Perhaps I’ve misjudged you, Catholicism.
After the jump, watch the trailer for Lymelife, an indie flick from writers Derick and Steven Martini, directed by Derick Martini, with a score by Steven Martini and his band, The Spaceship Martini. …Moving on… It’s currently is making the festival rounds, next playing at the Gen Art Festival in April, and stars Alec Baldwin, Timothy Hutton, Kieran Culkin, and Rory Culkin, who up until now I didn’t even know existed (and frankly I think I was better off). I know it’s suppposed to be a heartwarming period piece and all that, but I think if I’d seen this when I was in high school and had to watch a Culkin getting laid I would’ve gone Columbine all over everyone’s ass.

I saw Rory Culkin in “Igby Goes Down”. I was disappointed… I doubt this needs explanation considering present company.
I think Lance Martini was the boom operator.
Or at least he had one up his ass.
‘Going Columbine over everyone’s asses’ is when you superman that hoe indiscriminately, and for revenge.
Lyme disease is nothing a little Jose Cuervo and salt can’t cure.
I live the Lime life. Or at least my dead hookers in a shallow grave do.
Lyme Disease. Such a better name for a disease than their first choice. Iwasafilthymotherfuckerwhodidntwashmyelfandgotbitbyabugmakingmebatshit crazy-itis.
I heard that SoCo with Lyme Disease was Churchill’s favorite drink.
In my opinion… a little Jose Cuervo and salt can cure everything…
INCLUDING THE SIDE OF EFFECTS OF A LITTLE JOSE CUERVO AND SALT!!!
What does washing your elf have anything to do with anything 6 ways???
Has anyone tried the new Bud Light with Lyme Disease?
I heard it hits the bullseye looking spot….
I thought it was choloform?
That trailer left me shaken but not stirred.
Alec Baldwin is really convincing in the parts of the trailer where he is yelling at his kid. It’s almost like he isn’t acting.
The rifle he pulled out was actually a Key Lyme Shooter…
These people need to put aside the alienation, get on with the fascination – the real relation, the underlying dream.
A movie with Timothy Hutton and Alec Baldwin and NEITHER are the main parasite.
Alternate PIC Caption: Confused Little Johnny didn’t know what to say when Father Callahan showed him his new implants…
This kinda shit really deer ticks me off.
Emma Roberts, on the other hand…
::: checks imDb, sees she turned 18 eight days ago :::
…definitely some stirring.
Are Steve Martini and Dan Aykroydi still talking these days?
The janitor at the middle school keeps a drawer full of “warm period pieces”.
Ew, you got lyme disease on my period piece
Yeah, didn’t you hear the witch doctor? He said Coconut!
I think those Culkin kids need to worry more about Dutch Elm Disease.
A Culkin is like a Blumpkin, only with extra shame.
*chodin walks up to FilmDrunk water cooler, removes tank and shits into cooler*
So…did you guys see the tits on that dude in accounting?!?
Sometimes I wish that I was a Culkin, purely for the sake of at least once in my life getting to refer to my dick as the “Culkin Cock”. It sounds like something dipped in gold…
Even after three martinis, I won’t enjoy this.
Eastwood says Martinis are for faggots.
Needs more Charles Bronson.
Oddly, I don’t feel like makin’ love.
Okay, who would win in a fight: the Culkin brothers or Bret and Owen Heart?
Remember: Bret could swing his brother’s corpse like a weapon.
Probably The Harts unless Macaulay slides into the ring with a chair.
Culkin and Baldwin are just Palin-speak for culking and baldwing, respectively.
Baldwin yelling? Culkins with an overbearing father? This a documentary right?
I hope theres a scene with Baldwin laying on the floor eating a cheeseburger while the Springsteen Wrestler song plays.
The Gen Art Festival? That’s the one with all the hairy lesbians and Ani Difranco mustaches, right?
At this point, I’m convinced the Baldwins and Culkins are both part of the Wu Tang Clan.
You put da’ lyme wit’ de Culkins and da’ Baldwin beats em’ up.
I’m pretty sure Rory Culkin is part of the No Tang Clan.
I’m pretty sure Rory Culkin still drinks tang.
The Spaceship Martini: it was a toss up between this name or Dick, Butts & Guts.