TOM HANKS STEALS NIC CAGE’S SCHTICK
02.12.09
After the jump, I’ve got the full trailer for Angels and Demons, in which Tom Hanks takes his brotox forehead and weird floppy hair to Italy to do a passable Nic Cage impression and solve the age-old mystery at the heart of the Catholic church: does the pope indeed shit in the woods? Or was that the bear? Or maybe it was Nic Cage dressed as a bear. These can’t be mere coincidences, people.
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Tom Hanks also stole Joaquin Phoenix’s Schick.
Serious Cat doesn’t like Tom Hanks screaming in the streets.
Serious Cat is a member of the Knights Templurrrrrrr.
*Hanks spots a rosary*
“THE BEADS? NO! NO, NOT THE BEADS! NOT THE BEADS!!!”
Nic Cage would punch the pope… but only if he were dressed as a bear. And in character. He’s dedicated to his craft.
Raffaello Follieri is insisting this movie is a gross misrepresentation of the Catholic Church. Well, inbetween the rapings he is.
“The Catholic Church is like a box of chawlits…you never know what kinda Pope yer gonna get.”
ChawKlits, excuse ME
Someone with mad tech skilz should do a mashup of Cage running thru the streets screaming and Hanks running thru the streets screaming. Until they finally crash into each other and their combined panic and paranoia cause the end of civilization as we know it.
That would be HAWT.
Just out of curiosity, as one of the sheeple that read the book is there any word on plot changes as a result of making the first novel the second movie?
/serious
<resume fart jokes
BearPope Innocent Campers IX was my favorite. He organized the pic-a-nic inquisition.
Not unlike ‘Slumdog Millionaire’, I expect this film to have a lot of Protestants.
I shit in the woods and wiped my ass with a rabbit. The trick is to catch the rabbit first.
Trust me.
Carmen Sandiego shits in the woods since she’s a fugitive. Maybe they’re trying to find her?
If he’s looking for Carmen Sandiego it’s probably just so he can sign Rockapella to Play-Tone records.
So the Pope and a rabbit are sitting next to each other on a log and the Pope asks the rabbit, “Hey little fella, do you ever have problems with poop sticking to your fur?”, to which the rabbit replies, “Go fuck yourself with your funny hat you pederass!”.
Hey guys. How’s it goin’?
Do you think the forehead might have something to do with Hanks’ and Cages’ predilection for running/screaming?
If so, “Exeter” from “This Island Earth” would be the world’s running/screaming champ.
J-does the Pope rape the rabbit and shit on it?
Meanwhile, Liam Neeson continues to do good movies.
Holy shit, what a dig Jaun. I’m guessing you know about that from MST3K?
Yeah Donk. Like Taken. That movie rocked! Only way it could’ve been better?
If he didn’t get to his daughter in time to prevent her from being violated . . . by me.
Nope. He uses the rabbit to wipe his dick off after pulling out of an alter boy’s ass.
I think JHC and Fek have the Pope confused with Pauly.
If not then Pauly needs to amp up his pervert a little.
Holy shit, it gets cold in here when you’re by yourself.
The Mighty Feklahr says:
*Hanks spots a rosary*
“THE BEADS? NO! NO, NOT THE BEADS! NOT THE BEADS!!!”
/+1
@With Leather You mean if Nic Cage was dressed as a bear or the pope was?
I’m gonna be honest, I could make a case for either.