JOAQUEEN’S DIRECTOR BLAMES HIMSELF
02.13.09
A lot of people around Hollywood are saying Joaquin Phoenix’s performance art project or whatever you wanna call it is sabotaging Two Lovers, the movie he’s supposed to be promoting. But guess what, it’s a rom-com with Joaquin and Gwyneth Paltrow, no one wants to see that shit anyway. For his part, Lovers director James Gray doesn’t know what to make of it either.
“If it is an act, it’s the most committed act I’ve ever seen in my life.”
Now, Gray wonders if he’s responsible for Phoenix’s decision to quit acting and take up rapping. Two Lovers features an awkward freestyle rap performance by Joaquin, and Gray believes the actor is imitating him. “I had an obsession with doing that sort of thing as a teenager. It turns out that Joaquin is imitating me in a lot of the movie. He said, ‘I want to do that, I want to steal from that, I want to do the rap that you used to do.’ I said, ‘OK.’ And now I’m seeing him do this thing, and I feel like I’ve ruined Joaquin Phoenix for the world. I don’t want to be the guy that destroyed Joaquin Phoenix’s acting career.” [DeadlineHollywoodDaily]
I wouldn’t beat yourself up. Joaquin was a good actor, but for the time being at least, guy who pretends to be on drugs and sticks gum under Letterman’s desk is about 1000 times more entertaining than guy who talks about why his character fell in love with Gwyneth Paltrow. And yet, not quite as entertaining as guy who gets hit in the nuts with food. Something to ponder.


This is who he chooses to imitate? Why couldn’t he imitate the guy who sees aliens everywhere and run around Hollywood hitting actors with a bat? I would’ve sent him donations.
Poke Poke
I like the guy, but Zach Galifianakis is taking his impression of Joaquin pretending to ruin his fucking life a little too far.
So we’re supposed to believe that one scene of awkward white-boy freestyle rapping inspired Joaquin Phoenix to attempt a music career, when spending an entire film acting and performing as Johnny MFing Cash didn’t? Which would in turn beg the question, just how deep was that hole on the front of Joaquin’s face?
Life imitates fart.
Wait, who’s getting poked?
Wait, wait, wait. A fat, dorky white guy pretended to be a rapper as a teenager? Stop the fucking presses.
I don’t want to be the guy that destroyed Joaquin Phoenix’s acting career.
Unless you’re changing your name to Joaquin Phoenix Too, I think you’re pretty safe.
Based on the video footage we’ve seen, I’d say Joaquin was influenced by Macy Gray.
It’s not his fault Joaquin got mo’ flow than a river.
And also his brother, River. Who is dead you see, and can not flow at all.
Fine, let’s assume for a second that someone as fagtastic as James Gray has the ability to destroy someone’s career. Can we get him a project with Shia LeBeouf and Kevin Connolly?
I wasn’t pre-aware of that Paltrow movie’s existence.
Now I am.
The Bearded Sham
Fuzz Face Mush Mouth