_{A comic book character who looks like an adolescent sex fantasy?  Why this is unheard of!}

THR today reports that a 3-D project called Aphrodite IX is moving forward, and as you can probably guess, it sounds like your basic Casablanca-esque story of heartbreak and redemption.

[Some production companies] have joined forces to adapt the Top Cow comic “Aphrodite IX” into a 3-D feature film. The comic centers on a cyborg assassin who achieves self-awareness and begins searching for her origins. Producers are looking for the female lead.

“This is just the kind of franchise we love: a visually stunning world, amazing effects, a great story and a hot, kick-ass babe in the lead,” Threshold’s Larry Kasanoff said. “What could be better?” [THR]

What indeed, what indeed.  Anyway, let this be a lesson to you, aspiring writers.  At first I couldn’t get anyone interested in my semi-autobiographical novel. But then I talked with a couple movie execs about it, and as it turns out, all it needed was a couple lesbian ninja cyborg vampires and a subplot about parkour.

The studio sent me this new short red-band clip from I Love You, Man* late yesterday, and I watched it, thought, Meh, and it sat in my inbox a while longer.  Since then, it made its way around the web faster than your sister at college football recruiting party and has been emailed to me by at least five more people, all telling me how funny it is.  So who knows, maybe I’m the f-cked up one. Anyway, check out the clip after the jump. But be sure to hold onto your sides first.

*Which I should point out I’ve heard nothing but good things about from people who’ve seen it.
Read the rest of this entry »

Here’s the literal version of the video for Billy Idol’s “White Wedding,” even though I thought the original was pretty literal already.  If you’re not familiar with this concept yet, the premise is that the artist in the music video is only allowed to sing about what’s going on in the video at the time. (See also: the literal video for “Head Over Heels,” the literal video for “Take on Me“).  I tried to make a literal version of a Larry the Cable Guy movie once.  I vomited bats.

_{Homophobic Turtle wants to know how you got your arms like that.  Do you do preacher curls? A lotta iso? He’d love some pointers.}

This new international poster for X-Men Origins: Wolverine is in French, and they don’t have any wolverines in France, so I suppose they can be forgiven for mistaking Wolverine for the Wolf Man.  Also, I think the poster artist might have majored in cock drawing at art school.

New tagline? Wolverine: More fun than a gay wax museum.

[via WorstPreviews]

Douchebags who work in marketing (or as I like to call them, “club promoters with day jobs”) need only pass out a few flyers to convince themselves that they’re visionary supergeniuses. So of course the people who worked on The Dark Knight are wasting no time falling all over each other to take credit for the film’s success. After the jump, check out the hilariously dramatic, self-congratulatory, faux-gritty video put together by the people at 42 Entertainment, the company that oversaw the “Why So Serious/Elect Harvey Dent” marketing campaign for The Dark Knight.  Or as they call it, “A transmedia experience with over 10 million participants in over 75 countries that played across hundreds of web pages, interactive games, mobile phones, print, email, real world events, video and unique collectibles.”

You got a bunch of dorks to dress up, play video games, and collect toys. Congratulations. I’d say that’s worth at least four dismissive wank motions.
Read the rest of this entry »