Pictured: a lesbian vampire’s axewound
Lesbian Vampire Killers began as a challenge to come up with the most commercial movie title ever, and the rest is sort of paint by numbers. It opens in the UK on March 20. Still no word on a US release, but after the jump you can watch the trailer. It basically looks like a poor man’s Shaun of the Dead. And for some reason, the lesbian vampire blood looks like semen. Is that some kind of British irony humor? You can never tell when these fruits are joking. Here in the good ol’ US of A, when know we’re supposed to laugh because Kevin James’ pants are falling down.
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Pictured: Bruce Springsteen parties a little too hardy with Monica from Friends!
I don’t know about the entire US, but my wife laughs when my pants drop too.
U-Haul.
Suburu… Outbat?
*slinks back to corner*
The poster for a poor man’s Shaun of the Dead is a portrait of Simon Pegg drawn in human feces on the side of a dumpster
Lesbian Vampire Killers wear Lurkenstock sandals and have mullets with a Widow’s peak.
Lesbian vampires are more dangerous than lesbian zombies, but they smell about the same.
You should see the vampire lesbian drama that happens during a breakup when it’s time to decide custody of the hounds from hell.
Lesbian Vampires would look like the love-child of Eddie Vedder and Marilyn Manson
Lesbian vampires don’t need an excuse not to sleep with a man, but if she wants one she could always go with “splitting headache”.
:::Any room in that corner still?:::
An entire village filled with women who can’t look at themselves in the mirror? No wonder they’re pissed.
Lesbian vampires don’t turn into bats; they turn into old crows.
Strongo, if you would have gone with Munster instead of Vedder, you would have had a winner.
Stone, all I did was nominate you yesterday. I can’t keep doing this! WON’T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?
Don’t worry, Fek. I got you covered.
You see Fek, that’s why you’ve won the COTW, and I’ve only been a runner-up once
Lesbian Vampires adopt Asian children.
The only thing that can kill a lesbian vampire is playing an Indigo Girls record backwards.
You can always tell it’s a lesbian vampire driving when you see the hearse cut across three lanes of traffic to make an exit.
Don’t even think about trying to out run these bitches. They’ve all got F250 SuperDuty pick ups.
Lesbian Vampires can only reproduce with the sperm of an undead David Crosby
Lesbian vampires love Sarah McDraclan.
*puts piece of Chewels in mouth, laughs maniacally*
Lesbian vampires wear plaid flannel capes.
One Melissa Ethridge album, ah ah ah. Two Melissa Ethridge albums, ah ah ah…
The Lesbian Vampire Carpenter’s union has an excellent accidental death insurance policy.
If you want to see a lesbian vampire go into a blood rage, tell her Mariska Hargitay would never sleep with her.
Fek – Apparently I’m making up for an extreme dry spell.
Buffy has never had an easier time slaying an entire family of vampires than when she wandered into the lesbian vampires’ coven.
Lesbian vampires get very offended if you confuse them for vampires from trannysylvania.
Speaking of Lesbian Vampires…. So Lindsey Lohan is a dyke now, and based on some scary pictures over there, shes looking like the undead…
Spoiler Alert: Movie resolves when protagonists present lesbian vampires with set of 10″ wooden dildos.
All of the lesbian videos I watch end up getting semen on them too, so I don’t think it’s just a British thing.
Coming next summer, Ass to Mouth Vampires!
Lesbian vampires don’t need your help with their groceries, they can handle them just fine, thank you very much.