50 CENT AND SEXMAN ARE BEEFIN’
02.09.09
FilmDrunk’s official movie reviewer, Sexman, is tired of 50 Cent’s shameless media whoring and he’s taken to the internet to question Fiddy’s street cred. A makeup product for men? That ain’t how we do in the Sexman family. Anyway, you’d be wise to listen up, Mr. Cent, because if there’s one thing Sexman knows, it’s keepin it real.
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Worse, 50 Cent is making a zombie movie, Get Rich or Undie Tryin’.
Even worse is the new Jane Austen adaptation, 50 Cent and Sensibility.
I’m no expert in Orthodontics, but shouldn’t his teeth start coming together at some point?
Maybe his teeth are superconductor magnets.
50 Cent should offer a service where a hired thug comes over and shoots you nine times so his fans can get the authentic “Fiddy Experience”.
As a precaution, Sexman is apparently wearing a bullet-proof mouthpiece.
The Fiddy Cent action figure will have the “Bitch-Gimme-My-Money Throat Grip.”
I thought young white kids were the only ones who fell for Fiddy’s crap.
Looks like somebody’s lost his audience!
Sexman looks like one of those fish that cling to the aquarium glass. He keeps my monitor algae-free.
Sexman is upset because Fiddy is doing a campaign against tooth decay in which his character’s name is Gungevitus.
So, how many of Sexman’s 25 subscribers do you think are FilmDrunkards?
Just think. In five more years he’ll be pawning all those DVDs behind him for beer money.
I hear he’s teaming up with M. Night Shyamalan on “The 50th Cents.”
“I see dead people…who were once trying to get rich.”
My dick could fit between those two front teeth.
*chodin enters thread dragging woman by her pubes*
See, the cavemen were doing it all wrong. This is much more effective, especially with today’s economy.
Sexman is just bitter because 50 cent sounds like a great deal and his dentist should give him back a quarter.
Sexman, if you are gonna beef with Mr. Cent, please take them Babysitter’s Club and Goosebumps books off that shelf before you roll camera, ok?
JHC- “Maybe his teeth are superconductor magnets.”
I’m no physics expert (well I kind of am), but I believe that a simple polarity adjustment could bring them together.
Maybe he can write an anti-Fiddy rap with Rhymenoceros.
I believe that a simple polarity adjustment could bring them together.</i.
And solve the mysteries of cold fusion, Tengo.
Fuck lefty bracket. Sell out WHOOOORE!
Sexman stabs babies.
Sexman should buy a bag of 50 Cent beauty products. Well, at least the bag.
Sexman is what Emma Watson would look like if she got in a car wreck and then decided to have nine consecutive gender reassignment surgeries.
Sexman’s action figures are back there discussing how they can get the 1994 Sports Illustrated out from under his bed and read it.
I mooched on my own fame once. I couldn’t see for a week!
Sexman once got knocked out and crash landed in his swimming pool after a flock of geese flew into his closed mouth.
Sexman’s about a dollar.
What the fuck is 50 cent?
I think I actually saw a train run across Sexman’s teeth.
Fess up Vance, these Sexman vids are really just viral PSA’s for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, right?
Either Sexman’s getting a mustache, or he’s pounding Ovaltine like a motherfucker.
Fess up Vance, these Sexman vids are really just viral PSA’s for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, right?
Fetal Alcohol Syndrome: Drink It All In, Canadians.
Is it just me, or is the Joker on that poster just about to show Sexman his magic pencil trick?
The gaps between Sexman’s teeth are so big, each tooth has a sign on it that says “next tooth one mile”.
I watched the first 10 seconds of this video on mute and had to pry my tongue out of my throat with a blue Papermate pen.
I think we can all call this what it is:
Teeff Beef.
The gaps between Sexman’s teeth are so big, you can almost fit the time span between Big Smelly Dirt Cock’s funny comments.
Almost.
If Sexman and 50 Cent recorded a rap album together, early reviews would describe it as “plaquey” and “incoherent”.
Sexman just ordered the 50 Cent dildo. Strictly for research purposes, of course.
Its not exactly a revolutionary idea. I have a rubber mold of Jenna Jameson’s twat I fornicate with on a regular basis.
Pauly, there is no gap that exists that is large enough for that.
50 cent dildo -
ride or die