01.07.09 THE 2008 RAZZIE NOMINATIONS
Every year since 1980 The Razzie Awards have honored the worst Hollywood has to offer. Their trophy isn’t shaped like a pile of shit, but it should be. This year’s nominees:
Worst Picture:
Speed Racer, Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans, The Day the Earth Stood Still, High School Musical 3, The Hottie & The Nottie, Dungeon Siege, The Love Guru, Postal, Rambo, The Happening, Meet Dave, Witless ProtectionWorst Actor:
Zac Efron, Dane Cook, Larry the Cable Guy, Eddie Murphy, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Sylvester Stallone, Tom Cruise (Valkyrie), Will Ferrell, Ashton Kutcher, Mike Myers, Adam Sandler, Mark WahlbergWorst Actress:
Paris Hilton, Jessica Alba, The cast of “The Women,” Camilla Belle, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Diane Keaton, Jennifer Connelly, Zooey Deschanel [HOW DARE YOU!], Vanessa Hudgens, Eva Longoria-Parker, Reese WitherspoonWorst Screen Couple:
Any couple from HSM 3, Cameron Diaz & Ashton Kutcher, Paris Hilton & Joel David Moore, Kate Hudson & Dane Cook, Kate Hudson & Matthew McConaughey, Larry the Cable Guy & Jenny McCarthy, Any couple from Mamma Mia, Eddie Murphy & Eddie Murphy (Meet Dave), Al Pacino & His Hair, Mark Wahlberg & Zooey Deschanel, Mark Wahlberg & Mila Kunis, Sylvester Stallone & His EgoWorst Director:
Uwe Boll, Scott Derrickson, Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer, Tom Putnam, Marco Schnabel, Sylvester Stallone, Jon Avnet, Diane English, Roland Emmerich, Brian Robbins, Kenny Ortega, M. Night ShyamalanWorst Prequel, Sequel, Remake or Rip-Off:
Indiana Jones 4, HSM 3, Rambo, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Disaster Movie, Meet the Spartans, An American Carol, The Women, The Day the Earth Stood Still, Prom Night, Speed Racer, X-Files: I Want To BelieveWorst Career Achievement:
Uwe Boll, Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer, Madonna, Keanu Reeves, Sylvester Stallone
I’m crossing my fingers for a Seltzer-Friedberg sweep. Then when they show up to collect their awards and fake smile and pretend to be good sports, which they probably would because they’re huge tools like that, the trophy could squirt them with poison gas. Just a thought.
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There are 23 comments about:
THE 2008 RAZZIE NOMINATIONS
Stallone’s ego: “It’s an honor just to be nominated. I love when people pay attention to me”
Neither Ratner nor McG were nominated for worst director?
Can everybody win? I think that would be nice.
Instead of a raspberry, it should just be a rasp. Also, instead of handing it to the winners, it should be forced up the winners’ assholes.
I think a fun idea would be to have a small amount of C4 on a remote hidden inside each award. That way, they could hold the afterparty in the bowels of Hell.
Forget the fucking Hadron Collider; if all the nominees show up to the ceremony, the sheer power of their combined sucking will do more damage than that thing could ever accomplish.
Bill Pullman should be the host every year.
I love Zooey Deschanel, it was M Nightshamalamadingdongs fault for writing shite!
Bill Pullman and Howard the Duck.
Excuse me, Rambo? RAMBO? Are you out of your fucking minds? They should just stop giving out Oscars because Rambo should be nominated and re-nominated for all of them every year with absolutely no other competition for the rest of forever. If you can count how many heads explode in the last 10 minutes of that movie I will buy you a beer.
It’s not Al Pacino’s hair’s fault that the guy is a ham.
I often dream that Eibz is Zooey Deschanel while I’m fantasizing about sodomizing her. . .What?!?! I never said that!
Al Pacino was in a movie recently?
Tom Cruise (Valkyrie)
Exactly what is the point of that clarification, pray tell? How about Tom Cruise (really, have you seen anything he’s done lately?)
Erswi, call me…
My worst picture is still the one I found in the back of my dad’s closet when I was 11. BTK, if anybody ever tries to get you interested in “Alternative body puppetry”, tell him you’re not interested in seeing Gonzo.
Sam Peckinpah said of the violence in The Wild Bunch that he wanted to give “some idea of what it is to be gunned down.” Having seen Rambo i can only guess Stallone was thinking along the same lines… and then some. One of the most gleefully violent movies i have ever seen. The Grand Guignol of action movies.
N’UP!
It’s good to see Al Pacino’s hair is finally getting it’s due.
(Why didn’t you think of that one, Jack?)
This is just cruel. Making anybody compete against Uwe for worst director, as if they had a chance.
I agree with Brooklyn. Rambo shouldn’t be nominated for anything except ‘Best Fucking Movie Ever’. I doubt the Razzie people even watched it.
The Razzies have lost all credibility putting Rambo in there, not even to mention the fact that they put Sly Stallone up for worst career achievement. Excuse me. Are you not aware that he was in motherFUCKING Rocky IV? He ended the cold war, you pillow biters!
BTW, Chappy and Brooklyn, let’s withhold judgment on Best Fucking Movie ever until Crank 2 comes out in April. If Statham squeezes that trigger when he puts that shotgun up the guy’s ass, I think we’ll have a new champ.
Keanu-bashing is still considered cool? Really? I’m not particularly a fan of the guy, but honestly, he was one of the few things that didn’t suck about TDTESS.
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