TALES OF THE BLACK FREIGHTER TRAILER
02.13.09Tales of the Black Freighter is some kind of story within a story inside Watchmen, which is getting a its own separate release on DVD March 24th. The trailer just hit the web and of course I’m posting it, because as a movie blogger I’m required to mention it every time Zack Snyder has a loose stool. Seriously, I would suck a blue dick if it would make this movie come out faster.
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BLOOD! OCEAN!
they should have played that in the background of that trailer
You had me at Herbal Essences.
I’m a smurf. Suck me, beautiful.
Vince, don’t answer the door – The Blue Man Group was just seen running down 103rd Street. Word has it they CAN get the movie released faster using some crazy PVC drum thing and a bag of marshmallows.
Tales of the Black Freighter is the diary of my bowel movements.
Black freighters are never on time.
Oh thank God. I scanned the headline too quickly and prepared myself for some kind of Michael J. Fox reboot with Chris Tucker, Eddie Murphy, and Tyler Perry wearing sheets.
Oh come on, you can’t Durst me on a racial joke.
The tale of the black freighter is considerably longer than the tale of the yellow freighter.
Black freighter wants to know “Where the white ports at?”
Black Freighter Jesus cannot save this.
Black Freighter wants to know “Where the Newports at?”
All i get is a trailer for the Biggie Smalls hagiography, or was The Black Freighter another one of his names?
The Black Freighter should be the politically correct sequel to The Last Starfighter.
Much to everyone’s surprise, the black freighter’s cargo is white, just like all the other freighters.
Black freighters just won’t go down.
Boats and Hoes!!
What did the mexican snail say when asked what he was hauling on his big black freighter?
Es cargo
Black freights alway go into storms for that, front to back and side to side, motion.
The Black Freighter is unloading 14000 cases of Nehi even as we speak.
Black freighters have extra junk in their trunk.
Black Freighters only fly solid color flags, and they still have the tags on them.
Water tends to bead up on the Black Freighter.
I am out the door for the weekend so I didn’t watch the video, but is that Joaquin Phoenix?
Black Freighter’s Company Slogan: Once you ship black, you ain’t gettin’ yo shit back.
Black Freighters love typhoons. They ain’t movin, but they still spinnin’!
There a lot of black freighters in Chicargo.
Good fucking luck trying to get that black freighter into the water.
The tale of the Black Freighter is total fiction. Everyone knows that Black Freighters hate the water!!
Fuckin’ Pauly. Now I have to clean yo dick. Again.
The Black Freighter sailed through the Panama Canal once. It was never quite the same again.
Black Freighters typically have 3 to 5 tugboats, but don’t know who they came from.
Black Freighter swabs the deck with coco butter.
The Black Freighter will show up to port every day but he’s gonna be leaving early.
The Black Freighter likes to spread his seamen around.
Can also be referred to as a coontainership.
Black Freighter says, “Fuck da Coast Guard!”
Black Freighter hates getting stopped for NWB. Navigating while black.
The Black Freighter likes to holla at his buoys.
After the election, Black Freighters don’t have to worry about buying a new galley.
The Black Freighter likes whale tales.
The Black Freighter wants you to back dat dinghy up!!
Black Freighter’s fly bridge has a big booty.
The Black Freighter’s deck is maintained by the 2 Live Crew.
I can’t see the video, so I’m assuming it’s a modern take on Amistad.
Black Freighter loves its gangway.
The Black Freighter is always trolling.
The Black Freighter has an enormous Poop Deck, and is damn proud a’ that thang.
Black Freighter aft dat skiff on a date.
Black Freighter always packs 2 starboard guns. (But they’re not registered)
Jew Up!
Black freighters are often to be found in the dock*.
*means on trial in Blighty.
An Herbal Essence promo? Man, those marketing gurus really understand the Watchmen demographic.
Hi Vince. I’m on the PR team looking after the launch of Watchmen: Tales of the Black Freighter. We really like your blog and wonder whether you would like to get in touch with us about an exciting project we are working on in conjunction with the DVD release. If you are interested – email me: freelance@shinecom.com Thanks