02.05.09 YOU GOTS A PURDY UTERUS

I’d hit it.

Actually, it looks like a hairy 70s vagina. Or a really uncomfortable pocket pussy, I can’t make up my mind which.

“Look, I’m not saying I don’t love you felt-womb, I just have a thing for pulling out”

Did Stephen King make this?

I’d hang that from my Christmas tree…..

in May.

I think I can finally break both my niece and nephew’s awful pop-culture fascinations: First I tell him that this is what a pokemon ball (poke-ball) really looks like, and then simply tell her the truth about what it really is.

Oops- I should mention that they are both in college.

This reminds of that one time my home ec teacher knitted me a cock sleeve after I made her a tit pillow. It’s a pillow for your tits.

This may not be the first time I’ve said this (today) but . . .
Sweet Jebus, kill me now.

Black Jesus eats his golden eggs with grape drink.

Jesus has a pomegranate for a uterus?

I’ve dropped plenty of deuces in my time and not a fucking one has ever hatched, thank you very much.

I’d share my earbuds with that thing while my iPod played Phil Collins’ “Easy Lover”.

Where the hell did all of these posts come from?

Judging from the size of the mitt in the banner pic, that thing is destined to be mistaken for a coconut, devoured in a single bite, and washed down with tears of desperation and shame.

How to make me scream twice:
1) put up a new post while I’m delivering gems on the Push thread
2) include the scariest picture on ze planet

Well played, Mankini.

Before I read the post, I was convinced it was a model of Stephanie Meyer’s face.

In the one pic with the hand, you can see just a hint of a ring- what are the odds that it is a abstinence ring. I’d bet 100%. Especially if this is what the owner of that hand thinks sex results in. At any rate, she’ll still do anal.

Dang, vampyre feti tear a uterus up!

What…the…fuck!?

This just goes to show you that Twilight fans will forever remain virgins. “What, baby? You don’t want to put it in my felt vagina?” No, thank you, I don’t.

Fuckin’ nerd city, population whoever made the fuzzy vampire coconut. Now excuse me while I go peddle my neato Star Trek action figures on ebay.

My girlfriend’s been sitting on her hand for like 20 minutes now, so I’ll be back at the Amber post if you need me. WOOOHOOOO! Stranger here I come!

Pauly: Here you go, baby. Happy Valentine’s day! *hands girlfriend a handmade felt-womb*

Pauly’s hoe: Awwww, you shouldn’t have! Here. I got you something too. *hands Pauly a head of lettuce*

Pauly: Awww, you da best bitch a nigga could have!

If I were Stephanie Meyer and I got this in the mail, even I’d start re-evaluating my life.

I swear, I never even had sex with her. I just felt her up!

That’s all it takes.

LINCE!!! Why did you edit out the picture where He headbutts the fuzzy uterus to death?

Oh, look! Star Trek figures on Ebay!!! QAPLAH!