REALLY, THIS PUSSY AGAIN?
02.27.09
Believe it or not, WB is still planning to make a Green Lantern movie, to be directed by Martin Campbell (Casino Royale) and released on the eerily specific date of December 17, 2010. No lead has been announced, but LatinoReview‘s infamous source “Anonymous” says they’ve previously looked at Ryan Gosling, Sam Worthington, and Emile Hirsch, but had problems with scheduling or disinterest. But now, reportedly, the producers “are looking at” Anton Yelchin, who plays Chekhov in the new Star Trek movie and the young Kyle Reese in McTerminator.
Kid’s a decent actor, but he’s as pasty and feminine as a toy poodle, so casting him as a superhero doesn’t seem like the best choice. On the other hand, this is the Green Lantern we’re talking here, a guy who gets his superpowers from a goddamned ring. “He was given the ring when Abin-Sur came to Earth to find someone who is ‘utterly honest and born without fear’ to take his place.” In other words, “I’ll give you this sweet ring and this spandex outfit, but you have to promise me you’re not scared. *moving hand up thigh* How ’bout now? It’s very important that you be utterly without fear…”
Also, if you’re looking for a pre-pubescent pretty boy to wear a ring, I hear the Jonas Brothers are available…
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Jesus…how young looking do they want to make these superheroes? Hal Jordan was like 30 year old Fighter pilot. Hollywood casts in turn a 12 year old boy. I guess both Zach and Cody were busy…
OMG, please no. I’m with the Jensen Ackles camp. DEAN WINCHESTER FTW! (his daddy is The Comedian, so this would work).
Or Nathan Fillion oh yes…in spandex.
Anton Yelchin thinks you’ve had a rough day, let him dig that unmarked grave for you. You just make sure that gun doesn’t jam.
He wasn’t scared until he saw that big lesion on Abin-Sur’s lip.
CONVERSATION BETWEEN SCOTTY AND CHEKHOV AFTER SPOCK DIED
Scotty: Use my special bag pipe Chekhov.
Chekhov: But your bagpipe only has one hole and doesn’t make any noise when I blow into it.
Scotty: Oh it will Chekhov. It will.
So Adin-Sur gave hime a ring huh? Last time I wore a ring a screeching harpy took my balls and joy away.
No, the Jonas Brothers have been signed to appear in a “Superfriends” movie.
As “The Wonder Twins” and “Gleek.”
GREE LANTERN IS A SHITBAG HERO. WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH USING A LANTERN?
See, the casting director made a mistake, he was told to get a “real tough guy” for the role and he thought he was hiring Anton Chigurh.
[comicnerd]
I have no fucking clue why people read Green Lantern comics. I wouldn’t say they are the shittiest comics in the world, just the shittiest comics that more than 3 people like.
BTW, Harrison Ford would have made a good Hal Jordan…about 25 years ago. They just need to give up on this shitty idea.
[/comicnerd}
Anton Yelchin is cool with the whole ring/super powers thing, but what he really wants is to wear brownface and yell “Heart!”
I bet you the only thing this version of Hal Jordan can make with ring create with his imagination is cockrings.
Miley Cyrus is playing Sinestro
My dad wears a ring. It gives him the power to imprint shit across my face, backwards.
Really, this pussy again
I remember thinking that about 3 years in with the whorex. Then she goes and fucks around. Cunt.
I thought Anton Yelchin was the Swedish inventor of the rubber fist? Is, is this a different Anton Yelchin we’re talking about?
In Whitest Gay,
On Faggots Night,
No Anus Shall Escape My Sight.
Let Those Who Worship Hetro’s Might
Beware My Dildo –
Covered in Lantern’s shite.’
You wanna make this movie a fucking hit? Cast Danny Trejo as Sinestro.
“Vete a la mierda Linterna Verde. Voy a cortar tus pelotas fuera. Coño.”
Does this Green Lantern fellow spend a lot of time in the bus station washroom ? If so, the boy looks right.
(Scene: A sweltering summer night, backyard of the JLA headquarters; Batman is flipping burgers on the grill while Superman, Wonderwoman and Black Lightening chat about the possibility of a three-way)
*BZZZZT!*
Green Lantern (standing by himself, off to the side): C’mon guys.
*BZZZZT!*
Green Lantern: Seriously, this suc…
*BZZZZT!*
Green Lantern: Well fuck, can I at least have a burg…
*BZZZZT!*
Green Lantern: Dammit, I swear I’m going to go insi…
*BZZZZT!*
Superman: Don’t move you little pussy. Stand there another half hour and we’ll make you a full member.
*BZZZZT!*
Anton Yelchin looks like a 16-year-old preemie.
“someone who is ‘utterly honest and born without fear’…”
Wait a fucking minute, this Abin-Sur guy wanted a dead baby to take his place?
More like Anton Felchin’!
Anton Yelchin’s Green Lantern is only vulnerable when he takes off his ring to give HJs.
Anton Yelchin sounds like some kind of weird sex move where the girl finishes by shitting into her own bra.
Don’t get it twisted: Anton Yelchin is the movie villain who drags around the humidifier, not the pressurized bolt gun.
I’d give that Anton chick a KY ring around the asshole.
Posting from my Iphone isn’t as much fun as it should be. Probably cuz I have nothing to say about this shit story.
As a child, I had a blue lantern in my yard. It was great fun to catch bugs and toss them in to make a satisfying ZORT sound. Things went well until I bet Mike Hunt $1 he wouldn’t stick a fork in it. Dad was pissed.
Black Lightening is not amused when Hal poses on the JLA front lawn.
Things went well until I bet Mike Hunt $1 he wouldn’t stick a fork in it. Dad was pissed.
I heard that kid was a pussy.
A total twat oneSo. One time at Funk Cave he fell and got a big gash between his legs, his brother snatched him up and they pounded pavement to his hole of a house. His mom gave him a wipe and made some clam chowder to munch on, then laid him on the carpet with some pads for comfort.
I see this kid as more of a Pink Penlight type.
Periwinkle Flashlight type?
Look, all I have to say is that Timberlake better stop giving me his dick eye. Yeah, I get it dude, you have a sick ass profile.
Two predicitions about this p.o.s. idea:
1. This never sees the light of a movie theater.
2. It goes the way of The Spirit and the internet creates spoof movies of all the critics’ slaughtering reviews, thus earning it a spot as one of the worst movies ever made.
Wondering if this guy is gay?
This is an actor whose breakout role “Charlie Bartlett” had him in a bathroom giving love advice through a gloryhole.
Gay? I’d say so.
He’s just making sure you’re not judging him for having flamingos on his shirt, Chodin.
Anton Yelchin? More like Anton WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH MY EARS!?!?!
Am I right, you guys? Right? Haha…wright? Rite!!!!!???
And I find it so hard to believe that semi-big name actors like Ryan Gosling, Sam Worthington and Emile Hirsch would express disinterest in a Green Lantern movie. Can’t they see gold when it’s presented to them?
N’up!