PROBABLY A SCIENTOLOGIST
02.06.09
I noticed an interesting phenomenon today. Accompanying nearly every blog or news article about Scarlett Johansson is a variation on the following comment:
Scarlett Johansson (actress) actually is a clone from original person,who has nothing with acting career.Clone was created from stolen biomaterial. Original Scarlett Galabekian last name is nice, CHRISTIAN young lady. Clones (not 1) made in GERMANY, leader manufacturer of humans clones, it’s in Ludwigshafen am Rhein,N.Bavaria,Mr.Helmut Kohl home town, they spreading globaly NAZI type disciplined and mind controlled,be careful get close you’ll be controlled too. Original family didn’t authorize activity with stolen biomaterials,it’s all should go to Cedars-Sinai MedCenter in LA.Controlling clones is US military operation. Original Scarlett wasnt engage, by the way.
You get all that? Scarlett Johannsson was actually cloned from stolen biomaterial from a nice, not engaged, Christian lady named Scarlett Galabekian (who sounds like she’d have a really hairy muff. …What? Just sayin). The comment is variously attributed to “Serge”, “Sergal”, or “Sergei”, but as the author is still anonymous, I’d like to be the first to take credit for it, just in case Michael Bay wants to buy the option.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/12/tom-cruise-crazy-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/11/Hulk-spread-ass-150x150.jpg)
I’ve read that before, too. Strange.
Who? Scarlett Gala…..Galab……Galabaga…Gal I bet you could fit this whole thing in your mouth!
Thank you, be sure and tip your waitress.
So does the original one still have the original nose?
I like her in that movie where her and Penelope Cruz take turns banging Joe Rogan.
She could have been created from the bio material found in Kathy Bates’ ass crack and it still wouldn’t make me want to have sex with her any less.
Besides, she owes me after I listened to some of her dreadful music and watched that awful trailer for “He’s Just Not That Into You”.
How can you bother to read any of that with those boobies looking at you?
When approached for comment, the blogger in question was too busy adjusting his tinfoil hat
(shit, my hat’s torn… I’ll be back in a bit guys before they get my thoughts!)
Guy’cha! We have no chance to survive make your time!
Frankly my dear blogger, I don’t give a damn.
Scarlett Johansson (actress) actually is a clone from original person,who has nothing with acting career.Clone was created from stolen biomaterial. Original Scarlett Galabekian last name is nice, CHRISTIAN young lady. Clones (not 1) made in GERMANY, leader manufacturer of humans clones, it’s in Ludwigshafen am Rhein,N.Bavaria,Mr.Helmut Kohl home town, they spreading globaly NAZI type disciplined and mind controlled,be careful get close you’ll be controlled too. Original family didn’t authorize activity with stolen biomaterials,it’s all should go to Cedars-Sinai MedCenter in LA.Controlling clones is US military operation. Original Scarlett wasnt engage, by the way. Penis.
She could strangle my mom to death with my dad’s intestines and I would still want to nail her.
I just need to open a couple of tabs with those banner pics and I’ll have some biomatter for “Cedars-Sinai MedCenter in LA” as well.
Vodka, dibs on your mom.
How can one aquire stolen biomaterial for my own cloning interests*?
*fuck slaves
Hi. Vince from CloneWow here. Look at this clone – she’s a hot chick. She can soak up gallons of semen where other girls will leave it laying there in your crotch – there’s your mold and odor. She’s made in Germany – you know, those Germans always make the best stuff. Real girls last two, three weeks. This lasts a lifetime. I don’t know – it sells itself.
new up!
Stoney, you fucking liar! You said you posted something FUNNY!
So what you’re telling me is that if I became a nazi, I might have a shot with the Scarlett-clone?
I gotta go preheat the oven.
Heidi Klum, David Hasselhoff, and Scarlett Galabekian clones. I think the Germans have made up for World War II.
*OVERUSED JOKE INCOMING*
In Soviet Russia, Scarlett forks YOU!
I’m a moderator for a popular news website and we get that same comment to every Scarlett Johansson story at least 5 times. I’m constantly banning different socks they create.
I love tits.
Scarlett Johansson (actress) actually is a clone from original person,who has nothing with acting career.Clone was created from stolen biomaterial. Original Scarlett Galabekian last name is nice, CHRISTIAN young lady. Clones (not 1) made in GERMANY, leader manufacturer of humans clones, it’s in Ludwigshafen am Rhein,N.Bavaria,Mr.Helmut Kohl home town, they spreading globaly NAZI type disciplined and mind controlled,be careful get close you’ll be controlled too. Original family didn’t authorize activity with stolen biomaterials,it’s all should go to Cedars-Sinai MedCenter in LA.Controlling clones is US military operation. Original Scarlett wasnt engage, by the way.