SLUMDOG KID GETS KICK ASS HOMECOMING
02.27.09
Man, the Slumpuppies‘ lives keep sounding better and better.
“Slumdog Millionaire” child star Azharuddin Mohammad (left) reportedly was beaten by his father Friday just days after attending the Oscars.
His father, Ismail Mohammad, got enraged when his son tried to avoid media in front the family’s home in the Dharavi slum.
He punched Azharuddin’s face and kicked him while the child cried and covered his face in pain.
The boy’s mother looked on in horror, crying out to her husband to stop, but the elder Mohammad kept delivering the punishing blows until his son fled.
“Azharuddin’s father was upset that he was asking to be left alone because he was tired,” an onlooker said. “It was like a scene out of ‘Slumdog Millionaire.’”
The father apologized after the incident became public, saying he was “very sorry.”
“I was so confused and stressed by my son’s homecoming that I did not know myself for a minute,” he told the Sun. “I love my boy and I am very happy to have him home,” he said. [NYDailyNews]
What a f-cking dick. Guy’s kid does one movie and he’s already acting like a stage parent.

“For the love of Vishnu, Ismail, do you know how many kids in…um…[whispers to wife]what’s someplace worse than here?”
“Kurdistan?”
“Right! Kurdistan! Do you know how many kids in Kurdistan would love to have an Oscar? Now get out there and do that dance routine Paula Abdul taught you and I’ll go put ‘Blame it on the Alcohol’ in the CD player.”
His full name is Ismail Mohammed Lohan.
Actually, this was just a family disagreement over which god to sacrifice his little sister to. They finally settled on Kali ‘cuz that Michael Bay script looks pretty promising.
Ismail Mohammad sounds like an asshole. A nice father would have blown his son upon his return.
I figured his old man beat his ass for not kicking the shit out of that little bitch he’s with for not wearing a burqa.
Fuck you if that’s not spelled right. You see a dot on my forehead?
…GET OUT THERE AND DANCE FOR THE CAMERAS DANCE YOU LITTLE FUCK I’LL BEAT YOU TO A PULP NOW GET OUT THERE AND STRUT YOUR SHIT FOR THE PEOPLE…
{continues beating off}
Hey homotesticles, what’s this thread about?
*Editor’s Note: In my first comment, “Ismail” should be replaced with “Azharuddin” or, as they’re known to their boss at Dell, “Jeff” and “Skip.”
I apologize for any confusion and/or anal leakage.
In the father’s defense, they live in a cardboard box. You try swatting at flies without accidentally bludgeoning anyone in the same room.
Oh, look at that face! I love it! The face of an angel! What’s not to beat?
As I understand it, the kid has been holding his breath since leaving the US, and the father was trying to get him to share some fresh air with the family.
A real man would have taken the beating with a smile.
And a real boy would have told Gepeto to stop fingering his buttock hole.
What the reports don’t tell you are about how that kid was all “Fuck you dad, I got a teddy bear from Santa Monica Pier!”
Dad kicked his ass cuz he got all uppity and took a shit in a toilet instead of the kitchen sink.
“I’m not beating him! There’s an alcohol fire on his face! Put it out! Put it OOOUUUT!”
Same thing happened to Taraji P. Henson, but it was mainly because she looked at that cop all funny.
Maybe his pops finally had enough of him running around talking about “Daddy Boyle.”
Ryu: “Azharuddin!!!!”
XXXXtreme method acting!!!
“YEAH, THERE YOU GO! ACT LIKE THAT DIDN’T HURT, BIGSHOT!”
I smell a sequel!
Or curry dysentery.
For some reason this reminds me of my favorite commercial of all time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSe40tX-oTA
If any of you are secretly from New Orleans and once hung out at Rock-n-Bock, you will understand.
Dear Penthouse,
I was on top of the world on Sunday when my movie won an Academy Award. I got home and my dad welcomed me by smacking me across the head for being tired. What should I do?
- Azharuddin
*Penthouse editor shreds letter and sheds a single tear*
He’s lucky Vishnu wasn’t whooping his ass.
Nothing makes families come closer than domestic violence.
Especially Oscar-fueled domestic violence, Fek.
Has it occurred to any of you that he may have just had it fucking coming to him? That’s what my old man would always say.
JHC, you just effectively brought up 2 years of repressed sexual memories involving my gym teacher with that comment.
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!
The father was actually temporarily impaired from the fumes caused by molten gold being poured into ingot molds.
For the record, I want to punch Olivia Munn’s kitty like Azharuddin Mohammad’s dad.
The Mighty Feklahr concedes that hot dogs, balogna, and other beef byproducts tend to fuel His domestic violence.
He got his ass whooped for bringing a false idol into his father’s house.
Granted, you and I may not think much of a Mickey Mouse doll, but over there? Rodents that move like people? All I’m saying is Mickey could start some shit with these morons if he was so inclined.
Hey, why do you think G-Dub wanted to bomb all these brown little fuckers, anyways?
I did not know myself for a minute
I know for a fact that this defense does not work.
At least here in the states.
Especially if there are witnesses.
Fek, because they’re brown? Like we need another reason?
The Indian version of Ryan O’neal!!
Not only are they brown, but they…
NEW UP!
(saved by the post!)
I know myself all the time. The biblical “know” that is.
Eibz! I want that avatar, sistah.