02.18.09 JU BETTER BELEEB IT, CABRONE

banner pic: Danny isn’t getting the concept of Mexican Judo.

Why isn’t Mark Decascos in this yet?

Do not taunt The Expendables.

Not Shown: More Knives.

I wish Gary Busey and Nick Nolte were playing evil twins in this movie, they could be Trejo’s sidekicks.

Mark Decascos got in a car wreck with Geroge Washingtoe, Kavin Bacon, Keith Ledger, and Dan Rosen.

Mark Dacascos is (presumably) okay.

This movie better come with subtitles.

If JCVD or Chuck Norris played a sidekick would that be ironic?

What are you shooting with?

35mm.

Camera?

Mortar.

I’d love to see Trejo as a contestant on Hell’s Kitchen.

Banner pic, the ultimate answer to Crocodile Dundee’s “Tha’s not a knoife”.

Crate & Barrel is selling a couch made of Trejovian leather.

This film will debut at Survivor Series.

Trejo thinks “ginsu” is Japanese for “pussy.”

The hardest part of filming with Danny Trejo is finding a director brave enough to yell “Cut!” after every take.

Beef jerky and whiskey are the only food and beverage recommended for consumption while watching this movie.

Suge Knight will produce the soundtrack.

Your butthole aches for a couple of days after watching this.

I was hoping The Expendables would be the surprisingly dark sequel to The Incredibles.

Banner Pic:

So ju gon’ buy a fuckin’ knife, o wha?

If Dany Trejo was a Door-to-Door knife salesman, I’d buy 4 sets.

I think I just anal seeped a wee bit.

Danny Trejo is going to kill me for spelling his name wrong.

So I watched a little of Spike TV’s DEA series last night. It was pretty boring. Pauly looked good though.

Danny Trejo shaves with fire.

Olivier Gruner for the win.

God..I think I just came a little reading that cast list. Yeah, I did.

Upon watching The Expendables your balls may drop lower and no matter what sex, you will grow a beard.

The only reason this movie isn’t being filmed in 3-D is because other countries might consider it an act of war if we ship it overseas.

Forrest Whittaker plays Danny Trejo’s love interest.

.Do not taunt The Expendables

This reminds me; the special edition DVD of Con Air contains a deleted scene that explains the backstory of Trejo’s character as the result of a John-Henry-esque challenge by a loveable, wise-cracking rape robot.

Because of Danny Trejo, Forest Whitaker’s eye is trying to watch Forest Whitaker’s back.

24/7

By the way, why does the guy who apparently has never shaved successfully always play the knife expert?

If this movie doesn’t actually exist and is all a big ruse, I’m going to be fucking pissed.

Why is that dude wearing a Danny Trejo mask?

Closed Captioning as translated by Bob Dylan.

Needs more Charles Bronson.

Rexy,Charles Bronson will be in the film.
In the ashtray, in a vacuum cleaner bag, and as part of a scene involving cat litter.

Prolonged exposure to The Expendables has been known to cause tattoos.

The trailer for The Expendables can be used to remove menstrual blood from bedsheets.

Hey, that dude looks just like John Travolta!

Danny Trejo has a tattoo Lil Wayne on his chest.

^of

Banner Pic: Danny Trejo is out for Holy Justice in The Mohel, the Merrier

Jesus. Mexicans really take lawn work fucking seriously

Danny Trejo drinks radiator coolant when he’s hot.

Danny Trejo’s rendition of ‘The Barber of Seville’ didn’t quite get rave reviews.

Danny Trejo washes his face with lava.

Danny Trejo sharpens his knives on Pauly’s ass.

New up, scarier than Danny Trejo.

Why the fuck does it keep logging me out when I try to comment on the next thread?

UPROXX!!!