ANNIE WHATSERFACE TOOK SOME PICTURES
02.04.09
Legendary photographer Annie Leibovitz took a series of photographs of some of this year’s actor/director pairings for the latest Vanity Fair. You can see why she’s legendary, because she’s managed to TAKE PICTURES of CELEBRITIES in front of a GREY WALL. How does she do it? This kind of genius doesn’t come naturally. She may have sold her soul to the devil. Or bathed in the blood of Christian babies. In fact, I think I read that somewhere.
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Sean Penn is Wolverine’s emo brother.
Without the proper high-speed camera equipment, it is virtually impossible to photograph actors with their mouths closed.
Can someone Photoshop out the actors?
I think looking at just the grey wall might be more interesting.
This just in from 2017: FOX announces the pairing of Dev Patel and Christopher Mintz-Plasse on Celebrity Boxing XI!
this may be the last time we see mickey rourke sans chihuahua, so enjoy it.
*John* Patrick Shanley.
How can you be dissin’ the writer of Joe Versus the Volcano like that??
Is Woody Allen pinchin’ nipples?
“Oh for fuck’s sake, Penn doesn’t look enough like a self-important pain in the ass. Check the F-stop. Everyone knows 2.5 is the douchiest setting.”
Maybe she bathes in the glow of Christian tirades
Clint: “Listen, sweetheart – I ain’t got time for pretty poses. So, pack up your Polaroid and waltz on out to the parking lot. I’ll be in my truck.”
*John* Patrick Shanley.
How can you be dissin’ the writer of Joe Versus the Volcano like that??
Ugh, I knew I shoulda double-checked that.
Where the fuck are the eye fucking 13 year olds, Anne? You’re losing your shit ya jew bitch!
You’re questioning the use of a cheap background with a photog named Liebowitz.
Clint Eastwood thinks he’s in a spaceship in that picture.
These celebrities appear to have hit that grey wall with their faces.
Caption for Eastwood: “Ass, grass or cash you little pussy. When I was your age I didn’t have a pot to piss in and the only things we smoked were unfiltered Marlboros and hams, so yeah, I manned up and sucked a lotta dick.”
I am quite enjoying the evisceration in the banner pic. Does this make me sick?
Clint Eastwood: “Get off my benchseat.”
John Patrick Shanley: Oh my, how did you get so fucking old? Oh really? No shit. And the ugly? Really? Really??
Now that joe pantoliano line in Memento makes a bit more sense.
I think Penelope is about to Van Damme Woody’s neck there.
Annie’s camera shutters at the thought of capturing Mickey Rourke’s face.
If any of them want to be cool, they should have gotten the picture taken with their skateboard, like I did for my senior pictures.
That ‘skateboard’ looked suspiciously like a pogo stick, Nom.
Is it just me or does Darren Aronofsky look like he’s trying his absolute best to hold in a gigantic turd? It would explain the unbuttoned suit.
I was surprised to see the Dark Knight photo included Heath Ledger’s corpse, but then I realized Christian Bale probably couldn’t abide her FUCKING with the FUCKING LIGHTS! Anyhow, I’m glad Heath’s death persona is that of a creepy pedophile, complete with mustache and long coat. That’s how I choose to remember him, anyways.
ARONOFSKY looks like his mom dressed him in last years suit for this year’s JC Penny’s portraits.
Gray wall? No, no … that’s a huuuuge blow-up of Gerald Posner’s forehead.