Harry Knowles bought a Bowflex because he thought it was a taffy machine.
Harry Knowles put a stripper pole in his living room that he uses to hang hams on and then he “makes it rain” pork rinds.
Harry Knowles is not that into you, gallon of ice cream, but will be as soon as the brain freeze ends.
Harry Knowles masturbates by leaning against the washing machine and letting the flesh rolls do the work so his hands are free for the two ren faire mutton legs he’s eating.
Harry Knowles cried when he heard about the King assasination, but was relieved when he found out that it was Martin Luther King, not Burger King.
We told our diabetic patients that the Metformin shortage last year was because of the earthquake in China, but it was really because Metformin is supposed to be taken with meals, and Harry Knowles eats 83,456 meals a day.
Harry Knowles is fat.
Harry Knowles reviews children with two thumbs up their asses.
Why is it you can call an ass a “fanny” in the US, and a vagina a “fanny” in Britain, but if you mention “Fanning fanny” in either country you get arrested?
Fuckin’ communists.
Nic Cage in a Harry Knowles suit punching a bear.
Harry Knowles isn’t down with O.P.P as much as he’s down with O.B.sity.
Harry Knowles has a nose for news and an ass for cracking toilet seats.
Ever since he was a boy, Harry Knowles has had back problems from falling off a ladder while trying to get to the big bucket of chicken on the KFC sign.
Harry Knowles is developing a car that runs on chili dog farts.
Baby Jessica who got stuck in the well stays the fuck away from Harry Knowles’ belly-button.
Hey – LOVE the site – read it every day – but have to say, I work in the industry, have recently worked with Dakota, and that’s not her. But I do appreciate the joke. Also, love when “the Statham” posts, so the more the merrier as far as Im concerned. Have a great weekend – I know I’ll be getting loaded so there’s a pretty good chance I’ll see Hangover Bear Saturday and Sunday morning. And probably Monday morning too.
You work in ‘the industry’, wonderboy?
No. From now on, you’re in the “gettin’-fucked-by-Pauly” industry.
Welcome aboard!