This week’s comments of the week winner gets PUNISHER: WAR ZONE on DVD, which hits stores March 17th (as does the fancy ass blue-ray, your highness).  Patton Oswalt says, “PUNISHER: WAR ZONE is THE BEST time I’ve had at the movies this year,” which is all the endorsement I need. I’d eat a cat turd if Patton dared me to.

As always, the way this works is, when you read a comment you think worthy of recognition, YOU nominate it by copy and pasting it in the comments section of this post (along with a link to that post, pretty please).  Then, the following Sunday/Monday, I’LL pick the winner from among the nominees. The winner gets a sweet prize.  (FYI, the nomination thread is always linked in the ABOUT section).

Let’s begin the runners-up rundown, shall we?  From ECONOMIC DOWNTURN CAUSES BLINGYNESS DECLINE:

Al says, “A Ubell-Meyer Oscar party? I call baloney.”

From DANNY TREJO JOINS THE EXPENDABLES:

Stinky Peet says, “The hardest part of filming with Danny Trejo is finding a director brave enough to yell “Cut!” after every take.”

From TRAILER FOR ALMODOVAR FILM (whose synopsis included, “the eternal search of fathers for sons, and sons for fathers.”)

Robopanda says, “Fathers searching for sons would be the gay chat room you can find Zac Ephron at. He’s a ‘son.’ His screen name is Ins8iableBottom4SilverFox.”

From TWILIGHT 2 HAS A TITLE:

Dr. Steve Brule says, “If they really listened to the focus groups, Twilight 2 would be called ‘OMG LOL! HE is SOOO HOT! LETS EAT CHOCOLATE AND TALK ABOUT MEN IN A WAY THAT IS BOTH UNREALISTIC AND SAD!’”

From THE NEVERENDING STORY RAPE VAN:

Burnsy says, “There’s a small hole in the wood paneling that he calls the Neverending Glory.”

From WATCHMEN CONDOMS:

Chodin says, “These condoms had better postpone my f-cking release date.”

From ASHTON KUTCHER’S BODY SWAP COMEDY:

Stone Soup says, “Bart is a hockey player. Billy is a race car driver. When the two athletes are knocked unconscious, during events, they magically trade places, only to find themselves in the midst of situations neither of them was ready for. Stick Shift opens on Administrative Assistant Appreciation Day, 2009.”

Burnsy says, “Jason Biggs plays a single loser who’s always the third wheel on his roommate’s (Josh Hartnett) hot dates. That is, until they meet a girl (Blake Lively) who’s into threeways. ‘Bate & Switch opens this Fall.”

Rotwangchung says, “The studio sold both Ashton and Zac with the same pitch: ‘Okay, so another dude enters your body and…’
‘I’LL DO IT!’”

From MICKEY ROURKE’S DOG DIED:

Robopanda says, “This is sadder than when Dan Rosen died in that car wreck.”

From SCENES FROM KIRK CAMERON’S FIREPOOF [Editor's Note: I originally forgot the second r by accident, but I left it because I think it's better this way]:

Stinky Peet says, “Did you guys know the shortest passage in the Chicago Tribune is ‘Ebert wept’?”

And for our first runner up, who came in second only by a razor-thin margin, from SEXMAN WEIGHS IN ON CHRIS BROWN:

Guy Who (usually) Looks Like a Thumb says, “She just kept on naggin’ him:
‘Where you takin’ me for dinnah? Innah? Innah? Eh? Eh? Eh?’
That would be as annoying as hell. Right, Sexman?”

As for the winner, I had to go with the one I laughed the hardest at, no matter how obscure the references.  From PEDRO ALMODOVAR’S LOS ABRAZOS ROTOS (which I re-imagined as ‘Los Abrazos Jotos‘):

Robopanda says, “Los Jotos grab you ass, los jotos kiss your face, los jotos lick your balls into outer space!”

What can I say, I’m a sucker for gay Spanish Short Circuit reference jokes.