Slapshot, released in 1977 and starring Paul Newman, is one of the best, if not the best, sports films ever made. And now, it’s being re-made. Okay, Vince, let’s settle down here. Let’s figure out who’s involved before we do anything rash…
Peter Steinfeld (“21″) is penning the script, with Dean Parisot on to direct. When Steinfeld took the writing job and spoke about it last summer, Internet pundits were critical of the notion of updating a favorite sports film. Yet such nostalgic resistance certainly did not hurt The Longest Yard, remake, a global hit that grossed far more than the original. Parisot last helmed a remake of another comedy “Fun With Dick and Jane.” [Variety]
21 was one of the most insanely mediocre piles of cinematic oatmeal I’ve ever seen. Fun with Dick and Jane was impressive only its unfunnyness. Really, a movie as unfunny as Fun with Dick and Jane is an achievement. Then again, maybe you’re right, Variety writer guy. I mean, hardly a day goes by that I don’t hear someone say, “Hey, you know what was a great flick? That remake of The Longest Yard with Adam Sandler.” or “That Longest Yard remake is my favorite movie ever,” or “Call me crazy, but for my money, compared to that remake of The Longest Yard, Citizen Kane looks like child porn.”



The early line is 10:1 for the Jonas Brothers to play the Hansons.
Fuck Hollywood in their unimaginative asses with a hockey stick.
Here’s an idea, Hollywood – make an entirely new fucking movie instead. It can still be about hockey, and it can still suck eggs, just leave out the giant shit you’re about to take on one of my favorite movies.
Truth is, this version of “Slapshot” has nothing to do with hockey. Instead, it is the story of the two things Christian Bale did to his Director of Photography.
SPOILER: The Jonas Brothers will be cast as the Hansen Brothers and instead of delivering vicious hits on the ice, they’ll deliver radio-friendly hits instead.
@JHC: My money is on the Affleck brothers as the Hansons. Beacause they’re from Bahhhston and they play hockey in Bahhhston and Ben Affleck is exactly the kind of self-aggrandizing shitheel who would think it was cool to be in a travesty like this.
JHC, forgive me for my sins.
Memo to studio execs: You will be missing a bet if you don’t cast Adam Sandler. Hello? Already a hockey player in the movies AND already in a “global hit” sports remake! Cast him now, and thank me later.
PS: put Rob Schneider in for box-office insurance. (You’re welcome)
Another great idea: “Paul Blart: Zamboni Driver.”
I’m like Irving Thalberg, only alive.
SLAPSHIT
I think I speak for the rest of Canada when I say “Hollywood, go choke on a dick”
Slapstabmeinthefuckingthroat
Dean Parisot’s wife’s a dyke
I’d like to remake that one summer when I was eleven and my uncle Ernie came to stay with us and all he wanted to do was play “Poseidon, King of the Sea” while my mom was at work.
cnt wait 2 c this! omg! prfct actor! robert pattinson! omg hes so hot! i nvr saw the 1st 1. did sum1 say the jonas bros! omg! omg! omg! duz this movie have giant killr robots tho?
Isn’t there a rule that remakes have to go in chronological order? So you’ve got to do “Rocky” first. That film is just begging for a remake, or at least a sequel.
New up, w/firecrotch.
Remake…REH-MAH-KAY! I’m pretty sure that’s Japanese for “crap.” Godzilla, Psycho, War of the Worlds…I hear a remake of Butch Cassidy and Sundance Kid starring Keanu Reeves and Vin Diesel has been greenlighted. Oh, and a remake of Casablanca with Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz, fresh from the triumphant success of What Happens in Vaginas. Fuck you, remakerers! Let me say it again in a different way but still recognizable to a general audience: remakerers, fuck you!
Thay are only pulling this shit because Newman is dead. I he was alive, they’d all flee his wrath. Vengence is getting run down by a racecar and getting a Basalmic Vinegar enema.
Vengence is getting run down by a racecar and getting a Basalmic Vinegar enema.
Well, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.
I thought The Mighty Ducks was a Slapshot remake. Y’know, a junior version.
This should definitely star Christian Bale. I can see the tagline now: What don’t you pucking understand? I’ll pucking kick your pucking ass!
I really hope Peter Steinfeld is convicted of child molestation and raped and murdered in prison, but mostly raped.
I HAVE FUCKING KILLED MEN OVER LESS THAN THIS!!
Does Hollywood have an original, creative bone in its body anymore? No? Oh, ok then. Oooh…”Paul Blart:Mallcop”…how could this not be awesome!
I thought Citizen Cane WAS child porn..damnit, now I have no reason to watch it anymore!