NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
02.18.09
Well this news just sucks. Mickey Rourke’s beloved chihuahua mix Loki passed away yesterday at the age of 18. On the one hand, man, that’s f-cking old for a dog. On the other, it’s always much sadder when dogs die than people, I think because of the soft fur. And yes, Mickey Rourke named his chihuahua after a mischievous norse God, which is just one of the many reasons that Mickey Rourke is f-ing awesome. Though if I’m honest, up until now the awesomeness was probably a good 30% pet chihuahua. He will be missed.
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Don’t worry. Loki is in a better place now. Asgard
If it’s going to be an open casket ceremony I hope Mickey doesn’t use the same mortician that works on his face.
You wanna know how much Mickey loved this dog? After he neutered him he kept a souvenir. Don’t believe me? Look real close at those pictures. That ain’t no cigar in his mouth.
This is sadder than when Dan Rosen died in that car wreck.
When they asked Mickey how he felt he replied, “Thor. It really hurth.”
::: pours out 40 :::
Is that dog related to chodin?
Mickey Rourke’s beloved chihuahua mix Loki passed away yesterday at the age of 18.
That’s like 887 in Mickey Rourke Years.
Every time I see Mickey out and about he looks like a clown without the make up. The tie don’t help either.
There’s no need to worry about Mickey. He says he’s “Lokidokee.”
*sits in corner*
I bet Mickey never withheld cupcakes form Loki.
….or from either.
To many fourth meals.
God of mischief my ass. More like the God of pissing on my fucking rug.
“Loki” is actually short for “Low-key”, which is itself short for “I lost my keys doing blow in a Denny’s bathroom”.
Mickey’s loss is Jet Li’s gain.
Loki? More like Bury!
Mickey Rourke has retired to his L.A. apartment to mourn with his other Chihuahuas, Moki and Curly.
Aw man. That was the only bitch that would actually touch Mickey.
*hums*
“Have you ever seen a dead 18 year old Chihuahua? Then you’ve seen me….”
He should fix a nice serving of bosintang and have Loki with him forever.
This sets up the Beverly Hills Chihuahua sequel I have been scripting:
“BHC II: Die A Slow, Horrible Death”
That dog is now the front-runner for Best Supporting Actor.
To be fair, Mickey always looks like his dog just died, so I don’t know how we’re supposed to tell.
Yo Quiero Taco Bell y un defibrillator.
Not to get technical, Stone, but they call it an “un defibrillator spectacularrrrr”.
Death by natural causes?
My money is on death by Ram Jam.
Never tell a Method-trained dog to play dead.
The dog died when a “dick in the popcorn tub” prank went awry at the Beverly Hills Chihuahua DVD release party.
Marisa Tomei calls her heavy periods “Ragnarok.”
Did Mickey get that tie at the “I Really Stopped Giving A Fuck” store. You know, the one next to Neiman Marcus.
Mickey Rourke will honor Loki’s passing with a lacy black armband and a matching satin belt.
Since Mickey dresses like a pirate, will Loki get a burial at sea?
Peanut Butter overdose
Fact: Mickey Rourke’s tears form stalactites.
Loki was a gag-gift from Don Johnson given to Mickey Rourke on the set of “Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man”.
Don told him “If you’re gonna fuck any girls while we’re filming here in Tucson, you’re gonna need a condom.” and tossed him the puppy and Mickey wore it ever since.
The only thing that will soothe his pain is an Academy Award.
The funeral will be a small private affair, very Loki.
You guys are a bunch of douche sleuths. Look at the banner pick. That dog was murdered by the future child-star/convict over Rourke’s right shoulder.
Why couldn’t this have happened to Paris Hilton instead?
Not the “dead dog” part, just the “dead” bit.
I only date women who let me name our offspring after norse gods.
I only date women who let me wear chihuahuas over my penis.
Rourke has opted for a non-traditional burial. The deceased, along with her still-living lover, will be laid upon a funeral raft, which will be thrust out to sea and thereafter fired upon with flaming arrows. Just the way Loki would have wanted it.