OH YEAH, THE RAZZIES HAPPENED TOO
02.23.09
Irony? Mike Myers saying to JT, “I loved My Dick in a Box,”
After the jump, you can see the full list of winners of the Razzie Awards for the worst achievements in film. They’re pretty cute until you realize that (presumably) someone actually sat through all these pieces of shit. Come on, not even Seltzer-Friedberg watch Seltzer-Friedberg movies.
Worst Picture
The Love Guru (Paramount)* Disaster Movie (Lionsgate) and Meet the Spartans (20th Century Fox) (jointly)
* The Happening (20th Century Fox)
* The Hottie and the Nottie (Regent Releasing)
* In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (Boll KG/Brightlight Pictures)Worst Actor
Mike Myers in The Love Guru* Larry the Cable Guy in Witless Protection
* Eddie Murphy in Meet Dave
* Al Pacino in 88 Minutes and Righteous Kill
* Mark Wahlberg in The Happening and Max PayneWorst Actress
Paris Hilton in The Hottie and the Nottie* Jessica Alba in The Eye and The Love Guru
* Cameron Diaz in What Happens in Vegas
* Kate Hudson in Fool’s Gold and My Best Friend’s Girl
* The cast of The Women (Annette Bening, Eva Mendes, Debra Messing, Jada Pinkett Smith, and Meg Ryan)Worst Supporting Actor
Pierce Brosnan in Mamma Mia!* Uwe Boll (as himself) in Postal
* Ben Kingsley in The Love Guru, The Wackness and War, Inc.
* Burt Reynolds in Deal and In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
* Verne Troyer in The Love Guru and PostalWorst Supporting Actress
Paris Hilton in Repo! The Genetic Opera* Carmen Electra in Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans
* Kim Kardashian in Disaster Movie
* Jenny McCarthy in Witless Protection
* Leelee Sobieski in 88 Minutes and In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege TaleWorst Screen Couple
Paris Hilton and either Christine Lakin or Joel David Moore in The Hottie and the Nottie* Uwe Boll and “any actor, camera, or screenplay”
* Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher in What Happens in Vegas
* Larry the Cable Guy and Jenny McCarthy in Witless Protection
* “Eddie Murphy in Eddie Murphy” in Meet DaveWorst Director
Uwe Boll for 1968 Tunnel Rats, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, and Postal* Marco Schnabel for The Love Guru
* Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer for Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans
* Tom Putnam for The Hottie and the Nottie
* M. Night Shyamalan for The Happening
Worst Screenplay
The Love Guru (written by Mike Myers & Graham Gordy)* Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans (jointly) (written by Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer)
* The Happening (written by M. Night Shyamalan)
* The Hottie and the Nottie (written by Heidi Ferrer)
* In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (screenplay by Doug Taylor)Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-off or Sequel
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (sequel to Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade)* The Day the Earth Stood Still (remake of the 1951 film)
* Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans (jointly) (rip-off of many films)
* Speed Racer (remake/rip-off of the TV series Speed Racer)
* Star Wars: The Clone Wars (sequel to Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones, prequel to Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith)Worst Career Achievement
* Uwe Boll (“Germany’s answer to Ed Wood”)
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What, Mike Myers beat out Larry the Cable Guy for worst actor? Larry, baby, you should have pulled a Ledger.
Then not only would you have won the award, we wouldn’t have to see any more of your movies.
Alternative Banner Pic Caption: “Hi Hungry, I’m Mike Myers!”
The Happening was fucking robbed.
Irony? Mike Myers saying to JT, “I loved My Dick in a Box,”
I see what you did there.
*skates away shouldering a boombox playing “What What (in the butt)” by Samwell*
Myers heard that little kids on playgrounds blow raspberries all the time and he wanted in on that action.
Suck it Slumdog Millionaire, finally an awards program you didn’t sweep with our pandering poor beggar children.
Ironically, I would totally do any of the actresses on the Worst Actress and Worst Supporting Actress list.
But I wouldn’t respect myself afterwards.
Slumdog Millionaire: Winning awards for the kind of corny, bullshit filmmaking that people have been lampooning for years.
Razzies: Same thing.
In a perfect world, all of these assholes would win.
Gift bags for the Razzies have felt the pinch of the downturned economy as well. They’ve been forced to go out in search of real dog shit instead of the fake rubber stuff in order to save money.
in Eddie Murphy’s next movie he plays a turd masquerading as a human being.
Aaron Seltzer on not taking home a Razzie this year: “It’s a boner just to be nominated. Get it? I said ‘boner’ instead of ‘honor’! Holy shit, I gotta write that one down!”
I hope that somewhere on the trophy, they engrave “Just to be clear, we’re laughing at you, not with you. At. Not with.”
Ahh, Leelee Sobieski. She peaked on Jay Leno ten seconds before she read a crappy poem she wrote about 9/11.
What was she famous for, anyway? Oh yeah, for playing jailbait who was attracted to Tom Cruise in Eyes Wide Shut. I guess she got started in “fantasy acting” early on, so it’s no surprise she’s doing Boll crap like Dungeon Siege
Fuckin’ 88 Minutes.