“Oi, you cunts, it’s da Staf’ ‘ere again. Oy bet yous fought you’d ‘eard da last a me, ‘adn’t cha?  Bollocks ta dat, dere’s nuffin da cunts round ‘eah loike more den repeat’in a fock’n joke, now duz dey?  Roight.  So da Staf’ is back in dis new traila for Crank 2.  In dis one, da wroiters ‘as come up wiv a story dat da Staf’ ‘as an artificio ‘eart.  An’ oy’s got ta keep fockin’ rechahgin it. ‘Ence da title, “’igh Voltage”.  Da plot is well fock’n good, cuz it means dat da Stafe ‘as got ta keep takin moy fock’n shir’ off – which puts da birds in da fock’n seats, now doesn’ dey?  Roight, so den Oy punch a few Choinese cunts, groind down a rail in moy sneakaz, knob an old lady – really, da only paht a da traila Oy don’t loike is when dey show da Staf’ wiv an oiPhone.  Oy used to ‘ave an oiPhone.  Put moy fist fru foive of da touchscreens before Oy gave up.  It’s loike dem cunts ‘asn’t realoized dat some blokes’ touch is loighta den ovvas.”

And now, The Four Moods of Jason Statham:

If you scroll through them fast enough, your panties disappear.

[Trailer courtesy of Empire]