02.12.09 JOAQUIN TAKES RAPPER SCHTICK ON LETTERMAN
Joaquin Phoenix was a guest on Dave Letterman last night (watch the video after the jump), ostensibly to promote Two Lovers, but really to stay in the actor-turned-rapper character he claims not to have invented for Casey Affleck’s documentary. You have to give him credit, his schtick is really consistent – earnest but confused, sensitive, always wondering why everyone’s laughing at him. Early on, Dave (who doesn’t seem to be in on the joke) asks him about his beard.
DAVE: You look different than I remember. (laughter) You’ve got, uh, a nice beard going.
JOAQUIN: Yeah. Thank you.
DAVE: How is that, the beard?
JOAQUIN: (looking around) …In what way?
DAVE: Well, is it comfortable? Is it itchy? Are you pleased with it?
JOAQUIN: …I’m okay with it. …But now you’re making me feel weird about it.
And it goes on like that, with Dave trying to make jokes, Joaquin giving one-word answers and pretending to be offended, and the crowd laughing uncomfortably until it sort of comes to a head when Dave asks him to introduce a clip from the movie (4:35 of the video). Joaquin says he doesn’t know what the clip is, Dave implies he’s unprofessional, Joaquin gets offended, and Dave makes a crack, “No, that’s fine. I’ll come to your house and chew gum.” At which point Joaquin says, “That’s fine, I don’t have to chew gum,” and sticks it to the bottom of the desk (pictured).
Like the tag on his shirt, the gum-under-the-desk moment is one where I think you can tell it’s a joke because he took it one step too far. Nikki Finke even goes so far as to call it a “career-ending appearance.” But honestly, if you’d rather watch him promote a Gwyneth Paltrow movie than this, I don’t think we can be friends.
[Thanks to RoboPanda for the tip]
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There are 27 comments about:
JOAQUIN TAKES RAPPER SCHTICK ON LETTERMAN
Joaquin’s original concept was to be a “Rappin’ Rabbi” but he forgot his yarmulke and had to go with the “Snoop Doggy Unabomber” motif.
I like it when he pretends not to remember Gwyneth Paltrow is in the movie. I do the same thing when I watch Iron Man.
What a tool, I half expected Jerry Lawler to run out and slap him at some point which actually would have been infinitely more entertaining.
I’m still waiting for Nikki Finke’s career-starting appearance.
I hope that, once he dies, Joaquin’s eternal punishment is to have his dick stepped on for all eternity by Andy Kaufman.
I threw in the extra reference to eternity to let you how just how fucking serious I am.
Joaquin is the new Crispin Glover.
T’ank ya, Donk. Ini’s a little slow t’day wit’ da weeeeeeed hangova, mon.
Word ‘em up.
Joaq the fuck?
I didn’t watch the clip, when Joaquin leaves the show, does he hold up his hands to show the words “Bye”-”Good” to David?
I always thought it was strange how he never admits to the harelip thing.
When reached on the other side , River commented “Dude, fucking chill, everyone knows the talented one died”
I think the Andy Kaufman career arc would be perfect for this asshat.
::: blows second-hand cigarette smoke in his face :::
I, for one, thought it was amazing.
You, for one, have no fucking voice here. Get an av.
Not ridiculous enough. I’m waiting for him to start doing interview answers via interpretive dance or with a small whiteboard and dry-erase marker where all he does is draw emoticons.
He should try to singlehandedly bring mime back. Then I will love it.
Where’s his posse? You’re telling me Joaq can’t get the guy from the Tanqueray commercials and Praz to follow him around?
If Phoenix isn’t ripping off Andy Kaufman, then Phoenix is becoming Britney Spears.
Pretty soon, when he walks into a room, he’s gonna have to say “J-pheenix, in the apartmizzle”.
The absolute best thing for him to do at this point to complete this charade is to get hit by a bus or die in some accident. If it were drugs, people would just assume that he really was going bat-shit crazy. You need it to be some bizarre yet believable accident so people will always wonder this when they hear Joaquin Phoenix’s name: “Who?”
Somewhere in a wood paneled room with green shag carpeting, an annoyed Harvey Pekar screams at his 13″ black and white television because he knows that people who care are too smart for this douchebag.
Does spoiler texting work?
Meh. His schtick is more believable than SJP playing a human female.
Phoenix: It’s not a hoax and I’ll prove it to you by continuing to act bat-shit crazy in ways that make you think it’s a hoax!
Press: Phoenix is playing a prank on us
:::Repeat with diminishing frequency for 2-3 years:::
Wow, what an oddly specific and long-winded fortune cookie that was.
If he want’s to sell this, he’s gonna have to cover DMX’s “My Niggas”. On live TV.
The Mighty Feklahr is sure C Joaq feels bad every time he has to flush a piece of his poopy down the toilet for good.
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