THE VAN DAMME VERSION WAS BETTER
01.07.09I’ve been saying all along that the new Street Fighter (The Legend of Chun-Li) movie was a stupid idea, but now that I’ve seen the trailer I realize I was wrong. It has opera music in the background, characters doing their moves from the game –- what more could you want? I hope that in a climactic scene Guile does a sonic boom only to realize it’s traveling far too slow, “Oh God, why didn’t I press the roundhouse button?!” he’ll shout. In related news, Vega is Wolverine’s gay cousin.
If I was a Street Fighter character, my special move would be the dismissive wank motion.
[via IGN]
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If I were a Street Fighter character, my special move would be the classic “Fuck You (middle finger straight up) and The Horse You Rode In On (middle finger pointed towards the fuckee and repeat thrust)” maneuver.
I thought Lana Lang’s ability was Neutragena face washing mixed with the power of annoying whine.
I miss Raul Julia’s flashy gay red suit and hat.
That wasn’t Vega. That was Gerald Posner in his “I have to go out in public” attire.
SONIC CUNT PUNCH!
Chun-Li can Chow Mei Fun
The DVD version will take 45 minutes longer to watch because of the asshole sitting next to you pausing it everytime Chun Li high kicks.
Gerald Posner’s special move is not being chased down by villagers with pitchforks and flaming torches.
I’ve composed a simple family tree of the Hollywood “Li” family…
Chun –> rice patties –> Jet
New up, Farva!
One reviewer wrote that an early screener of this film was entirely watchable. That writer was then exposed as Shiatzulu, king of all dog poops.
Am I honestly supposed to sit here and believe that you don’t know that a fast Sonic Boom uses the “Fierce Punch” button?