NICE TRY, HIPPIES
02.03.09The makers of Breaking Upwards, an indie romantic-dramedy (an iRom-Dram) playing at SXSW (that’s “South By Southwest,” grandpa), recently made this faux rap video to promote their film. The film tells the story of a New York couple played by real-life couple Daryl Wein and Zoe Lister-Jones (omg, it’s so meta!). Will he pop the question? Will she become Zoe Lister-Jones-Wein? Will she divorce him and marry Christopher Mintz-Plasse, thus becoming Zoe Lister-Jones-Wein-Mintz-Plasse? Only time will tell.
Anyway, I give them extra points for creativity, but minus 1000 for the line “My future vision is generally spot on / much like the comic timing, of Jen Aniston.” You really couldn’t write a worse rap line than that. At least not without referencing Kierkegaard.
(Plus 100 points for Olivia Thirlby in a bra).
And here’s the regular trailer:
[via /Film]
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I know comedy is extremely subjective but allow me to present my personal top three things I’d rather do than watch that again:
1. Anything
2. Anything
3. Anything
GET A JOB, YOU BLACK-FOOTED ASSHOLES!
“Rap, damn you! Rap faster!”
“Please, sir, I’m rappin’ as fast as I can!”
BTW, the official term for “romantic drama-comedy” is “romdramedy.”
“Coke badger vomit” is also acceptable.
I think the best hip-hop line ever was….
“WHAT WE GON’DOOOOOO?”
Trust fund kids are the number one cause of 1) self-indulgent faux intellectual desperately ironic film school turd muffins, 2)lacrosse tournaments, and 3) date rape. So in conclusion, if you see this movie you are responsible for lacrosse rape. It’s just science.
The Caucasian instinct to rap badly = Licky Boom Boom Downs Syndrome.
I rap that references kierkegaard? Don’t mind if I do!
Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom/
Spunky is when I jizzies on your dome!
God creates out of nothing,
I a baby daddy for nuttin’!
P.S. Zoe Lister-Jones? I’d bust her hyphen.
All this
identicalindie crap kinda has to go, or the universe is gonna collapse into a hipster singularity, the Big iBangShe should become Zoe Lister-Wein and fight gingivitis.
The only white rap I’m into is Wax paper
Oh, and the Beastie Boys
I’d rather watch Ari Spears star in the Slapshot remake than watch that video again.
Oh my gay.
I always wondered why someone would name their kid “Gaylord.” Now I know.
At this point, I’d rather see a Grace Jones movie than Zoe-Lister Jones movie.
In yo face, Joaquin!
Hey! That bitch is the same one that tryed to sell me a veggie burrito in the parking lot of a Phish show.
y before i especially after r.
Proclamation:
Putting an “i” in front of a word does not make it hip. It makes it a word with an extraneous and annoying as fuck “i” in front of it.
Stop it marketing fucksters.
If I ever meet Steve Jobs I’m gonna have to punch him in the mouth.
I need a miricle……….please kill all hipsters.
Crappy, i’m with you brother
I think I would like to iGrudgefuck that iHippy until her iSnatch iProlapses and iPinksocks then take an iPicture with my iPhone and mail it to her iMom.
That chick in the bra is totally iBanging me.
iHate this movie.
iRomdramedy = ivomity
iI love it!
iIt was very iInteresting.
The new iEye is an invention that every sea captain needs.
iFucking hate everyone involved in this.
This is a plot by the iRanians to drive Americans crazy.
iShat me.
Where do these people get off using superfluous letters?
backs away slowly, guarding cache of U’s
Uh, VaLince? You see what is happening here? Stop watching TiVo’d episodes of Oprah and give us something.
Al, if you’d get rid of those ‘u’s, then the queen would have to leave you alone.
That, and tyre has to become tire.
iIAm iIrate, iI need to listen to some iIam iI Said to calm me down.
Well, I was interested in seeing this, but after the way that video ended, I want to see a movie about cocksucking aliens in a gangfight.
The rap video wasn’t even saved by Thirlby’s PG flash. I don’t want to see the movie but I want to jizz fire on her chest.
iI’m making a iMovie where ‘Right Said Fred’ iGang iRapes Bruce Cambell in a iPenn iStation bathroom stall. I’ll call it Right Said Fred Gang Raping Bruce in the Shitter. The double meaning of the title will freak people the fuck out.
iSee dead hippies..in my basement
“My future vision is generally spot on / much like the comic timing, of a suicide bomb!”
I have been fucking upwards for years.
+100 points for having Nick Sobotka from “The Wire” in it.
-100 points for not making him smuggle cocaine off of the docks.
I heard at the end of this movie, they break up because she wants their new born son circumcised by a mohel who only uses his teeth but he wants to give his new born son breast implants. However, they are reunited after they visit each other’s facebook page and find out they both have “The ting tings” listed as their favorite band.
How about rapping ancient philosophers?
“the first known philosopher was Pythagoras of Samos/he didn’t come from Greece, that’s a play with John Stamos”
I didn’t think so.
Who would you rather lash with a 6 foot Slim Jim across the b-hole? These utterly douchetastic urbane outfitters or the person responsible for the useless Uproxx Remember Me box?