01.28.09 THE A-TEAM MOVIE IS BACK ON

They should cast an albino in the Mr. T role and make his nipples lactate when he gets scared of flying and then Hannibal can feed him his own breast milk to make him pass out.

They wanted to cast Gerald Posner, but they would have to have changed the character’s name to Too-Much-Face.

I’m holding out for a Simon & Simon remake starring Larry The Cable Guy and Justin Timberlake.

The only way I’d be interested in seeing this is if Airwolf was the bad guy.

I’m looking forward to The P Team starring R. Kelly and Mark Wahlberg.

According to something I just made up, the studio is pushing for Kimbo Slice to take over the roll of BA Baracus, and has infact been pushing for an all MMA cast. Except for the roll of Hannibal which will of course be going to Anthony Hopkins. Fred Durst has been hired to score the film.

Ol’ CCH has a movie idea about a ‘Nam vet who comments on blogs and then drives around the country in his Winnybango, rescuing lonely vaginas.

Updated characters will include: PTSD Murdock and A.G. Baracus (A.G. stands for “Abu Ghraib”).

I have two words for the casting of Mr. T.

Kimbo. Slice.

God dammit i gotta start reading these comments before posting one.

By “rescuing” do you mean “BTKing”? Cause that would be cool.

Why not keep Mr. T? He’s still convincing.

http://www.videosift.com/video/Mr-T-hates-Power-Walkers-Snickers-Commercial

So I guess this is probably a bad time for me to be shopping around the script I wrote called The C- Team. It’s pretty much the same story, but replace “Special Forces” with “Junior College.”

I could totally see Ice Cube killing the punanny in the back of the rape van.

I had a rapemobile in my crib as a baby.

http://tinyurl.com/dy4qwo

Can they bring in some Hardcastle and Mcormick, BJ and the Bear and maybe a little Magnum to round out the attractive but actually homeless group?

Pauly…BAHAHAHAHA

Let’s see, how can they urbanize this a little? You know, get a little bass for our Face?

I got it: Flavor Flav as Mr. T, boy-ee!

I would be the B.A. Baracus of the A2M Team.

This just in, BrocknRoll can now confirm that Eliza Dushku has been approached to play Detective Hannah Bell Smith, a beautiful LA cop who just happens to also be Hannibal’s daughter. Sources say that the Hannah character is a no nonsense ass kickin chick whose tough exterior is no match for the charm of a certain member of the team. After she is is kidnapped, Hannibal and the A-Team will stop at nothing to save her, even if it means infiltrating a dangerous underground fight club called the Playground.

That van is not accurate.

The top half from the red stripe up is gray.

http://www.truffleshuffle.co.uk/store/images/a_team_van_03.jpg

You know what would be ironic? What if, in the new version, BA Baracus is working as an air marshal?

I need accuracy in my life like I need whisky right now.

If this movie is successful, we’re repainting the BTK Van.

Being Mexican, I’m actually surprised you didn’t notice that the wheels were different first, P Dangle.

Out of the running to play Murdoch:

JFK Jr.
John Denver
Lynyrd Skynyrd
Jett Travolta

JHC, I did know because I stole the originals and sold them at the swap meet.

Shhhhhhhh, trying to keep that on the down-low.

I pity the foo that sees this movie!

Will Smith would make a great Hannibal. You know, the “elephants in the Alps” guy. Damn Scipio.

Did no one see Quentin Jackson’s B.A. impression on Conan? I’d vote for him if he’s not in jail by then.

Murdoch should either be played by Tom Green or Joaquin Phoenix’s new rapper character.

How long until they cast Tyrese as BA?

Though not yet publicly confirmed, footage of the US Air plane crash into the Hudson will be used as the climactic ending, including scenes of all the bad guys walking away unharmed…

How about Marlon Wayans as BA. He’s got all that authentic GI Joe action movie experience.

It doesn’t have the brush grill either.
This is Mike Birbiglia’s van isn’t it?

Xzibit should play B.A. and put an Xbox and speakers in the back of that old piece of shit.

*van comes to a screeching halt, chodin throws open sliding door*

Quick, everybody! Get in my A-hole!!!! Hurry, hurry, there’s no time to waste!!! Make haste!

Things I learned from the A-Team:
Corrugated sheet metal can stop .50 cal bullets. And makes cool sparks.

Things I learned from the A-Team:
Reversing a shop vac and shooting heads of lettuce at bad guys will scare the fuck out of them and send them running.

Things I learned from the A-Team:
Always smoke cigars and wear black leather gloves.

FOX is making it? Oh man this is gonna blow.

OK, I want to make Vegas odds for who’s going to play whom:

Murdock > Chris Evans -110
Hannibal > Bruce Greenwood -135
Face > if this isn’t Stamos I’ll fucking eat the hat I’m wearing
B.A. Baracus > unheard of zany black comedian -210

Sadly, Danny Trejo +290

Odds on Mr. T having a cameo as a homeless person pushing a cart in the middle of a chase scene -50000

“…written by Skip Woods [who's written Swordfish and Hitman, along with a plethora of bounced checks and suicide notes]“

The neighborhood ice-cream man is gonna paint his van like this when he gets his stimulus check.

Things I learned from the A-Team:
Always let the batshit crazy guy fly the helicopter.

Things I learned from the A-Team:
Airwolf > A-Team

Things I learned from the A-Team:
Duct tape = bulletproof

Things I learned from the A-Team:
Throwing a smoke bomb made of cow shit at a bunch of AK blazing goons will make them run away and never come back.

Since we live in a post-racial world, the character of B.A. is now called MBA. He works hard and plays hard.

Things I learned from the A-Team:
Attach a hang glider to the top of an ‘80 Chevy 3/4 ton panel van and you can jump the Snake River even with the back full of cone vomitting orphans.