When 50 Cent was on a Turkish game show a while back, they challenged him to do a Turkish dance and it was kind of like that scene in Airplane where the anthropologist introduces the African tribes people to basketball and they immediately start throwing alley oops to each other. Meanwhile, Freida Pinto (the female lead in Slumdog Millionaire) was recently on Craig Ferguson, and when she tried to teach him the Bollywood Step, it was sort of a disaster, because Ferguson is Scottish and Scots tend to dance only during alcohol-induced seizures. Also: when did dancing with the host become standard talk show-guest behavior? Should I blame Ellen? If I was a talk show host, I’d have on one of those African ladies to teach me how to balance like 80 pounds of junk on my head because that seems like a really useful skill.
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I can’t wait until February 23rd so we can all go back to not giving a shit about Slumdog Millionaire, its stars or that shithole of a country India.
Freida Pinto was today’s special at Tampicos Mexican grill in town today.
Something something play my bagpipe. Fuck, I need a nap.
In fairness to Pinto, everybody who has come on Ferguson’s show and tried to teach him anything resembling a marketable skill has failed.
To Ferguson’s credit, it’s a lot easier to dance like that when you’re used to avoiding stepping in rivers of human feces.
What happens when you mix Indian and Scottish cultures?
You get the Bollywood 12-Step.
Nicholas Almeida is just waiting to take offense to somebody saying that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.
Cuming on Ferguson isn’t a marketable skill?
{Scratches off of 5 year plan}
Next you’re gonn tell me that throwing steak fajitas at Ellen Degeneres and yelling, “Eat Eva’s taco bitch! Eat it!” isn’t either….pfft… yur jes fukin wid me…
Scottish people all look alike to me. Wasn’t he in 300?
Speaking of nasty meat folds… I’m gonna get a Gordita for lunch!
I once danced with an Indian. To be honest though I was just trying to ask where the bathroom was in the 7-eleven.
I was trying to convey I was seconds from shitting myself. Suddenly, music played and 12 dudes dressed in colorful clothes came out of the chip aisle and started dancing around me.
“I’d have on one of those African ladies to teach me how to balance like 80 pounds of junk on my head”
Nicholas Almeida uses that as a code phrase when he wants you to teabag him.